


Unorthodox

by shokoshik



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 14:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 77,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12110640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shokoshik/pseuds/shokoshik
Summary: Callie and Arizona have been separated for four years now. During the first two years they hardly even spoke to one another. Everything was hard and confusing. But gradually, over the course of the following two years, they became civil, and eventually, for the very first time since they met, simply friends. Will their mutual respect and care for one another be enough for them to form a new, somewhat unconventional kind of partnership? Post 11X05.





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This fic was originally posted on fanfic.net a few years ago so I can't honestly say I remember much about it, but I figured it should be here as well.

 The idea came about after 11X05. The episode made me think about a few couples I knew that were in a similar situation to the one Callie and Arizona will be in this story, and it made me want to explore that with these two. Hopefully you’ll find that you’re intrigued by the concept as much as I was. This one dives right in. The prologue is essentially what launches the whole story. But there’s quite a lot of story to tell, so you’ll see we’re not wasting anytime. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

She was scratching her scalp gently. It was a habit of hers that she hated, but one that took over whenever she was nervous. And boy was she nervous now.

As she was sitting and waiting by the nice looking table, she was giving herself a pep talk, trying to assure herself enough to at least stop the scratching.

If this habit was to continue, she thought, she would have to do a self intervention and those rarely ever worked, right?

She pushed these thoughts away and went back to the pep talk inside her head.

She could do this, right? She could ask her best friend this question. It was **just** a question, an hypothetical thing. No biggie.

Worst case scenario, said best friend could say no and that would be it. Things won’t be awkward and her best friend won’t hold it against her.

Because that’s what Arizona Robbins was to her, her best friend. Ish. At least Callie thought so.

Best friend, person she went to when she needed to vent or talk about her recent relationships, other mother of her child, ex-wife extraordinaire – Arizona Robbins.

It wasn’t always like that. It wasn’t always calm and comfortable between them. The first couple of years were rough. Arizona was still hurt. They both were. Callie understood, and felt guilty and responsible, but she couldn’t change the way she was feeling. She couldn’t change what she wanted for them.

But then, Arizona finished her fellowship, Callie’s research was becoming more and more successful by the day, and Sofia brought home that A+ in history from school, and something shifted.

Callie knew they were truly, finally okay when Arizona started calling her Calliope again, even if it was only in a friendly way. She missed it not being said in a friendly way, but they were finally good. First just good, and then eventually so **so** good.

Callie was so happy when that day came. She missed Arizona in her life. They might’ve not been together anymore, but Callie always loved who Arizona was, and she missed Arizona as a person. Feeling like they could finally be a part of each other’s lives again, confide in each other, joke with one another, meant the world to her. She suspected it meant the world to the other woman as well.

So if Arizona felt comfortable enough to come and tell her about cases, and about her dates, and about this interesting story she read in yesterday’s newspaper, Callie could ask her this one question, right?

As Callie was pondering on the matter, the perky blonde appeared at the entrance to the restaurant. She spotted Callie, waved eagerly and let her dimples pop, which made Callie smile in return.

Two seconds later and Arizona was by the table.

“Calliope!” she said excitedly to the woman who stood up to greet her with a warm hug, “you chose a really nice place!”

“Thanks. They have some of your favorites, so I figured…” Callie let her words dissolve into the air, not sure what else to say.

“Well that was awfully nice,” Arizona said cheerfully. “Not that I’m complaining about a night out spent in great company, but what’s the occasion?” she asked as she was sitting down.

“Well, hmmm… I… I’ve been thinking, and I have something I need to ask you. Or… of you, I don’t know.”

“Uh oh, do you owe money to someone in the black market?” Arizona asked jokingly.

“I guess that depends. Will you help me if I do?” Callie countered.

“Wait seriously?”

“Of course not, dummy!”

“Oh, thank god. I got so worried. What was I suppose to tell Sofia when her mother’s guts suddenly appear in a box on the doorstep?”

“Grotesque much?” Callie said, disgusted expression on her face.

“You scared me! I had no time to process logically!”

“Well, I wasn’t the one who… wait, this argument is beyond silly. As you can see, I’m completely intact and intend on remaining so,” Callie promised.

“And thank god for that.”

The waitress approached the table to take their orders and while Arizona didn’t get a chance to look at the menu, she went with Callie’s recommendations, knowing the other woman probably knew what she would like.

“So, what is it that you wanted to ask, Calliope?” Arizona inquired once the waitress left them alone again.

The restaurant was nice, Arizona thought. Classy. Quiet. Intimate. She figured Callie had something quite serious on her mind if she took them somewhere they could talk, somewhere neutral, she realized. Callie wanted them both to be on equal ground and away from their child. Arizona didn’t know if all of the above was suppose to worry her or excite her.

“Well,” Callie started, “I don’t know how to say this…”

“Like a band aid, honey, like a band aid,” Arizona said and offered a smile.

Callie sighed.

“It’s not the band aid kind of talk,” she explained. “It’s the planning in advance and over analyzing kind of talk. Give me a second to sort out my words,” she asked, and Arizona granted, sitting patiently and giving Callie the time she needed.

“Okay,” Callie started after a few silent moments, “just… let me do the whole speech please. Then you can laugh at my face as much as you want.”

“Noted,” Arizona replied with a soft smile.

“I think… well, we’re getting along pretty well lately, right?”

“Wait, am I waiting to the end of the speech or am I answering the question?”

“Answering the question Arizona,” Callie said while rolling her eyes.

“Hmm… yeah, of course we are! And if by lately you mean for years now, then yes!” Arizona replied genuinely.

“And… Sofia is turning up pretty great, true?”

“She’s turning up incredible, Calliope,” Arizona said, starting to get more and more confused as to where their conversation was headed.

“Look, Arizona, I know it wasn’t always easy, but nowadays I consider you my best friend, you know that, right?”

“Aww, that’s sweet of you to say, Callie, you are my best friend too,” Arizona admitted. It was the truth after all.

“Right, thanks,” Callie replied, too busy being nervous to appreciate the sincere moment the two of them just shared.

“So,” she continued, “if we are best friends and we really in tune when it comes to co-parenting, and we get along pretty darn well…”

Callie was trying hard to finish her sentence, but additional words refused to come out.

“Callie?” Arizona asked in concern.

“I want another baby,” Callie finally blurted out.

“What?” Arizona asked in a momentary shock.

“Just, just hear me out, okay?”

Arizona said nothing, just looked at Callie with a funny expression on her face.

“I’ve heard about divorced couples who get along pretty well, and raise a child together, but, you know, apart, I suppose, and… well, some of those couples want another child, and for the sake of giving that child two loving parents, the **same** loving parents as their older sibling, they do it together. Because they already know they agree on so many important things when it comes to parenthood. And I mean, of course they only do it if neither of the parties is involved and… wait, you aren’t? Are you? Involved I mean?”

“No, Callie, I’m not. You know I would’ve told you, but…”

“Yeah, so... there. And I just figured… this isn’t meant to fix anything, it’s just… I want to have another child. I want Sofia to have a sister or a brother, and I want that child to have another parent. And I wouldn’t want to do it with anybody else, so I figured we could try this? And I think that now we might actually have some time for a newborn.”

“Now that you got your Harper Avery and that’s out of the way, you mean?” Arizona asked with a soft smile on her face.

“Right. That. So…yeah. And I know it’s a bit unorthodox, but hey, when did we ever play by the rules, right?”

“Right.”

“So… yeah. I think with Sof being nearly eight, she’d be so happy. And we already know we parent well together, so I figured, you know. I’d ask. And now I’m done… asking,” Callie finished and took a big breath.

Arizona stared at her intently for a long moment but said nothing.

“What?” Callie asked anxiously.

“Well,” Arizona started, “I don’t know how to say this…”

“Woha, déjà-vu,” Callie said and made Arizona smile. “It’s okay,” she continued, “it was a long shot. I’m sorry if this made things awkward or if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

“I wanna carry,” Arizona blurted out suddenly.

“I understand, don’t worry about it and… wait, what?” Callie asked in confusion, not entirely sure she heard correctly.

“I…” Arizona tried to speak but chuckled instead. “This is ridiculous. I was having very similar thoughts to yours.”

“You were?” Callie asked in surprise.

“Well, I didn’t go as far as the co-parenting part like you did, but yeah,” she said and made Callie blush.

“Hey,” Arizona said soothingly and took the other woman’s hand in hers, “don’t feel insecure. I think it’s a great idea.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, all I meant was… lately I’ve been feeling like I wanted another child too, and I was also thinking I’d like to carry. I’d like to experience that once in my life, and… I’m ready now, you know?”

Callie smiled softly and nodded.

 “I wasn’t… back when… you know…”

“Yeah,” Callie said softly.

“But I am **now**. I want to. And if I had an extra week to think about it, I’d probably get a similar idea to yours. I love parenting with you, Callie. You and I? We’ve achieved quite a lot, together and apart, but Sofia is probably the best thing either of us has ever done.”

“Sing it!” Callie said and Arizona smiled widely.

“And she is **so** awesome, because we made her awesome. **We** did this, Calliope, together.”

They smiled at each other, understanding the magnitude of what has been agreed upon.

“So, is that a yes?” Callie asked finally, hopefully.

“Well it depends. Can I carry?” Arizona asked, already knowing the other woman won’t ever deprive her of that chance.

“One condition,” Callie said, smiling.

“Name it.”

“I’m gonna move in,” Callie said, and as the words came out of her mouth, she was already thinking that this wasn’t necessarily the best of ideas.

“Done,” Arizona agreed in a heartbeat.

“Really?”

“Really. I’d ask for the same thing if the roles were reversed,” Arizona admitted.

Callie might’ve thought this wasn’t the best idea, and Arizona might’ve agreed, but one thing Callie knew for sure – she wasn’t gonna let a pregnant Arizona Robbins, the mother to be of her child, be all alone with no one to go out at all sorts of crazy hours just to get her some disgusting food combo she might crave. It was also about safety. The safety of both the mother and the baby. Arizona understood that, and appreciated Callie’s gesture.

“I just want to take care of you, at least at the beginning. Make sure you don’t do any heavy lifting,” Callie said and winked.

“I figured as much, and I’m okay with that and grateful for the offer, but are you absolutely sure you wanna do this?” Arizona asked. She wanted them to do this right, to not mess this up. All cards on the table, everything out in the open.

“I do,” Callie assured.

“Good because I was planning on doing **so much** heavy lifting,” Arizona said teasingly

Callie smiled.

“We just need to be smart and think how to break this news to Sofia,” she added.

“Oh goodness, I didn’t even think about that,” Arizona said, “what are we gonna tell her?”

“Well, I think she might be old enough to understand.”

“Right. ‘Hey, sweetie? Mommy and mommy aren’t together anymore, as you know, but they still care about each other very much. And they love you and want to bring you a brother or a sister. So, just for a while, mommy’s gonna leave daddy’s apartment and will be staying with us.’ How does that sound?” Arizona asked the other woman.

“It sounds to me like she’ll be asking for ice cream every night before bed,” Callie said.

“Why?”

“Because… I might’ve given her some every time she stayed with me?”

“Calliope!”

“Still wanna co-parent another child with me?” Callie asked with a smile.

“As long as I get ice cream every night too.”

“I thought you were about to say as long as there’s no ice cream involved,” Callie admitted.

“Please, Callie, you know me better than that.”

“I really **really** do. So, we are actually doing this?”

“One condition,” Arizona countered.

“There’s that déjà-vu again. Name it.”

“You’re gonna put your Harper Avery Award on the top shelf in the living room,” Arizona said.

Callie raised an eyebrow and looked at Arizona with the best poker face she could muster.

“What? Don’t judge me. It’s gonna look great at dinner parties,” Arizona explained and they both smiled at each other contently.


	2. Chapter 2

“Callie, you can’t do this,” Arizona said, desperation in her voice.

She just got back from their therapist’s office to find her wife in their bedroom, packing the stuff that were still left in their closet during their 30 days break, and transferring them to the guest bedroom.

“I know, it’s not ideal, but only until the lease with the couple at Mark’s ends. Then I’ll move over there. You can stay here, of course. I **want** you to stay here.”

“That’s not what I meant. You can’t do this. You can’t just… leave. You have to talk to me. Didn’t you hear any of what I said earlier? I love you!”

Callie sighed. She loved Arizona too, but it wasn’t working, it was harder than it should be. **Much** harder.  Couldn’t Arizona see that?

“Arizona… we’re unhappy.”

“Well, I’ll also be unhappy without you. So I’d rather be unhappy and at least still have you.”

“Listen to yourself! Listen to the words coming out of your mouth! You’re willing to compromise for something mediocre. For something that isn’t great. This isn’t like you! This is not who you are, and that’s exactly my point!”

“Are you calling what we have mediocre?” Arizona asked, hurt evident in her voice.

“I’m saying,” Callie explained softly, “that we used to be great. We used to make each other feel great. Can you honestly tell me that I still make you feel great?”

Arizona said nothing. She looked down, unwilling to meet the other woman’s gaze.

“Exactly. At best, we make each other feel mediocre,” Callie said quietly. She took a step forward, put her fingers under Arizona’s chin and softly raised Arizona’s head to meet her eyes.

“I love you, too,” she said sincerely. “I don’t want you to doubt that. But if I love you, I can’t be selfish. For both our sakes. I love you enough to want you to feel great again, to set you free. Do you love me enough to want **me** to feel great again?” she asked sadly.

Arizona didn’t reply but looked into Callie’s eyes.

“It’s breaking my heart to realize this,” Callie said with a cracking voice, “but I know now that we can’t make each other feel great. Not anymore. And that’s not fair. Everything we’ve been through isn’t fair. But we can’t ignore it any longer. Like I said, I don’t want us to be stuck when I know we can do better.”

“You **do** make me feel great,” Arizona said quietly, pleadingly.

“Well, now you are just lying,” Callie said, not accusingly, still softly. She took a step back in order to keep packing.

“I’m not! Stop telling me what I do and do not mean!” Arizona said angrily.

“Fine!” Callie said, looking up, “I make you feel great. I make you feel **so** great you keep saying I put words in your mouth. That’s how great I make you feel!” She yelled.  “So if you’re not lying, then yeah, I do make you feel great, just not even half the time I **used** to make you feel great,” she concluded softly.

Arizona looked at her but again, said nothing. She was angry and hurt, and mostly sad, and she didn’t know where to go from there.

“This was a bad idea. I’ll get a room somewhere. I shouldn’t stay here. I’ll come back tomorrow so we can decide what to tell Sofia,” Callie said.

“No, don’t. Stay. It’s your house too. I don’t want to be the one who kicked  mommy out of her own house due to my over clingy feelings,” Arizona hissed and left the room.

“Arizona…” Callie tried, but the woman was already out of sight.

Callie sighed and sat down on the bed. This was going to be the hardest thing she had ever had to go through.

* * *

Arizona was sitting on the couch, watching Callie as the other woman, who was sat on the floor by the coffee table, was going through a pile of potential sperm donors. Callie was biting her lip in concentration, just barley, and Arizona couldn’t help but feeling a bit emotional at the familiarity of the scene.

They’ve been here before. Sitting together in their apartment, now house, with a glass of wine in hand, and trying to choose a sperm to put in Arizona. As a gold star lesbian, she was somewhat appalled by the idea, but as a mother to be, who was looking at her ex-wife in a soothing nostalgia, she concentrated on the outcome. They’ve come a long way, and they weren’t what they used to be anymore, but that night years ago, when they sat together to pick a donor, was still one of her nicest memories.

Things used to be very different back then. For starters, they were married. And also, while that specific evening was calm and peaceful, they weren’t entirely intact.

Yet here they were sitting, nearly six years later, not together, but way more **put** together.

Arizona looked at the other woman and smiled. Seeing Callie so invested in something they both wanted, agreed on, chose to do together, made her happy.

She loved the other woman. She would always love the other woman and she knew that the feeling was mutual. After all, they were connected through the most important person in their lives, and she realized they’ve chosen to strengthen that connection, by bringing into the world another person who would have that same title.

Callie **was** her best friend. Arizona was so hurt when they just separated. She felt like she was abandoned in the battlefield, betrayed. She felt like Callie was jumping ship. Another decision was made **for** her. But then time passed and she realized that Callie was right, that a weight was lifted and something within her changed.

Arizona, a woman who would easily admit that she’d always turned to sex upon singleness or in bad times, needed to take some time to mourn the greatest love of her life. Even in their first separation, she found some physical release in the form of Leah Murphy, but this time around, she couldn’t. Her soul was healing, and that soul wasn’t ready for her to share her body with another person. With someone who wasn’t Callie. When she realized that, she also realized she was maturing. It wasn’t about her previous patterns being right **or** wrong, it was about feeling like making a different choice. That’s how she knew it was maturing, and that’s when it hit her – Callie was right. As sad as it was, their breakup turned Arizona into a version of herself she liked better, and though it was a weird thing to be indebted about, she knew she owed it to Callie.

Which is how they managed to drift back, slowly but surely, into the friendly terms that eventually led to their best friendship status. A healthy place that also allowed her to gain other sorts of intimacy with other people again. It’s not like she waited two years before she was seeing other people, but things just felt more at ease in general when they became friends.

So yeah, she **could** have a glass of wine and appreciate the adorableness of her best friend, as said friend was making serious decisions, thank you very much.

Was she afraid of having Callie back at the house? Probably somewhere along the lines of terrified. Mostly, she figured they found such a great balance over the past couple of years, and she was afraid of losing that, of losing Callie and the part she played in Arizona’s life.

What did this mean for any romantic relationship either of them might pursue in the following months? What did it mean in terms of Sofia’s long term feelings?”

A conversation needed to be had, she knew that much. They’ve already done a lot of talking and layouting since they decided on moving forward with this adventure, but they had to talk some more. The topics at hand were complex, but they’ve been through so much together, she knew that they were finally at the point of being able to talk about everything. The weight of the martial responsibility wasn’t a factor anymore, and it left room for complete honesty. It was sad, but also liberating. And it promised a brighter future between two people who finally knew better.

And if she was completely honest, she knew she’d love to have someone around the house during her pregnancy. Someone who cared for her and she cared for in return. Someone who will look after her and that baby and share the joy. Someone who would get her fish sticks at 3 AM if the mood strikes. Someone like Callie, whom she trusted completely.

And if she was doing a bit more of that honesty thing, she’d also admit she was quite excited about the idea of Callie moving back in. And she wasn’t the only one.

“Sofia is so excited,” she said, finally breaking the comfortable silence. “She wouldn’t shut up about you moving in. And to be honest, I’m excited too! It’s gonna be like a very long slumber party.”

“With morning sickness, and midnight cravings, and mood swings,” Callie said sarcastically. ‘Also, a stage of horniness,’ she thought to herself but didn’t voice that particular thought. She was trying to not think about the fact that she was technically there to take care of all of Arizona’s needs.  ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,’ she figured, even if it means being a wing lady to her ex-wife. She was committed to the idea of being there to help Arizona.

“Do you think we handled the telling her part okay?” Arizona asked and pulled Callie out of her thoughts.

“I think so. The kid is eight. Soon enough she’ll be smarter than us,” Callie said with a smile and Arizona nodded.

“I’m just afraid that this will be confusing for her and cause damage in the long run,” Arizona explained.

“Well, we clarified where we stand. We told her it’s only temporary. Mostly I think she’s just gonna miss the big TV screen at the apartment,” Callie teased.

“Well, maybe you should just move it here,” Arizona offered without thinking.

“You think so?” Callie asked in surprise.

“Yeah, I mean, I know how much you love your TV shows, and you’re gonna be here for like, what? At least nine months?”

“And then we’ll see if maybe a major part of the first year of the baby’s life,” Callie added, reciting what they agreed upon in advance. They made sure everything was clear so there will be no bumps in the road, other than Arizona’s baby bump, that is.

“Right. So that’s a nearly two years commitment right there. I say – bring your screen over, Calliope.”

“Done!” Callie said excitedly and after a moment added “now I’m thinking this is just your way of upgrading your living room.”

“First an Harper Avery, and now a huge TV screen? I’m shameless,” Arizona said seriously.

“You are,” Callie agreed and they fell into a comfortable silence again.

“Should we sign a contract or something?” Arizona blurted suddenly, breaking the silence once more.

Callie was looking at her intently, trying to measure what was going on in her head.

“Do you feel like we should?” Callie asked softly.

“No,” Arizona said, almost immediately.

“As a business man’s daughter, I know that it’s definitely the smarter thing to do, but, we can maybe…”

“Just trust each other instead?” Arizona asked hopefully, finishing Callie’s thought.

“I’m okay with that option too,” Callie said quietly, sincerely. They held each other’s gaze for a moment and Callie went back to look at the photos while Arizona kept sipping from her wine glass.

‘I will miss you, most of all,’ she thought to herself, flashbacking to different times.

“Hey,” Callie asked suddenly “how was the monitoring appointment this morning?”

“Is this the pregnancy equivalent of asking how my day was?” Arizona asked teasingly.

“I supposed it is, yeah.”

“Well it went well. Nothing too exciting. About a week more of injections to go. Or at least that’s what he said today. Which means we really need to pick that donor stat.”

“Well I went through them all, and I do agree with your top 5,” Callie said.

“Great!”

“It’s just… my top three order is a bit different than yours.”

“You liked number 2 best. Didn’t you?” Arizona asked and smirked.

“I did. Sorry,” Callie said apologetically.

“Don’t be. It was my favorite too. I put him second to keep you unbiased.”

“Seriously?! Arizona!”

“I mean, what’s not to like,” Arizona said, ignoring the other woman’s irritation. “Cuban, so that’s great, he totally has your complexion, and those eyes, beautiful. A scientist who’s also a chef? That’s a winner right there.”

“You played me!” Callie accused.

“So what if I did?”

“Meanie,” Callie said and pouted.

“Oh, whatever, I’m just glad we got that out of the way, now, poke me,” Arizona said with a smirk and took out her IVF syringe to pass it to the other woman.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Callie said, stood up, took the syringe, and brought Arizona’s shirt up, just a little, to reach her abdomen.

“This is way more fun as a group activity,” Arizona said jokingly as Callie pushed the needle in as gently as she could, “otherwise I just feel like a junkie.”

“A doctor who can’t inject herself, ridiculous,” Callie said as she pushed the pump.

“We’re the worst patients and all that jazz,” Arizona countered nonchalantly.

“I never had to go through this process,” Callie said quietly as she took the needle out. “It seems… uncomfortable. Want to talk about it? I’m sorry I couldn’t be there today. I’ll be there next time. Promise.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s okay. I’m gonna have a couple more monitoring appointments. You can’t be there every single time.”

“I should. I want too,” Callie said.

“I know you do. Thank you. And I just don’t have much to say about the subject other then ‘gee, I wish I was six years younger, and with no history of a miscarriage and didn’t have to do this every single day’”.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Calliope, really. I asked to carry, remember? I had a feeling it would come to this. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of sperm, and if it has to go into me eventually, well, might as well already be fertilized when it does.”

Callie laughed loudly.

“Your complete and utter gayness is adorable,” she said.

“’tis the way of life,” Arizona said and shrugged and they smiled at each other silently.

“This is nice,” Arizona said. “Sitting at home together, drinking a glass of wine, catching up.”

“Well I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. Soon enough you’ll have to indulge this every single day,” Callie said.

“Oh, the awfulness! How will I ever manage to survive?!” Arizona said in a fake dramatic tone. “And I won’t even be able to drink!” she added in horror.

“A very good point and a scandal indeed,” Callie agreed.

“So… when are you moving in again?”

“Arizona, I’ve been here every evening since we decided to do this, I’m practically already moved in.”

“Yeah, but you go back to the apartment every night, and it’s late, and we need to make things official. Like a mini house warming. With cake!”

“And my big TV screen.”

“And your big TV screen!”

“Well, I’ll have to check my schedule, but… how’s tomorrow?” Callie asked playfully.

“What, that soon?” Arizona asked mischievously.

“Really?!”

“I suppose that’s okay,” Arizona said casually.

“You **suppose** you don’t want to inject yourself,” Callie argued.

“I suppose you are right.”

“You’re a dork. I have a day off tomorrow. I’ll pack some stuff…”

“… and your TV.”

“…and my TV,” Callie said and rolled her eyes, “and I guess if I forget anything I’ll just head back after work at some point.”

“You know you need a mover or something for that screen, right?” Arizona asked.

“Yes, Arizona. I know. God, you are way too worried about the TV, you know that?”

“Because of Sofia,” Arizona explained.

“You are lying,” Callie said.

“I suppose I am.”

* * *

 

**A/N** : for this special chapter, I had to research things like “drinking during IVF shots” and whatnot. Fun times galore!  Now when it comes to Sofia’s age – we never know how much time passed on this show. Let’s just **assume** that if Sofia is around four after 11X05 (one can hope), in four years time she’s **supposed** to be eight. I’m afraid we’ll just have to go with it.


	3. Chapter 3

“Thanks for doing this, Addison”, Callie said gratefully as she and Arizona entered the room. She gave her friend a warm hug. It’s been a while since they’ve seen each other and she was happy the circumstances of their reunion were good ones.  

“Hey, I’m not the one paying for the plane ticket, in plural, so the pleasure is all mine,” Addison said as the three women came to the center of the room and Arizona climbed on the examining chair.

Callie instinctively took her hand for comfort as she sat by her. They were in this together, after all.

“Only the best for my baby,” she said as Addison took Arizona’s hospital gown up.

Callie averted her gaze back to Arizona’s face, to give the woman some privacy. She might’ve seen it all before, but not recently.  It was very important to her to be respectful of the boundaries in their arrangement.

“Yeah, Addison, it’s pretty great you came just to get me pregnant and monitor me, but we had a pretty great OB/GYN,” Arizona said looking at Callie with annoyance, “not to mention, I could do this myself.”

“I know you’re the rising star of the neonatal world, Robbins,” Addison started, “but as talented as you are, I very much doubt that even you can look into your own vagina.”

Callie chuckled next to Arizona while the other woman groaned.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, you’ll get there,” Addison said and winked.

“I very much doubt that,” Arizona said.

“Hey, who knows, you’re quite flexible,” Callie said teasingly.

“And missing a leg,” Arizona added, “all very good points to consider when one tries to look into one’s own vagina.”

“Okay ladies, enough of this,” Addison said, “let’s get this show on the road. We have eight embryos. That’s very, **very** good.”

“Eight out of twelve! My eggs are rock stars, boom!” Arizona said proudly and Callie giggled.

“So, how many are we trying today?” Addison asked.

“One!” the women replied simultaneously and immediately.

“I see you have discussed this beforehand, good,” Addison said, pleased.

“Hmm, actually,” Callie started, embarrassed, “we haven’t.”

“Yeah, there’s just no way we can handle more than one baby at the time. Clearly, we agree on this,” Arizona said and smiled at Callie softly. They have discussed so many things, this one just slipped between the cracks. It wasn’t a big deal, and they both realized that.

“You do know chances are better if we transfer more than one, right?” Addison asked.

Arizona glared at her.

“Rising star of the neonatal world, remember?” she asked and pointed at herself.

“Yes, but still not an OB/GYN, thank you very much!” Addison replied cheerfully. “So, we are sure about the one?”

“Yeah. Worst case scenario, we’ll try again. I mean, if Arizona is up for it. She’s gonna be the overly injected oven after all,” Callie said and looked at the other woman for approval.

“I am up for it,” Arizona said in determination, “but I don’t have to be. This will work. My eggs are awesome.”

“Well, no matter. You can always use the remaining ones in the future,” Addison said cheerfully, missing the look the other women exchanged without a word. “You guys ready?”She asked, holding the catheter in her hand.

Arizona took a big breath, and looked at Callie who was smiling at her widely. Callie seemed so happy, and though Arizona was just a bit nervous, she was excited too.

“Ready,” she said quietly, still looking at Callie.

“Hey, just keep looking at me the whole time,” Callie said as she could see the anxiety in the other woman’s eyes.

“Yeah I was planning on it,” Arizona said, smiling softly.  “This is so romantic,” she added.

“Oh, it’s the best!” Callie said mockingly.

“Tell me about your day?” Arizona asked softly.

“Pregnancy version of how was my day, or how was my day version of how was my day?” Callie asked teasingly.

“Tell me something, Calliope, anything!” Arizona said and winced as Addison inserted the catheter.

“Well, I actually wanted to ask you something,” Callie admitted.

“Uh oh. What is it? Because you’re making me nervous and that’s the opposite of what you’re supposed to be doing right now.”

“No, Arizona, it’s not a bad thing. I just wanted to ask if we could maybe stop by the lab once we’re done? I wanted to maybe make a few tweaks to the leg. You know, to make sure it’ll be at its best for the added weight.”

About a year and a half before, when they were finally friends again, Arizona asked if she could try one of Callie’s legs. Callie was shocked by the request, but also overjoyed. She knew it’ll improve Arizona’s life quality and she was glad the other woman felt comfortable enough to come and ask. It was also a perfect fit for the blonde.

“Oh, great!” Arizona said bitterly, “we are **already** thinking about the added weight, aren’t we?”

“Arizona, I just want to play it safe, okay?” Callie asked in concern.

“I kid, I kid,” Arizona said but Addison interrupted.

“Yeah, how does going home for some bed rest work with going to the lab and mess with your leg?” she asked skeptically, her eyebrow almost hitting the roof. She walked to the table to check the catheter under the microscope.

 “I’m sure you’re tired, and… fertilized or whatever… hopefully, so I understand if you’re not up for it. But just… soon, okay?” Callie rambled.

“I’m up for it, Calliope. And I still love that you’re being over protective.” 

“Still?” Callie asked challengingly.

“Well, yeah, it’s bound to get old in let’s say… two months time. Tops,” Arizona explained nonchalantly.

“We’ll see.”

“I guess we will.”

“In the meantime,” Callie started, “let’s get you to the lab. I’ll just let you lie down on the bed in the lab while I check the sensors. Okay?”

“Okay,” Arizona said softly.

“No deal!” Addison called from her table, spinning in her chair to look at the pair.

“Oh no, it didn’t transfer?” Arizona asked in concern.

“What? No!” Addison said, “it’s all good and in ten days we’ll see if your superstar eggs are ready for tour…”

“I lost you in that analogy,” Callie commented.

“ **But** , in the meantime,” Addison said annoyed at the interruption, “no going to labs or tweaking of sensors! Instead, there will be going to homes and lying on couches! Doctor’s orders!”

Callie and Arizona said nothing, but looked at Addison.

“Well,” Arizona challenged, “we’re not even sure the bed rest is necessary, studies show…”

“Arizona!” Addison yelled.

“Sir yes sir!” Arizona replied immediately, the marine instinct carved deep into her subconscious.

“You leave here, and go home to rest. Even if it’s just simple relaxing. Am I being clear?” Addison asked.

“Yes!” the women said simultaneously, knowing well that they will head to Callie’s lab the moment they were dismissed.

“Good. Now get out of my face, you crazy kids,” Addison said.

“What, that’s it?” Arizona asked in surprise.

“Yeah, rising star. Don’t you know that?” Addison teased.

“Well, you don’t have to tell **me** twice, coz this lady gotta pee!” Arizona said and hopped off the chair, grabbing Callie’s hand and pulling her out of the room quickly. “Bye!” she yelled without looking back.

“And no sex!” Addison called after them, peeking outside the room, looking down the hall at the fast disappearing women.

“That‘s not gonna be a problem!” Callie yelled behind her shoulder, and vanished with Arizona around a corner.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Addison said quietly and walked back into the room.

* * *

"We are being ridiculous, worrying about leg functionality with added pregnancy weight, due to a pregnancy that is totally hypothetical right now,” Arizona said, now back in her regular clothes, lying down on her back in the bed in Callie’s lab.

“Well, I like to be prepared,” Callie said as she was examining a sensor under a microscope.

“Also I can’t help but feel like we’re sneaking around during school hours,” Arizona said.

“And the principal’s office is one floor up,” Callie replied and looked up at Arizona who smiled at her.

“So what exactly are you doing?” Arizona asked in interest, leaning on her elbow to look at Callie and by that abandoning her previous position.

“Hey, on your back lady!” Callie said, making Arizona sigh and go back to lying down.

“But I’m bored! This is ridiculous! No one even knows for sure if bed rest helps!” Arizona whined.

“Hey,” Callie said softly and Arizona turned her head to look at her.

“What?”

“That’s my baby in there and I don’t want anything happening to my baby,” Callie said and winked.

Arizona smiled. “Yeah, that’s nice and all, but I’m still gonna need you to keep me entertained. Oh, mighty Harper Avery winner one, please explain to me what your magnificent brain is producing!” she said over dramatically.

“Shut up!” Callie said and burst into laughter, “I’m never gonna get anything done this way, and we’ll be stuck here forever, or worse, long enough for Addison to find us.”

“Okay, I’ll be quiet! Just… tell me what you’re doing? I miss watching you work. It’s fascinating to me,” Arizona admitted and Callie’s face softened.

“Okay,” Callie said, grabbed the sensor in her hand, walked to Arizona and sat on a chair by the bed.

“Thank you,” Arizona said and smiled.

Callie was examining her.

“You sure you don’t want me to get you scrubs?” Callie asked softly, “much more comfy!” She sounded like she was trying to sell a product on the shopping channel. It made Arizona giggle.

“I’m fine, Calliope, really,” she said and unbuttoned her pants, just in case. “Thanks for asking, though. Just tell me about the sensor.”

“Okay. So here’s the dilemma. The sensor I’m holding was designed for overweight women.”

“So? What’s the problem?”

“Well, the sensor also goes with a leg that is different in size. The technology has to match. I’m not one hundred percent sure what it’ll be like if I put this specific sensor with your leg,” Callie explained. “It might be brain stuff, Derek-y stuff.”

“Then why not just replace the leg with a bigger one?” Arizona asked in confusion.

“Because while you may gain weight, you’re not gonna get to the size of a person with let’s say… an obesity problem. You know?”

“Oh, I see what you mean,” Arizona said and crunched her eyebrows in concentration.

“This is actually really fascinating, Arizona. I never had an amputee patient who was pregnant. It’ll open a whole new world of possibilities. It can really help some people. Maybe even help women who were debating whether or not to get pregnant make a decision. It’s very exciting!” Callie said with enthusiasm.

“Well, I’m happy to be your first,” Arizona said teasingly, “and also give my body to science and blah blah blah.”

“Why science appreciates your sacrifice, m’lady!” Callie said and got back up to walk to the table.

“So one option would be to create a whole new sensor and leg that will fit your pregnancy. Maybe something a bit more adjustable than usual so we can change a bit when needed,” Callie explained, “both the leg **and** the sensor.”

“Do you think you’ll have enough time to build a whole new leg?”

“Well,” Callie started, “if it the transfer took,”

“It took,” Arizona interrupted her.

“Okay, so, yeah. We probably have about three months before you start to show, at which point the weight will become an issue. It should be enough time, I think. I need to talk to Derek as well. I’m just mad at myself for not thinking about it sooner. I mean, it’s been two months since we started discussing all of this.”

“Callie, come on, don’t be that way. Yeah, it might’ve been two months, but it’s been two months of talks, and preparations, and injections, and meetings, and moving you in, please don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“Yeah, but then there’s another thing,” Callie said.

“What is it?” Arizona asked in concern.

“This is a bit experimental, and the last thing I wanna do is to experiment on the mother of my unborn child,” Callie explained.

“Well, you’ll make the leg, and if worse comes to worst, I’ll go back to this one, and it’ll just have to be a bit tight in that socket for a while.”

“It’ll be uncomfortable, Arizona.”

“Then I’ll go back to a simple prosthesis, or use a chair when I need to.”

“You will **not** use a chair, Arizona. You hate the chair,” Callie said.

“Right, I do. But I don’t think we’ll get to that. You’ll build that leg, and it’ll be amazing, because you are amazing, and we’ll learn from my experience with it, and we’ll do it together, like we’re doing everything else. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Callie said and visibly relaxed. She put the sensor down, took a notebook, and started writing.

“Do you really think it worked?” she asked softly, breaking the silence.

“Yes,” Arizona replied in confidence.

“How can you be so sure?” Callie asked, and looked up from the notebook to meet Arizona’s gaze.

“It would work because we really, **really** want it to,” Arizona explained like it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Yeah, well, when did **that** ever work before?” Callie asked, bitterly.

“Never. That’s exactly the point. The world is in debt to us, and we’re gonna cash it today.”

They smiled at one another and Callie went back to writing.

“What are you doing?” Arizona asked.

“Listing the things I need to order. After all, I’m starting to build a new leg tomorrow, haven’t you heard?”

Arizona smiled at her widely. “Awesome,” she said simply.

“Awesome indeed. But now I’m done, and I can email this from anywhere, so, ready to go home so I can spoil you?” Callie asked softly.

“ **So** ready to go home,” Arizona said, and hopped off excitedly, for the second time that day.

* * *

 **A/N** : Medicine research is hard, you guys. I should hire one of those experts working for Grey’s. I’ve read a lot, and talked to relevant friends, so I hope this makes sense. Please forgive any factual errors. I want to clarify that it’s usually not recommended to start with IVF treatment. Usually you start with the IUI procedure that is basically the insemination and way less intrusive. My reasoning for Callie and Arizona choosing the IVF, is: 1. Their ages. At this point they are probably at their late 30s if not early 40s (who ever knows with this show). 2. The fact that Arizona been through a miscarriage before when she tried what I believe was an insemination. 3. They are the owners of the hospital, and employees. Financially, they can probably choose whichever option they want, and lastly, 4. I very much like the idea that Arizona doesn’t want sperm swimming inside of her. I mean, did you see how the girl reacted to an exposed penis? No. I feel like if sperm must be involved, she’d very much prefer it in the form of an embryo. Hope you liked this somewhat medical chapter! 


	4. Chapter 4

Callie heard the door open and then close and turned around to see Arizona walk in from another long day at the office.

“Hey you!” she greeted, “I’m glad you’re back relatively early. I was just starting to make dinner. Any special requests?” she asked as she turned back to continue the preparations.

“No thanks. Hey, Callie?” the other woman said, urgency in her voice.

“How was your day?” Callie asked softly, completely oblivious to Arizona’s state.

“I need to pee,” Arizona said which made Callie stop what she was doing and turn around.

“Oh…kay? Don’t let me interrupt you.”

“No, Callie, I need to pee, and you need to come with me.”

“What, you need me to encourage you?” Callie asked jokingly.

“Hmm… I did a thing,” Arizona said.

“What did you do?”

“Ta da!” Arizona said as she took out a pregnancy test and showed it to Callie.

“Oh, come on Arizona. I flew Addie in especially so we can see her tomorrow!” Callie protested. She wanted to do things the right way.

“Calliope, it’s been 2 weeks. Do I look like someone who can wait any longer?!” Arizona asked, irritation evident in her voice.

Callie sighed. “No, you do not. But you could’ve just gotten blood tested at the hospital.”

“No, I wanted to do this with you, so… come pee with me.”

“You mean come stand by the door while you pee and then wait with you for the results, yes?”

“Yes, same, whatever, just come,” Arizona said and hurried down the hallway and into the bathroom.

“Well, if her mood is any indication to hormonal activity…” Callie said to herself and followed the other woman.

By the time she got to the bathroom, Arizona was already sitting outside, staring hard at the stick in her hands.

“Hmm… you do know you need to actually pee on it for it to show anything, right?” Callie asked teasingly.

“I already did,” Arizona deadpanned.

“What?!” Callie asked in shock, “I was maybe thirty seconds behind you. How the hell did you…”

Arizona’s face snapped up, and her eyes bored into Callie’s.

“I drank a ridiculous amount of water in the past four hours, I didn’t go to the bathroom once, **and** I’m super efficient. So that’s that,” she said and went back to stare at the stick.

“Staring at it won’t make it work faster, Arizona.”

“Shut up. Three hundred more seconds to go.”

“You’ve been counting?” Callie asked in a disapproving tone which made Arizona look up at her again.

“Well, I’ve been **trying**. But you keep interrupting me, and now I lost my count. Thanks a lot, Calliope!”

“You’re totally pregnant,” Callie said.

“What? Shut up. How can you tell?”

“Because you’re acting like a crazy mess,” Callie explained.

“I am **not**! Am I?” Arizona asked in worry.

“Just a little bit, but that’s okay. Because it helped me distract you,” Callie said and smiled softly, which got her a soft smile in return.

“I’m sorry,” Arizona said, “I just really want this,” she admitted.

“You do? I couldn’t tell,” Callie said sarcastically, but it just won her another smile from the other woman.

They knew it wasn’t much longer now, and both turned to look at the stick until eventually, the result appeared and Arizona gasped.

For a second, neither one said anything.

“It’s… it’s a plus sign, Calliope!” Arizona said excitedly and jumped off the chair to hug the other woman. “It’s a plus sign! I can’t believe it! I mean… I knew it!”

Callie didn’t hug her back, just stood stiffly in her arms until the other woman took a step back to look at Callie in confusion. Her smile faded.

“You look shocked, why do you look shocked?! Look lively and happy, **right** now!” Arizona demanded, which made Callie snap out of her reverie.

“Relax, Arizona! You just sorta sprung this on me! I wasn’t prepared to deal with this emotionally until tomorrow!”

“What?! You were all like ‘oh, you’re totally pregnant,’ ‘crazy mess’ and stuff!”

“I was joking! You are always a bit of a crazy mess!” Callie countered and Arizona glared at her.

“But in an adorable way!” Callie said immediately and Arizona’s features softened.

“But… you are happy, right?” Arizona asked, her voice vulnerable.

A huge smile spread on Callie’s face.

“Are you kidding me?” she replied and started laughing in joy, grabbing the other woman in a tight hug as they both laughed together.

“I’m taking you out to dinner! We need to celebrate!” Callie said excitedly as she let go of the hug.

“But you already started making dinner…” Arizona noted.

“Who cares?! All I did was chop some onions. I’m taking you somewhere fancy!”

“Should we take Sof too?” Arizona asked, a huge smile on her face.

“Maybe we should wait a bit with telling her? Just so we don’t jinx it?” Callie asked, wanting Arizona’s opinion rather than stating a fact.

“Great, awesome,” the blonde said, “it’ll just give us an excuse to go out for another dinner!”

“Yay!” Callie said, finding the other woman’s excitement contagious. “I can call Mer and ask if we can drop Sofia for like, a couple of hours.”

“Great. That way we’ll only feel slightly guilty for already abandoning our firstborn,” Arizona said and they both laughed.

“Where should we go?” Arizona asked in excitement. With everything that was rapidly changing in her lives, she hardly had the time to go out anymore. The possibilities seemed endless.

“How about we go back to the same place where we had ‘the talk’. This is where this whole thing started, after all.”

“That’s a perfect idea, Calliope. I love it!”

“Then it’s a ‘mommies-to-be’ date?” Callie asked and took Arizona’s hands in hers.

“It’s a ‘mommies-to-be’ date!” Arizona confirmed in excitement before taking Callie into her arms for another hug.

* * *

“Oh, the joy I am gonna experience watching you having to give up on coffee!” Callie said and added a fake evil laughter for good measure.

They were sitting at the same restaurant where they decided to have another baby together. Only this time, there was no tension, or anxiety, or lack of time other than eventually picking Sofia up. They were relaxed, and happy, and Arizona actually had a chance to look at the menu, at which point she realized she can’t have wine. That realization made her pout, and that pout triggered Callie’s evil outburst.

“Don’t be mean, Calliope. I am carrying your child! And I already had to give this all up once!” Arizona protested.

“Oh! Vendetta is a beautiful thing!” Callie said and leaned back in triumph. “Sweet sweet revenge is mine!”

“You say that now, but just wait until I get cranky due to caffeine withdraws. I know where you live,” Arizona warned.

“I will be there for you at your worst, whiney, caffeine-less times,” Callie promised and smiled.

“Okay, but I’m gonna have one cup a day,” Arizona demanded, “vagina vote!”

“Funny how I recall we decided there’s no such thing as a vagina vote last time,” Callie countered.

“What happens behind closed doors at an empty on call room… stays behind closed doors at an empty on call room,” Arizona said vaguely, “what you don’t know, can’t hurt you.”

“Don’t make me put an ankle monitor on you or a bell around your neck,” Callie warned and they both laughed.

“Hey, Callie? Can I ask you something serious?” Arizona asked quietly.

“Sure, Arizona, you can ask me anything. What is it?” Callie asked in concern.

“Hmm… are you okay with this? I mean… with me carrying? Is it hard for you to see because… you know… because you can’t…” Arizona wasn’t sure how to finish asking her question.

Callie took Arizona’s hand in hers over the table and started to stroke it lightly with her thumb.

“Arizona, I’m really happy for you. For getting to experience something I didn’t think I’ll get to see you experience. I know how much you wanted this. I’ve had one pregnancy and though I was sad for a while that I couldn’t do it again, I was also grateful I got to experience it in the first place. And I also realized it didn’t mean I could never be a mother again. And see? Here I am, about to be a mother again!”

“Yes, you are,” Arizona replied with a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes, and Callie noticed.

“Hey,” she said softly, “I’m really happy and I can’t wait to see you going through this pregnancy. I’m absolutely overjoyed. Do you believe me?”

“Yes,” Arizona said immediately and Callie smiled at her as their food arrived.

“This smells amazing,” Arizona said.

“Enjoy it now. You can throw it up tomorrow.”

* * *

“We don’t need you, Addison! We already know we’re having a baby!” Arizona announced happily as she waltzed into the examination room. Callie, walking behind her, chose to walk into the room like a normal person would.

“Well it’s nice to see you too, Arizona! Always so welcoming!” Addison said sarcastically.

“Ignore her,” Callie said softly, “she can’t turn this smile off since yesterday.”

“She shouldn’t have to,” Addison said with a smile. “So I take it you couldn’t wait?”

“Nope!” Arizona said, pointing between her legs as if to urge Addison to get closer. “Come on, lady! Come tell me what I already know!”

Addison chuckled at the overly eager woman, shaking her head from side to side, but approached the chair nonetheless.

Callie took her place by Arizona’s side, **and** her hand, as Addison put gloves on and held a syringe.

“You do know Callie could’ve taken your blood right?” Addison asked.

“How would she be holding my hand if she was drawing blood?” Arizona asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well, any other doctor in this hospital for that matter. I just want to put it out there that you flew me in simply to take Arizona’s blood.”

“Noted, and understood,” Callie said. “We’ll go to someone at the hospital for the next ones, but just for today, I don’t know, rub her belly and make sure everything’s okay… or something.”

“What am I, Buddha?” Arizona asked in annoyance as Addison took her blood.

“Yes, apparently,” she said, “a cute, blonde, blue eyed Buddha. All done!” she took the syringe out, and rubbed Arizona’s belly, to the other woman’s dismay.

“How are you feeling?” Callie asked Arizona softly.

“I’m good, Calliope. Just ready to put the science’s seal of approval on this baby.”

“Okay,” Addison said as she took the gloves off.  “You’re good to go. So book that next flying ticket for let’s say… five weeks for a first ultrasound?”

“Yay!” Arizona said excitedly and got off the chair.

“She won’t be saying that once the morning sickness starts,” Addison said to Callie who in return laughed lightly.

“Okay,” Arizona said, “I have a surgery in twenty, and I wanna change and drop the test tubes by the lab. I’ll make sure they do it ASAP. You good here?” she asked Callie.

“Yeah, you go. I’ll hang with Addie for a bit. I don’t have surgery for another two hours.”

“Awesome! I’ll see you later, Calliope!” Arizona said, dropped a kiss on Callie’s cheek, and flew out of the room without noticing the surprise and slight blush on Callie’s face.

“Yeah, Calliope, see you later,” Addison said once Arizona was out of earshot.

“What?” Callie said in a warning tone.

“No one calls you that.”

“She does. She always has.”

“Yeah, back when you were married,” Addison pointed.

“Well, she’s my best friend,” Callie reasoned.

“That you’re playing house with.”

“You think we’re crazy for doing this, don’t you?” Callie asked, no anger in her voice, just genuine interest.

“No, no, I swear. I think it’s actually very smart for two people who get along well and want another child to do what you two are doing,” Addison admitted.

“Well, then what’s the problem?” Callie asked in confusion.

“No problem. I just think that you two are doing more than just ‘get along well’ and I personally think it’s great.”

“Nothing’s going on,” Callie said quickly.

“Okay,” Addison replied vaguely.

“I know that tone.”

“Let’s grab lunch.”

“Addison!”

“What?! I’m flying out later tonight! Treat your friend who takes care of your baby… both of them, to something better than the crappy cafeteria food!”

“You are unbelievable!”

“If by that you mean extraordinary I totally agree,” Addison said and left the room, fully expecting her friend to follow her footsteps.

* * *

Three hours later, when Arizona finished her surgery, she stopped by the lab to pick the results.

“Yay!” she said when she saw yet another positive outcome, and started to do a little victory dance right there in the middle of the hallway, before taking her phone out and texting Callie.

_It’s another positive, hot mama! See you at home! XO_

Callie, who came out of the OR an hour later, after the depressing rare event of losing a patient in an ortho procedure, saw the text and couldn’t help but smile.

A life ends, but a new life begins. An awful news had to be delivered, but good ones just came in. So is the circle of life.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N** : This chapter will mention something called “Muenke Syndrom.” Explanation would be provided in bottom A/N. To avoid spoilers, I’d recommend scrolling down to the A/N once you actually get to the mention of the syndrome. Just a friendly suggestion : ) Do what you want. I’m not the boss of you!

* * *

“Hey, Arizona, can I talk to you for a minute?” Jackson Avery asked as he bumped into Arizona. He seemed uncomfortable.

It was a nice day. Relatively quiet and she managed to successfully avoid her ex-wife all morning, just like she’s been doing for the majority of the last year and a half. She was in a good mood and she had a feeling that whatever it was that Jackson wanted to discuss with her, was sure to put a damper on her mood. She couldn’t have been more right.

“What is it Jackson?”

“Hmm… I have a 4 months old baby with a Muenke syndrome coming in today,” he said, still seeming anxious.

“Oh, wow, you’re gonna operate on him?”

“Yes, and, hmmm… Derek and I are assisting. You see? His family, they, hmm, they’re flying in the craniofacial surgeon that they’ve worked with to run the surgery.”

“Oh?” Arizona said, still not sure what it had to do with her. And then, just like that, she **was** sure what it had to do with her. “Oh.” She said.

“Yeah.”

“So what you are saying it…”

“That Doctor Lauren Boswell should be here in about an hour. I wanted to give you a heads up.”

“Couldn’t you have given me a heads up like a week ago?”

“Well, Derek and I took a vote and thought maybe it wasn’t the best idea.”

“How very kind of you.”

“Would it have made a difference?” he asked softly.

“Probably not. I’d feel just as emotionally unprepared as I’m feeling now,” she admitted.

“I’m really sorry,” he said and squeezed her arm. Then, he left.

‘Great,’ she thought, ‘now there’s another person I’m  gonna have to try and avoid.’

She had no idea what to feel, or what to think, and as she turned around to go towards the attendings’ lounge, she found Callie standing right in front of her, with her mouth open in shock, and hurt extremely evident in her eyes. She heard the whole thing, Arizona realized.

“Callie,” she tried, but the other woman practically flew out of there before Arizona had a chance to say anything else.

* * *

“I will not encounter Lauren Boswell today, I will not encounter Lauren Boswell today, I will **not** encounter Lauren Boswell today,” Arizona repeated like a mantra. She was laying with her hand covering her eyes, on a bed in a dark on call room, hoping that if she’ll repeat the words long enough (and also keep hiding in the room for the rest of the day) she **will** willed them true.

For the past two hours she considered looking for Callie, but what would she even say? She could see the hurt in Callie’s eyes, and it mattered to her, and she hated that it mattered to her. Eighteen months and two relationships later, and it still mattered to her. Loving Callie or not, she didn’t want to see her hurt. So she wanted to tell her something, anything, but she felt like it was one of these moments in which talking might just make everything worse.

The door opened, and for a moment she thought it was Callie, that Callie wanted to talk, too.

“Arizona!” an excited, sadly familiar voice said.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Arizona said, keeping her hand on her eyes, thinking that fate was a bitch.

“I’ve been looking all over for you,” Lauren said.

“Well, that was a waste of your time because I was hiding from you.” The only thing worse than encountering Lauren Boswell today, was to encountering Lauren Boswell today, alone, in an on call room, when the rest of the gossipy hospital, and her ex-wife, were only one thin wall away. Nope. That will not do.

“Why?” Lauren asked. “Rumors are you aren’t married anymore, and haven’t been for quite some time.”

Arizona groaned. She got up, passed by Lauren without saying a word, straight out of the room and into the hallway. She was walking fast, but Lauren caught up to her.

“What was that all about?” the other woman asked.

“Seriously? Leave me alone, doctor Boswell.”

“Hmm… I think the time we spent together means you can call me Lauren, you know.”

“I don’t want to,” Arizona said sternly, still walking, trying to shake the other woman off. It didn’t work.

“Hey, hey, Arizona! Can you just, stop for a second and look at me?”

“I can’t look at you,” Arizona said.

“Why not?” Lauren asked and made Arizona stop dead in her place and finally turn to her.

“Are you really asking me this?” Arizona asked bitterly.

“I don’t understand. Are you mad at me?”

“Of course I am!”

“Well… why?”

“You know why!” Arizona yelled and then lowered her voice. “You know why.” She repeated quietly.

“Come on, be fair. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. And I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do,” Lauren countered.

“And what makes you think I’m not mad at myself, too?”

Lauren wasn’t sure what to say, so she just stared at Arizona.

“Arizona, I really liked you back then. I **still** like you, please don’t think…”

“Stop. Just stop it.” Arizona cut her off. “Maybe you didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do. But that was the **only** second in which I wanted to do it. I spend every other second afterwards regretting it. Not to mention, you have **no idea** in what state I was when you met me. Whether you meant to or not, you took advantage of me. And yes, I let you. Congratulations, we both suck.” Arizona concluded and turned around.

“I want to talk about this some more,” Lauren said but Arizona ignored her and was about to start walking again.

“Will you at least come watch the surgery?” Lauren asked before Arizona had the chance to leave.

Arizona turned around to look at Lauren again. She wanted to be as clear as possible.

“I will absolutely **not** come watch the surgery,” she said.

“Come on, Arizona, a neonatal **and** a pediatric surgeon? It’s a four months old baby! You have to come! You’re gonna really like this surgery!” Lauren said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Maybe. But I don’t like the girl who does the surgery,” Arizona said, turned around, and finally started walking again, just in time to see Callie down the hall, staring at them. When she met Arizona’s eyes she made a beeline into the closest room.

“How many more times is this gonna happen today?” Arizona hissed and decided to follow the brunette this time, ignoring Lauren, who was still calling her name.

She followed Callie into the room and shut the door behind her, finding the other woman pacing, fuming. Also sniffling. When she noticed Arizona her eyes were raging fire and it made Arizona wince.

“So that escalated quickly, ah?” she said bitterly.

“Callie…”

“I mean, this morning, when I saw you talking to Avery, I thought to myself ‘she wouldn’t, would she?’ but it’s been two hours. **Two hours** , Arizona!”

“We were just talking, Callie.” They might have not been together for a year and a half, but Arizona knew her ex-wife well enough to know she had to wait it out. She’s going to have to let Callie get it all out, before the other woman would be ready to listen.

“Just talking? With **that** woman? **Now** it’s talking, but then what? Ah? You guys will see each other? And and and get married? And this… **woman** will be around **my** child?!”

Arizona sighed, and put both her hands on the other woman’s shoulders to stop her rumbling and get her attention. It was the first time she touched her since the last time they slept together. It was the most words they’ve said to one another since then as well.

“Callio… Callie, stop,” she said, and after a few deep breaths Callie finally looked at her. “I am promising you right now… I will **never** be with this woman again.” She was trying to convey as much sincerity as she could. Her eyes weren’t as expressive as Callie’s, so she always had to try harder to let the other woman know she absolutely meant what she was saying.

“Really?” Callie asked and Arizona could see the genuine hurt in those oh so expressive eyes.

“Really. This woman reminds me of the worst thing I’ve ever done, of my biggest regret. Even if it weren’t for my will to not hurt you, she and I could never work. Anything we could’ve been would be born out of something I wish never happened. I can’t even look at her without feeling self loathing,” Arizona concluded, hoping beyond hope Callie would believe her.

Callie sighed and sniffled. “Okay,” she finally said.

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“I will never do that to you. Do you believe me?” Arizona asked, letting herself be vulnerable, too.

Callie hesitated for a moment before saying “Of course I do, Arizona.”

Arizona sighed in relief, but then she realized that even though the timing wasn’t ideal, there was something she had to add.

“But Callie, there **will** be other people. There already were.”

“I know, Arizona. Just not… this one.”

“Never this one.”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that.”

“I do. You don’t owe me anything,” Callie said honestly.

“That’s simply not true, Callie. I owe you respect, at the least,” Arizona said and Callie nodded in sad understanding.

“It could’ve been worse, I could’ve been with her on that case,” Callie said.

“I’m sorry,” Arizona said in pain, and she really meant it.

“I forgave you for this a long time ago. You don’t need to apologize to me about this ever again, or to yourself,” Callie said sincerely.

Arizona nodded, and Callie got up, sniffled one more time, gave Arizona a half hearted smile, and exited the room. And it’s a good thing she did, too, because the situation was becoming too suffocating for both of them.

* * *

“Why did I agree to do this?” Arizona asked as she was vomiting into the basin. Callie was holding her hair, and rubbing her back gently.

“Agreed to do this? It was practically an ultimatum!” she countered.

“You should have stopped me!”

“I was selfish, I wanted a baby,” Callie said and shrugged.

“You are taking advantage of my uterus,” Arizona said, hurling again.

“You weren’t like this the first time you were pregnant. Not this bad I mean.”

“Thanks for pointing that out,” Arizona said bitterly.

“Tea?” Callie asked softly, still rubbing Arizona’s back, trying to give her as much comfort as possible.

“Yes, please,” the blonde said and Callie started to get up. “Wait, later. Stay with me,” she asked and Callie gladly agreed.

“Is there anything else I can do?” Callie asked in concern, “do you want Sofia’s rainbow mermaid drawing?” Callie kept that drawing ever since her malpractice lawsuit, and once she and Arizona were on friendly terms again, they passed it back and forth whenever one of them had a bad day. Sofia was old enough for it to start embarrassing her, but it didn’t stop the proud mothers and it was currently attached to their fridge.

“Mmm… thank you, but I like to sit on the floor some more, it’s cold and nice, and I want company. I’m gonna look at it once I get up for the tea I was promised.”

“As you wish,” Callie said with a soft smile and sat down. Arizona put her arm on the basin and leaned her head on it, while Callie was leaning with her back against the closed door.  When they were both around for Arizona’s morning sickness, Callie hurried after her to comfort her, and shut the door. They didn’t want to scare Sofia.

“Hey, Arizona? Can I ask you something?” Callie said, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Of course, Calliope.”

“So this girl asked me out, I just wanted to double check with you if that’s okay?” Callie said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Arizona asked. After all, it was never a problem before.

“No reason.”

“Exactly,” Arizona said and smiled at the other woman.

“Okay, good.”

“Wait,” Arizona said as realization hit her, she raised her head, “what if you two want to… you know?”

“Woah, we’re not even close to be there yet,” Callie said.

“Yes but hypothetically. Are we actually bringing people over?” Arizona asked, not sure herself what the etiquette was.

“It’s your house Arizona. I’m not gonna bring people to your house. I can always use Mark’s place. **If** I even need to,” Callie said with nothing but respect.

“It’s your house too,” Arizona responded immediately.

“Look, I know my name is technically still on the title, but…”

“No, Callie, I mean… for the duration of your stay here, it’s only fair… what I’m trying to say is - I want you to feel like it’s your house too. I want you to feel at home,” Arizona said softly.

“Okay,” Callie said, a wide smile appearing on her face. She was spending every night with her little girl, she was enjoying her best friend’s company, and there was another child joining their lives soon. Why wouldn’t she feel at home?

“God why would someone even **want** to get involved in this mess?” Arizona asked suddenly, referring to their living arrangement and general situation.

“Hmm…Because we are ridiculously hot?” Callie stated the obvious.

“That’s a very valid point.”

“You sure you’re okay with this?” Callie checked again.

“I am. Do you believe me?”

“Hmm…”

“You’re not supposed to hesitate, Callie! That’s against the rules! The only time you ever hesitated…”

“I know! I know!” Callie cut her off, “I’m Sorry! Yes, I believe you, of course I believe you!”

“Good. I think I’m ready for my tea and rainbow mermaid now,” Arizona said.

Callie stood up and gave Arizona a hand.

“One herbal tea and one rainbow mermaid coming right up!”

* * *

Arizona was standing in the hallway, looking at Callie through the conference room’s window. It’s been a few hours since they had their Lauren talk.

She finally decided to walk in.

“I’d like to suggest a rule” Arizona said as she walked into the room.

“What?” Callie asked in confusion.

Arizona couldn’t stop thinking about their talk from earlier. Seeing Callie so distraught, so vulnerable, made her realize she wasn’t the only one who was still hurting. Not by a long shot. She also realized that it was bound to happen again. That things from their past **would** hurt them in their present. Because even though they broke up, they never really talked things through. They sort of just… dissolved. And that conversation earlier, it was a little breakthrough.

Count your blessings, she thought.

 “In light of recent events,” she started, determined to do her entire pitch uninterrupted, “and considering that maybe at some point we can be more than just… acquaintances… well, let’s make a pact right now, that if one of us asks the other if she believes her, the other one has to say yes. She can’t hesitate before saying so. She has to say it straight away. Okay?”

“Hmmm… what…”

“So if I ask you if you believe me, it’s my way of swearing to you that I’m telling the truth. You need to know that I truly mean it, and vice versa. And you, in return, have to believe me, no questions asked, no buts. That’s how we’ll always know.”

Callie looked at her for a long moment in contemplation, letting the idea sink in. Maybe getting to the same conclusions Arizona did, maybe even willing to dream they will be friends again, some day.

“So if we do this,” she finally started, “it’s so we have no doubts?”

“And so that we know that it has to be the absolute truth, and we can trust that, and count on that,” Arizona concluded.

“Okay, then,” Callie said and Arizona allowed herself to smile around Callie for the first time in more than a year.

“Deal?” she asked, but didn’t move, or offered her hand for a shake. She just stood there, as did Callie.

“Deal,” Callie said and allowed herself a small smile as well.

“Awesome!” Arizona said, and made Callie smile grew to a big, genuine one.

Then, Arizona turned around, and left the room without another word.

* * *

**A/N** 2: So, Muenke Syndrom, condition characterized by the premature closure of certain bones of the skull during development, which affects the shape of the head and face. The syndrome is inherited genetically, and many times having it, means that the skull doesn’t grow, not leaving enough room for the brain, can cause eyesight loss, etc. Treatment usually means correction of the abnormal skull’s shape, and surgery plans changes based on the specific case.

For regular people – I hope you enjoyed learning something new like I did.

For medical people – I hope this wasn’t completely inaccurate!

Lastly, I love their little pact. Go back and you’ll find that it’s already been used before : )


	6. Chapter 6

 

“Why can’t you just have the same cravings as last time?! Callie asked in frustration. It was 2 AM and Callie fell asleep only an hour before after coming back from a sixteen hours shift. Not an hour later is when Arizona burst into her room.

“This baby likes chocolate, Calliope. He likes chocolate and there’s nothing I can do about it except for gaining a gazillion pounds!”

“You will **not** gain a gazillion pounds ,Arizona. You don’t even know how many zeros gazillion has!” Callie countered.

“That’s coz it’s not a real number, Callie!” Arizona said, agitated.

 “What does the baby feel like tonight?” Callie asked softly, amused by Arizona’s little melt down.

“The baby feels like soufflé,” Arizona stated.

“Oh, does he now?”

“Yes. **She’s** kicking me in Morse code, saying ‘soufflé’.”  Until they know the gender of the baby, they agreed to rotate between referring to it as a ‘he’ and a ‘she.’

“It’s way too early for the baby to kick, Arizona.”

“This baby is special, she knows it, and she lets **us** know it by Morse kicking at week eight, that she wants soufflé.”

“Probably **just** got her legs,” Callie mumbled quietly.

“What was that, Calliope?” Arizona asked in a challenging tone.

“Nothing! Let me see what we’ve got,” Callie said and turned to look at the cupboard. She stocked on chocolaty things in the past couple of weeks, once Arizona started showing signs of cravings. But actually baking a soufflé from scratch at 2 AM might’ve been a bit of a stretch.

“Okay, we have most of it, but actually not enough chocolate,” Callie said, trying to figure out what to do.

“Sorry,” Arizona said in shame, “I finished the last two bars earlier when you were at work,” she admitted.

“You really don’t need to apologize, Arizona. You are pregnant.”

“I’m a monster!” Arizona declared.

“Right, a chocolate monster. Doesn’t sound all that bad,” Callie said softly.

“It really doesn’t. Does it?”

“Nope.”

“So… no soufflé?”  Arizona asked innocently.

“Are you kidding?” Callie said and walked towards the door. “My baby is Morse kicking. This kid is getting his soufflé.” She took her jacket off the hanger and put it on.

“Hmm… Calliope, there’s a slight chance I’m actually the one who wants the soufflé and not the baby,” Arizona said. She felt bad about sending the other woman out in the middle of the night. If they were married, sure, things would’ve been different in terms of do and don’ts. But she kept wanting and needing things and Callie kept making sure she gets them. It warmed her heart, but also didn’t help with the guilt.

“I know,” Callie said softly, “I’m just gonna have to take that chance,” she winked and shut the door behind her.

* * *

Callie was back forty minutes later, thanking her lucky star for 24/7 supermarkets.

Arizona was sitting on the couch, reading a book.

“Please tell me you still want this?” Callie asked.

“You have no idea,” Arizona replied and they both smiled. “Oh, what I meant was… baby is still Morse kicking.”

“Right,” Callie said and started to take out the ingredients. As she did, she caught a glimpse of the photo on the fridge from their first ultrasound, only one week prior. It wasn’t much, but it made her smile. Arizona was watching her reaction and smiled as well.

“Look at what we did,” Arizona said and made Callie look at her.

“It might just be a little ovaly thing,” Callie said, “but it’s **our** ovaly thing.”

“I don’t know if I can wait three more months for another ultrasound,” Arizona admitted.

“You don’t have to. We can go around week 15 if you want. Heck, we can go every freaking week. It’s our hospital, you know.”

They smiled, and as Arizona went back to her book, Callie started making the soufflé. They just existed in comfortable silence, like they’ve done so many times before.

Callie hummed a little tune while working. She might have been awake and making soufflé at 3 AM, but life was good.

It took her about twenty minutes to finish the preparations, and then she finally put the baking dish in the oven. She knew she did good, and she was simply happy to make Arizona (and by that the baby) happy.

“Okay, all done. Thirty more minutes in the oven, and that’s it” she said and turned around to find Arizona dead to the world.

“Oooooof course,” Callie said to no one in particular.

She gave herself a moment to look at Arizona. The other woman actually fell asleep with a smile on her face. Her body was going through so many changes, yet Arizona herself was almost carefree, Callie realized.

Callie had noticed that over the past two years. How every day brought more and more of the old Arizona back. Their breakup has been rough. They had to force themselves to stay out of each other’s way, no matter how much they wanted to jump back into their previous, unhealthy situation. The beginning was the hardest, but Callie noticed that Arizona pushed through, she was a real trooper, but this, right here, was different. In those first two years, Arizona was surviving, just like Callie did. Arizona was forcing herself to make it day by day. But the last two years were different. Arizona started living again. Callie knew it was even before that. She knew Arizona had a five months long relationship a year after they broke up, and she knew it helped her get some of her self esteem and joy back. But again, it wasn’t the same as how Arizona started to behave again two years ago. It wasn’t the same as how she was now, on that couch.

Maybe she was just over thinking it and the whole thing was due to the fact that Arizona was glowing.

“God, I’m such a cliché,” Callie said to herself quietly.

She went into Arizona’s bedroom to pick her comforter, went back to the living room and made sure Arizona was tucked.

“Good night, honey,” she said and stood guard until the soufflé was ready.

* * *

The wonderful smell that seemed to be floating all around her gently pulled Arizona out of her sleep. At first, she wasn’t sure where she was, but a second later a bed tray was put in front of her face.

“Hey,” a soft familiar voice said quietly, “Mornin’. I heard you stirring.”

A few more seconds and she finally realized she was on the couch, and Callie was in front of her. She finally set up.

“Hmmmm… mornin’,” she said and yawned. “Where’s Sofia? And what smells so go?”

“Sof is still sleeping,” Callie said. It was a Saturday morning and their child, all grown up now, loved her weekend sleep. “And as for the smell, it’s breakfast.”

“Why are you even up?” Arizona asked. Between her cravings, the crazy hours Callie had at work, especially with her new research, and Sofia, Arizona couldn’t figure out why the other woman would pass on a chance to sleep in.

“Because I wanted to make you breakfast, silly,” Callie said and Arizona’s face broke into a smile. Callie was taking such a good care of her.

“Besides,” Callie added, “someone wanted a soufflé last night.”

“Oh, shit! I totally fell asleep on you. Didn’t I?”

“You did. Like the good old pregnant lady that you are.”

“I’m so sorry!” Arizona said, feeling horrible. First, she sends Callie out at 2 AM, **then** she falls asleep while Callie’s making what **she** asked for. Worst best friend ever, she thought.

“You really don’t need to apologize, Arizona. You’re just gonna have to eat it now instead,” Callie said.

“Is that what I’m smelling?” Arizona asked and closed her eyes to enjoy the sensation.

“It is. I kept it in the oven all night and just did some reheating a while ago. But that’s desert, Arizona.”

“Then what’s for breakfast?” Arizona asked in confusion.

“Your healthiest favorite thing!” Callie announced excitedly.

“Salad?” Arizona asked and winced.

“A salad…made of pancakes!”  Callie said and made Arizona smile.

“You are such a dork. This child is gonna have an obesity problem before he’s even born,” Arizona concluded.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. We’re being good, but every now and then, you just need to enjoy a ridiculous, unhealthy meal,” Callie assured.

“Is that what the doctor said?” Arizona asked with a smirk.

“Hey, right now, I’m Callie,” the other woman said and smiled as she got up to grab Arizona’s food.

Arizona looked at her tray and finally noticed there was a flower in a little vase placed on it. She looked around her and saw a few more flowers in different vases around the living room. She smiled softly.

“When did you even have the chance to get flowers?” she asked and made Callie turn.

“Last night, when I got the chocolate. You were so engrossed in your book when I walked in, you didn’t even notice,” Callie said and Arizona smiled again at how considerate the other woman was.

“Are you gonna eat with me?” Arizona asked.

“Of course! And read the paper. How else is this gonna look like the perfect picture of a lazy Saturday morning?”

“Good point. We should leave some for Sof. She’ll be so upset if she finds out she missed mommy’s superb soufflé.”

“You haven’t even tried it yet, Arizona.”

“I’ve had you’re soufflé before, Callie.”

“Yes, you have,” Callie said and approached the counter.

“Wait, are you talking about pound cake right now?” Arizona asked.

“Maybe,” Callie said casually. “And don’t worry,” she said and turned around again, “even the pregnant version of you can’t finish this entire tray. Sofia is safe.”

“Thank you, Calliope.”

“Anytime, Arizona.”


	7. Chapter 7

“So, how far along are you guys?” Meredith asked.

“11 weeks. The cartilage is starting to become bone now,” Callie answered excitedly.

“Of course that’s what you’d care about,” Meredith said with a smirk while Callie took a bite from her food.

They had four hours before they had to enter the OR together, and they sat down for their weekly cheeseburger date, a tradition which was formed long ago.

“It’s amazing that you two are doing this together,” Meredith added. “I’ve been thinking that for a while. It’ll be great for Sofia, and great for the baby.”

“I know, right? I mean, I sure hope so. Do you know how crazy it would’ve been if Mark was around? Don’t get me wrong, it would’ve been amazing, too, but imagine Arizona and I had another child back then. That kid would grow up and not understand why Sofia has a father and he or she didn’t. And if Arizona or I were having a kid alone, it would essentially be ‘why does Sofia have two moms and I only have one?’ I’m really glad it’s not gonna be the case. We’re gonna have two happy kids, with two happy moms who really wanted to be their parents. It also doesn’t hurt that we’re actually fond of each other.”

“Yeah, you two seem in a really good place right now. It seems like you really like being back at the house with them,” Meredith observed.

“Yeah, it’s great. Maybe Arizona and I should just stay roommates once this is all over,” Callie joked, but in her mind she was wondering if it was really such a bad idea. They had concerns when she moved back in, but things just seemed to… click. It was all very domestic.

“Like college,” Meredith offered, getting Callie’s attention back.

“Eww, no. Frat houses are **your** specialty.”

“Seriously, though, it sounds like you put a lot of thought into this.”

“Of course I did, Meredith. I did **tons** of research before I talked to Arizona, and talked to other parents who did what we’re doing. You can’t just ask your ex-wife to raise a baby with you without thinking this through.”

“You are lucky **she’s** your ex-wife,” Meredith said.

“I am. She’s an amazing person, and an incredible mom, and Sofia is becoming this smart and beautiful tiny human, and so much of it is thanks to Arizona, and I’m really grateful I’m gonna have another kid who’ll experience two loving mothers.”

“What would you say was the hardest part in all of this? So far, I mean,” Meredith asked in genuine interest.

“Well… funny thing is, I think the hardest part was to actually ask Arizona. Some of this research scared the shit out of me. I read so much beforehand, I was so sure the concept would totally scare her off. There are definitely cons, or more accurately, risks, but there are so many good things to say about the idea, too. Like, you know, the older kid doesn’t grow up alone, and both siblings have the exact same parents. This concept is more common between straight people, I mean, not that it’s that common to begin with.”

“Right,” Meredith agreed.

“I think one of the main reasons as to why I couldn’t find other gay couples who did this, is that people want their kids to have a sibling that resembles them, who has the same genetic sources. You know?  So our reasoning for having the same two parents is more emotional and ideological, than scientific. I mean, we chose a donor with my skin tone, but… still. I just hope we’re doing a good job with Sofia. We had a serious talk. She understands so much more of what’s going on now that she’s older, but we had to make sure she knows it doesn’t mean we’re getting back together. How she might be affected is also one of my biggest concerns.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s very smart, and you two are amazing moms. She is very lucky, and this new baby will be, too.”

“Thanks for saying that, Mer,” Callie said with a smile, “and see that’s another thing. I was worried about, the new baby. My instinct is to assume this kid will be happy this way, but who could really foresee that? So I got all scared and I looked online. Some therapists say that even if the kid grows up and realizes he was conceived when the parents were already separated, it won’t cause him anxiety. The opposite. It’ll make him feel safe, and loved and wanted. Because the parents made an effort in order to have him. They made a calculated choice.”

“Interesting,” Meredith said, completely hooked on the psychology of it all.

“I know, right? If this wasn’t my life we’re talking about, it would make quite the interesting documentary. Or worse, a reality show.”

“No thanks.”

“Exactly. But yeah, Sofia gains from this, too, because instead of seeing one of us for a certain amount of time, she sees both of us all the time. At least for now.  I read about that as well. How it eases the guilt a child feels after the parents’ separation sometimes, because they think they’re the reason for it. Having another child helps the firstborn see they were not the cause of the breakup.”

“I’m really impressed with your amount of knowledge, Callie. You’re giving me some serious Lexi vibes.”

“You sure are interested, Mer,” Callie noted. “Why? Are you planning on divorcing any time soon?” Callie asked teasingly. She knew that that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“God, I wish,” she admitted. “Things have been so sickeningly good lately, I am bored. I’m living vicariously through your crazy. Give me your crazy!” Meredith demanded and made Callie laugh. Meredith was a mother of two as well, and she couldn’t be more grateful. She was happy her friend got another shot at parenting.

“But then what if one of you gets involved?” Meredith asked all of a sudden. “And if this is not something you want to talk about, I understand.”

“No, it’s okay. We talked about this, too. We had to. If one of us gets involved…then my ex and I have two kids together instead of one. If a potential partner could’ve accepted Sofia, he or she could deal with another kid. And if not, I don’t really want them anyways.”

“You think that’s realistic?”

“I’ve been seeing this girl for a few weeks,” Callie reminded.

“Maureen, right? I didn’t know this was still happening.”

“Well, I hardly have the time. I saw her maybe twice. We text. It’s just fun, you know? She’s well aware of everything. I’m just saying, I’m not hiding anything. Life is an open book right now and my priorities are clear. And you know what? I might never be in a long term relationship, or get married again, but that’s okay. I’ve done it twice. Family has many forms, and I would be fine with just being a mom. Anything else that happens is an added bonus.”

“How very mature of you,” Meredith said and smiled, “besides, it’s never ‘just being a mom’, that’s a lot of work, right there.”

“It’s a very personal choice. Investing in kids rather than romance. Some people might prefer the other way around, love and relationships above all. I used to be there. Things change. So, yeah, it’s a personal choice. It just so happens that **this** is **my** choice.”

“Callie Torres, as I live and breathe, what about sex? You love sex.”

“Then I go out and find sex. Or a fuck buddy, seriously.”

“Progression indeed.”

“Who can even think about that, though? As of now I’m trying to keep my eyes open after a 4 AM ice cream run.”

“Again?” Meredith asked and chuckled.

“You have no idea.”

“Speaking of ice cream, I have to tell you what Zola did two days ago…”

* * *

“Hey!” Arizona said as Callie walked into the lab, “how was lunch with Meredith?”

“Good!  We actually talked quite a lot about our unique… situation,” Callie said. “That doesn’t bother you, does it?” she asked in concern.

“Hmm… pretty sure soon enough we won’t be able to hide it anyway,” Arizona said with a soft smile. “I don’t mind, Calliope. People are curious. This is a curiosity worthy situation.”

“Yes. It is. Anyways, lunch was fun. I hope you aren’t regretting not wanting me to bring you a cheeseburger,” Callie said as she approached the exam table Arizona was sitting on.

“No regrets. I’m feeling a bit queasy today,” Arizona admitted.

“Oh, are you okay? Do you want me to get you anything?” Callie asked in concern.

“No, thank you, Callie. It’s getting better,” Arizona reassured.

“Good,” Callie said.

“I almost asked when do **I** get to have some weekly one-on-one quality time with you,” Arizona said, “but then…”

“You remembered that you have that quality time 24/7 these days?” Callie offered.

“Yep.”

“Plus, you get the special lab quality time,” Callie reminded.

“And that is the **best** quality time, of course,” Arizona said seriously.

“So now that that’s settled,” Callie started, “how’s the leg?”

Arizona has been using the new leg Callie built for her for a couple of weeks now. Weight wasn’t an issue just yet, but they both felt it was time to make the transition.

“Hmm… you’re a genius,” was Arizona’s reply, and Callie gave her a wide smile in return.

“Good, then? No need to make adjustments?”

“Not just yet. But this new socket…it’s so comfy. It’s like the yoga pants version of sockets!”

“Show me?” Callie asked and Arizona pulled her pants down to let Callie examine her leg.

“No soreness?” Callie asked.

“No.”

“Bruising around the stump?”

“Nope!”

“Which means this was a very quick check up. Congratulations, patient,” Callie said.

“Yay! You go, leg!”

“But promise you will tell me if it starts hurting or becoming too tight? If it doesn’t work once you gain some weight?” Callie asked.

“I will.” Arizona said.

“Because I know how much you don’t like to complain about these things, you tend to suck it up. I don’t need you to suck it up, Arizona, I need you to be safe.” Callie reminded.

“I will tell you if anything happens, or if I’m uncomfortable, or want a shinier design,” Arizona promised.

“Arizona…” Callie said, concern evident in her voice.

“Calliope, if anything is even just a tiny bit wrong, I will tell you. Do you believe me?”

“Yes.”

“Perfect. So can I go now?” Arizona asked softly, to make sure Callie understood she wasn’t upset.  “I have a surgery in half an hour.”

“Dismissed,” Callie said and smiled.

Arizona pulled her pants back up and got off the bed.

“I’ll see you at home?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“Good,” Arizona said and walked out of the lab, leaving Callie behind to ponder.

Every now and then Arizona referred to the house as “home.” And it **was** Arizona’s home. But when Arizona said it, she meant **their** home. Callie has been living there for a while now, but it still felt new and nice to get to call it her home, to have Arizona refer to it as their home.  She knew it’d be a long time before she had to leave again, but she was starting to wonder how would she ever manage to go.

* * *

Callie got home late that night. She didn’t like when that happened. She didn’t want to leave a pregnant Arizona alone with Sofia. While she knew Arizona was very capable, and Sofia was a very well behaved child, she couldn’t help but feel like she needed to be there and make sure everything was okay.

When she walked in, she noticed Arizona left a light for her in the hallway, and she could see a light coming out of Arizona’s room. Other than that, the house was in darkness. Sofia was clearly already asleep.

Callie walked towards Arizona’s room to say hi and ask her how the rest of her day was.

She found her lying on her back, looking at the ceiling in complete concentration. She watched her for a few moments, and then walked it, making sure she didn’t startle her. Arizona noticed her and brought herself up to lean on the headboard.

“Hi,” she said and offered Callie a smile.

“Hey. Still queasy?” Callie asked.

“Nope, much better. Thank you.”

“Good. What are you thinking about so seriously?” Callie asked her.

“Baby names,” Arizona admitted.

“Really?” Callie asked in an intrigued surprise.

“Really. Come help,” Arizona said and patted the empty side of the bed next to her.

Callie lay down, on top of the covers, leaning on her elbow. Arizona brought herself down to mirror Callie’s position.

“So where are we at?” Callie asked, curious as to what Arizona came up with.

“This is hard. I’m actually blank. One thing for sure – not Agamemnon,” Arizona warned.

“Oh, that ship has sailed a **long** time ago,” Callie said and they both chuckled. Then they looked at each other in silence to see what the other one would come up with.

“Tim if it’s a boy and I’m thinking maybe Tamara if it’s a girl?” Callie said suddenly, softly. “Then either way it’s honoring your brother with some of the letters?”

Arizona looked at her in shock. She didn’t know what to say. It was also evident that Callie thought about this, too.

“What?” Callie asked, fearing that Arizona completely hated the idea.

“Nothing, it’s just… well, that’s **my** family, Callie. You don’t have to feel obligated to do that. We’re not… you know,” Arizona said. She appreciated the gesture, but this was Callie’s baby too. For life. Arizona was already the biological mom. She didn’t want Callie to feel left out.

“Come on, Arizona. **You’re** my family. We share a child, and are about to share another one, and you’re my best friend, and I love your parents. I don’t feel like I **have** to do this. I want to. Why, don’t you like it?” Callie asked in concern.

“No, no! Are you kidding me? I love it! But are you absolutely sure?”  Arizona asked. “Because I’m fine with finding something else.”

“I’m absolutely sure,” Callie promised. “Do I need to pull a ‘believe me’ on you?”

“No, you don’t.” Arizona said and smiled.  “Hey Tim slash Tamara! We’ll know which one is your name in six more weeks!” she said excitedly, talking to her own belly, which made Callie laugh.

“What about the middle name?” Arizona asked.

“We’re gonna let Sofia pick it,” Callie said and started to get up.

“Or at least let her think that she picked it,” Arizona added.

“Exactly,” Callie said and reached the door. “I’m beat, I’m gonna head to bed. Do you need anything before I do?”

“No, thank you. For everything. It means so much to me, Callie, truly.”

“You are very welcome, Arizona. Good night.”

“Good night,” Arizona said softly and Callie shut the door behind her, leaving Arizona alone with her thoughts, and namely one – how caring Calliope Torres was.

* * *

 

**A/N** : I definitely wanted to elaborate a bit more about why they even did this in the first place, and it was nice to use Meredith (and cheeseburgers) to get a look into Callie’s head. This wasn’t done on a whim. They put a lot of thought into it. I also love the idea that four years later, Mer and Callie still make sure they hang out.

I used [one article](http://www.ynet.co.il/articles/0,7340,L-3096614,00.html) for a lot of the information. It’s in Hebrew. In case anyone is interested, feel free to put it through Google Translate. 


	8. Chapter 8

“This is absolutely hilarious!” Callie said in delight. “Such a small world!”

“I know!” Maureen agreed. “Makes quite the fun story! Mostly…I think.”

It was late afternoon on a Saturday, and they were walking side by side, heading towards Arizona and Callie’s house. They had an excellent lunch at a restaurant within a walking distance from the house. Callie left Arizona the car, ‘just in case,’ and she felt more comfortable knowing she was still close by in case she was needed.

“I have to tell Arizona, she will flip,” Callie said, still laughing.

“Yes, this sounds like solid small talk, but I’m not done with you yet,” Maureen said and pulled Callie into a kiss, right there in the middle of the street. Callie moaned quietly. Maureen still tasted like chocolate from the dessert they shared. Yes, lunch was fantastic, she thought while Maureen pulled away, ending their kiss. But before she had a chance to get too far, Callie pulled her right back in, putting one hand on her hip, and the other on her neck. She added some tongue for good measure and Maureen could feel the goose bumps forming on her arms. 

“Wow, someone is eager,” she finally teased as they broke the kiss.

“Well, what can I say? You taste delicious,” Callie said and winked.

“Don’t make me respond to that, because a response to this will never be less than extremely dirty, and that doesn’t bode well with our plan of taking things slow. That kiss didn’t help matters, either,” Maureen admitted as they started walking again.

“What are you talking about? Kisses are the best medicine to everything!” Callie announced cheerfully.

“Except for maybe blue balls,” Maureen joked, “or the female equivalent of blue balls. Whatever that might be.”

“It’s actually blue bean,” Callie stated.

“Wha… what? How? Why? As in… why do you know this?”

“I like to be educated and know all the terms kids use these days,” Callie shrugged, “in lesbianism,” she added.

“Why is it even a bean?”  Maureen asked.

“It actually refers to the clitoris. As in – when the clitoris is being sexually stimulated but there’s no actual orga…”

“Okay!” Maureen cut her off. “Stop! Just stop it! This is making things so much worse!”

“Hey, you asked. I’m just quoting. Innocently,” Callie defended.

“There was nothing innocent about that quoting, Callie,” Maureen said suggestively.

“As innocent as poetry reading,” Callie said and winked.

“Riiiiight,” Maureen said and rolled her eyes.

“Well, I would very much like to argue with you about the subject some more, however, this is me,” Callie said as the house came to view. They stopped next to the mail box.

“I had a lot of fun today, as always,” Callie said with a soft smile.

“Me too. When can I steal you for a bit again?” Maureen asked.

“You know how it is. We’ll have to play it by ear,” Callie said apologetically.

“That’s okay, I understand. I just wish I could start seeing you more than once every other week,” Maureen admitted.

“Yeah,” Callie said and smiled. She liked Maureen, a lot, but she wasn’t sure how far she wanted to go with what they had, and the more they postponed the physical aspect of their relationship, the more Callie felt like there would be a lot of expectation involved. Like the waiting itself was an unofficial promise for a commitment. She needed more time to sort things out.

“I’ll text you tomorrow?” she finally asked.

“Sounds good,” Maureen said and leaned in for another soft kiss. “Good night, Callie.”

“Good night, Maureen, thanks for the lovely walk.”

“It was my pleasure,” Maureen said genuinely and turned to leave.

Callie stood alone for a few moments, wondering what it was all going to lead to. She was glad that even though certain aspects of her life were somewhat vague, one thing was certain - she had an amazing family she could come back to, and count on, and that wasn’t going to change.

* * *

Callie walked in to find Arizona on the couch, covered in a blanket, and watching American Bakeoff. An empty huge ice cream container was set on the coffee table right in front of her.

“Hi!” Callie said in surprise. “You’re home!”

“Yeah, where else would I be?”  Arizona asked, already in mourning for her long lost pre-pregnancy social life.

“I don’t know. It’s surprisingly nice out. I thought maybe you and Sof would go to a museum or for a walk or something.”

“She’s in her room, reading a book. This kid has outgrown us, Callie,” Arizona stated.

“Not possible, we are awesome!” Callie announced, dropped her purse and walked to the couch to sit next to Arizona.

“Someone is in a good mood. Lunch with Maureen went well?” Arizona asked.

“It was fun. But that’s not why I’m in a good mood. Well… it’s one of the reasons why I’m in a good mood.  The other reason I’m in a good mood, is because I’m extremely amused,” Callie explained.

“Amused because…? Please, share with the rest of the class.”

“So guess what?” Callie said.

“What?” Arizona asked, in ever growing confusion and anticipation.

“Maureen used to date your ex, Joanne,” Callie said victoriously.

Arizona stared at her shocked and with her mouth agape.

“Wait… is this a Rent joke?” Arizona asked in puzzlement.

“Nope. I swear! **I** personally find this to be hilarious.”

“I’m not disagreeing with you. How does she know Joanne?” Arizona asked.

“She doesn’t really, not anymore. But she **used** to know her. Probably the same way **you** used to know her. If you know what I mean,” Callie said teasingly. Teasing Arizona was always extremely easy, but Callie just came back from a conversation loaded with flirting and insinuations and she couldn’t help herself. She was on a roll.

“Oh, eww! Callie, no!” Arizona said disgusted as realization hit her. “You can’t sleep with her now because it’ll be like you’re sleeping with Joanne by proxy and that’s just… wrong. So **so** wrong!”

“We’re not there yet, Arizona,” Callie said and laughed at the outburst.

“Yeah, but you might be. You’ve been going out for a while. Wait, you guys were talking about me?” Arizona asked in surprise.

“Hmm, yeah, Arizona, you’re not exactly something I can hide when I’m talking about my life. Nor do I want to. We’re having a baby together,” Callie stated the obvious.

Arizona stared at her with an unreadable expression on her face.

“What?” Callie asked in confusion. “Is it not good that I’m mentioning the mother of my child, or the fact that I’m about to have another one?”

“No, Callie, of course it’s good. It’s just…” Arizona was trying to gather her thoughts. “Should we talk about this some more? I mean, dating while we’re doing this? As in - what it actually means?”

“Hmm… I thought we did,” Callie said in slight confusion, “but sure if you want to we can talk about it some more. What do you think?”

“I don’t know,” Arizona responded a bit too quickly.

“Well a month ago you were all like ‘yeah, I don’t mind! Go date! Feel at home!’” Callie said, starting to worry that her home privileges might expire sooner than expected.

“I totally meant it! It’s just…”

“What?” Callie asked, but Arizona said nothing. “Arizona… be honest. It’s okay either way. There’s no right or wrong answer here. Just… talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. I want you to feel comfortable sharing your thoughts. This…” Callie gestured at the gap between them, “is a safe space,” she concluded and made Arizona giggle.

Arizona looked at Callie for a few more moments and took a breath before she started speaking again.

“I mean, again, assuming someone will be crazy enough to actually get seriously involved in this, I guess it should be okay.”

“Yeah? Because you got all quiet for a second there. Twice, actually.”

“Yes, Callie. I mean, we both want the other one to be happy, right?”

“Right.”

“As long as we let each other know if anything gets serious.”

“Absolutely.”

“Is it getting serious?”

“I can’t tell quite yet. For now it’s just fun. I really haven’t seen her more than three, maybe four times.”

“Well, you know what they say about the third date…”

“That when you have no time and have a pregnant woman at home and a kid at elementary school nothing happens after said date?” Callie offered.

“Yes. That.”

“Arizona, Maureen and I are having fun but my priorities are very clear to both me and her. Are they clear you to you?”

“Of course they are, Callie, don’t be silly! I just don’t want you to feel like you are missing out on something.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, good. Why don’t you tell me about her? Is she good enough for you? Do I need to have ‘the talk’ with her?” Arizona asked teasingly and made Callie chuckle.

“No talks need to be had!” Callie reassured. “And Maureen…Well, let’s see. She’s nice. Smart. Funny. Really pretty. A great kisser,” Callie said and nudged Arizona’s hip.

“That’s important,” Arizona confirmed with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Callie, who wasn’t looking directly at her because she was still concentrating, didn’t notice.

“She also doesn’t work at the hospital, which is great,” Callie added.

“Super great,” Arizona agreed, trying to shake off her sudden melancholy.

It started to sound to Arizona like Maureen and Callie might be getting serious after all, even though the brunette seemed adamant that it wasn’t the case.

Arizona couldn’t help but noticing she didn’t **want** Callie and Maureen to get serious.  She wasn’t sure what to do with that notion that sprung on her all of a sudden. But she thought she didn’t care for it very much. She wasn’t exactly lying. She **was** okay with it. But… she was okay with it two months ago. Now? Now she wasn’t so sure. Which didn’t qualify as lying either. Nor did it matter anyways. Callie and she weren’t together.  Being annoyed or unhappy about each other’s romantic life wasn’t something they did. Nope. They were happy for one another, supportive of one another.

“What about you, aren’t you seeing anyone?” Callie asked, pulling Arizona out of her inner turmoil. Arizona was happy for the distraction, though.

“Of course!” she said sarcastically, “all the time! Can’t you tell by how I’m never home when you get here? I just have so much energy.”

“Hey,” Callie said softly and put her hand on Arizona’s, “if you ever feel like you need a night off, you know, before things get **really** crazy, let me know, okay? I can drop Sofia at Mer’s and take you out, or I can watch over her so you can go out with someone else. I’ll even pick you up after your outing if you need me to. Okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, Calliope,” Arizona said gratefully.

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on something, too,” Callie said, squeezed Arizona’s hand, and finally got up. “I’m going to change,” she said, bent to kiss Arizona on the top of her head, and left the room.

Arizona heard Callie’s words loud and clear. She could do whatever she wanted, **allowed** to do whatever she wanted and be with whomever she pleased. She wasn’t supposed to feel like she was missing out. But if that was the case, then why did she feel like she **was**?

* * *

 

 **A/N** : If you hate me after this one, no worries, I suspect you’ll have a newfound appreciation after the next chapter. For those who wonder, Arizona is 15 weeks pregnant in this chapter. So in terms of how long it’s been since they had the initial talk – nearly six months. And Callie has been back at the house for about 5 months.  


	9. Chapter 9

Callie woke up, groaned and looked at the clock. It was 3 AM, and she desperately needed to pee. She needed to drink, and **then** she needed to pee, she thought. It wasn’t fair. She was already losing sleep over a pregnant woman’s nightly cravings, and her research. She wasn’t happy about her stupid body having needs that interfered with her **sleeping** needs.

She dragged herself out of the bed and got out of the room.  The hallway was dark and she touched the walls knowing that otherwise she would fall flat on her face. “Ouch, motherfucker!” she cursed quietly as her leg hit something hard. Her mind was too cloudy to remember what it might’ve been.

As she walked by Arizona’s room towards the bathroom, she heard heavy breathing coming from the other side. Fearing that something was wrong, her mind was suddenly wide awake, and she opened the door without knocking.

“Arizona are you…” but she couldn’t finish her sentence because what she saw was the other woman, bathed is soft light from the lamp on her night stand, with one hand inside her pants, and the other one, on an exposed breast due to her lifted shirt.

Callie just stood in shock for a moment, not daring the move. Then, their eyes locked and the switch in Callie’s brain flipped.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry!” Callie said, averted her gaze, and bolted out of the room. She has no idea what to do, so she just ran into the bathroom, stumbling the whole way until she was in the safe confines of the room, behind a locked door. She leaned on the sink and took a big breath.

She was trying to sort her thoughts and just do what she got up to do in the first place. But no matter how hard she tried to block the memory, the only thing that her brain agreed to go back to, is the fact that Arizona’s boobs had gotten bigger. Callie wanted to experience how they felt in her hands, she realized in horror, but immediately shook her head to rid of the visual that seem to have made her flush. She was very hot all of a sudden, and chose to wash her face with cold water and take a few more calming breaths.

She was hoping to ignore the whole thing, skip the drinking part, pee, and just go to bed. She was parched, and now there was another kind of thirst present, but she was adamant to finish what she came here to do and make a run for it. Unfortunately, as she opened the bathroom door after washing her hands, she found Arizona standing there with her arms crossed.

“So,” the blonde stated matter-of-factly, “that happened.”

Callie groaned but replied “yes, it did.”

“Do I need to point that you didn’t knock?” Arizona asked, and Callie who was sure she was being accused, went on the defense.

“Come on, Arizona, I said I was sorry! It’s the middle of the night, I heard heavy breathing, and I got scared. Do we **have** to talk about this?”

“Why does it sound like you’re mad at me?” Arizona asked amused. “I don’t recall **you** being the one walked-in on in a compromising situation.” She knew exactly what Callie was doing, and she couldn’t help but laugh at how flustered the other woman was.

“Why am I mad? I don’t know,” Callie said sarcastically. “Maybe because it’s 3 AM and our **daughter** is sleeping down the hall?”

“Well, you are one to judge. You were out of control when you were pregnant!” Arizona said. “I am **not** gonna be the hormonal head of two departments who pleasures herself in an on call room just because she doesn’t wanna go out and get some random lay to scratch my itch. I am horny, Callie. I am horny and I won’t lower myself to some cheap solution. So 3 AM in my own room, at my own home seems like a pretty decent solution to me! Unless you have any better ideas?” Arizona asked, daring Callie to say something she wouldn’t like.

Callie looked at her for a moment, softened, and then said genuinely “you are right, I’m being unfair, by all means, masturbate away.”

They looked at each other in silence for a moment before they both burst into laughter.

“Has it really been that bad, Arizona?” Callie asked genuinely. The subject might’ve been awkward, but if Arizona was in pain, any sort of pain, Callie wanted to help. If not actively, then maybe by advising, or just be an outlet, someone Arizona could talk to. She was committed to being there for her.

“It’s not… it’s just, I need to feel good, Callie. I mean, It’s because of the hormones, and because of the need for… hmmm… well, release, with all the craziness that’s going on… and also, yeah, it’s because I need to feel good.”

“What do you mean you need to feel good?” Callie asked in confusion, “does it have anything to do with the fact that you’re finally starting to show? Because that took forever, Arizona.”

“Maybe it took forever… but still, it doesn’t change that fact that…I feel fat,” she admitted quietly and looked at the floor. She seemed to Callie even more exposed than she was just mere minutes ago, when she was **actually** exposed in front of Callie.

Callie took both of Arizona’s hands in hers.

“Hey,” she said in a voice so soft and gentle, that it made Arizona look at her. “You’re glowing,” Callie said in a joyful amazement, her eyes boring into Arizona’s, “you’re **beautiful**.”

Callie’s words, her tone, the look on her face, were so sincere, that Arizona couldn’t help but believe her.  She also couldn’t ignore the fuzzy feeling that took residence in her stomach. Melting, some people called it. ‘Hormones,’ she told herself like a mantra, ‘it’s just the hormones.’

“Are you okay?” Callie asked, thinking that maybe she crossed some line. “I’m sorry if what I said made you feel uncomfortable, I was just trying to be honest.”

“No, Calliope, it’s okay,” Arizona replied immediately, happy to realize their hands were still connected so she could squeeze Callie’s hands. “I… when you say stuff like that… well, I actually believe you.”

“You should.”

“I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” Arizona joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Adding that to the list,” Callie said and released Arizona’s hands. They were still standing close to one another.

“What list?” Arizona asked in confusion.

“A list of reasons why you’re keeping me around.”

“What else is on that list?” Arizona asked.

“Well, so far, a Harper Avery and a big TV screen. And now also ‘awesome pep talks,’” Callie explained.

“Add to that ‘best breakfast maker,’ and ‘amazing mom,’” Arizona said playfully, “and a million other things.”

“I will, once I get back to my room,” Callie assured.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Arizona smiled.

“Good night, Arizona,” Callie said and started walking towards her room.

“Goodnight, Callie,” Arizona called behind her. She watched Callie until she got to the door of her room. “Hey, Calliope?” she said quietly. Not sure she actually wanted to say the thing that was on her mind. If Callie would hear her, she would, if Callie didn’t… but she did.

“Hmm?” Callie turned around.

“I **did** want that baby, you know,” Arizona said in a barely audible voice, “back right before we separated? I really wanted to have another baby with you.”

“I know that now,” Callie said softly, and walked back to Arizona, “but it’s still a good thing we didn’t have it back then.”

“Yeah. I agree,” Arizona said with a sad smile.

“And hey, this way, you still get to have another child with me!” Callie added, trying to lighten the mood. Plus, it was true.

“And it makes me really, **really** happy,” Arizona said, hoping that Callie would know just how much she appreciated everything.

“Me too,” Callie said and they held each other’s gaze for a few moments.

“Well,” Arizona started, “I better go to sleep, you know, now that you totally killed the mood,” she teased and Callie nodded.

Arizona wanted to do more. She wanted to grab Callie’s hand, tell her “come with me, help me finish what I started,” and drag Callie into the room with her. But instead, she gave her a kiss on the cheek and squeezed her arm. Callie could feel herself getting flushed all over again. Arizona smiled at her and walked into her room.  She was playing with fire like a good ol’ Lisabeth Salander, and she knew that.

 ‘Mood officially not killed,’ she thought behind her side of the door.

Callie wasn’t faring any better. She made a beeline into her room, realizing that between the incident earlier, and that kiss just moments ago, she was going to have to take matters into her own hands.

She lied down, fully intended on imagining one of her favorite actresses, like she usually did. When that didn’t work, she was thinking about Maureen, surely their long build up towards **that** moment would do the trick?

Except that the only picture her brain was willing to conjure was Arizona, in her bed, in the same compromising position she saw her in earlier.

“What is wrong with me? This can’t be happening.”

She told herself that it’s just because she was surprised, and because she hasn’t seen Arizona this exposed in four years. They might not have been together, but it didn’t change the fact that they always connected incredibly well physically, and that Arizona was a hot, **hot** woman.

“Nope. No. Not happening,” Callie said to the empty room, deciding to give up on the whole thing and try to sleep.

It took a while. A **long** while.

* * *

Arizona was lying in bed, trying to not think about Callie. That’s what she’s been doing since the moment she walked back into the room.

Something about pleasing herself with her ex-wife in mind, her best friend of an ex-wife, who trusted her and wanted another child with her, felt to Arizona like a violation. Like she was breaking some unspoken vow she made to Callie, to herself.  Like she was crossing some invisible line.

The fact that she was stopped halfway through earlier, didn’t help matters much.

“This is not good, this is so not good!” She said to the empty room, trying to summon a visual of someone, **anyone** else into her mind.

She wanted to ignore the feelings, and it went against her resolution to not burry the things she was feeling.  That was something she taught herself slowly but surely ever since she and Callie separated. How to say what was on her mind more often. Not always try and be the strongest one, the one who doesn’t take care of herself and regrets it later on when things fall apart. No. She taught herself to surrender sometimes, to give in.

She almost gave in now. She almost did something she had no business doing.

‘No, Arizona! Bad, Arizona!” she thought. ‘Hormones, hormones, hormones! It’s just the freaking hormones!’

It wasn’t just the freaking hormones.

 


	10. Chapter 10

“Okay, you two decided to do this early, so please don’t freak out if we can’t tell just yet,” Addison said.

“I didn’t decide anything, I just tagged along,” Callie said and laced her fingers with Arizona’s.

“And **I** think,” Arizona said, “that we already established I’m not the kind of person who likes to wait.”

She was lying down, Callie was by her side.

“Fortune favors those who can wait, and all that,” Addison said.

“Not entirely sure that’s how the saying goes,” Arizona countered, and Callie just looked at the exchange, extremely amused.

“Whatever. So, what kind of an outcome are we hoping for today?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Callie said, “I just want to know what to buy.”

“Alright, then let’s gel you up, Arizona, but again, no guarantees.”

“Oh, come on Addison!” Arizona whined, “you keep saying how good you are so put this disgusting thing on me and tell me if I’m having a boy or a girl!”

“Jesus!” Addison said.

“Hormones,” Arizona excused.

“Riiiight, I get the feeling that maybe you’re always like that,” Addison said and got up to get the gel, before the impatient Arizona could grab her and do god knows what to her.

Arizona was glaring at Addison’s back, which made Callie giggle. Arizona heard her, turned to look at her, and smiled at her own silliness.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked Callie softly, “you’ve been really quiet since we got here, and if we’re honest, most of the morning, too.”

“I’m fine,” Callie reassured, “it’s just… I’m nervous…and excited. This is a big deal, you know?”

“Yeah,” Arizona said and smiled softly, “I know,” she squeezed Callie’s hand which was still laced with hers.

“Alright ladies, let’s do this,” Addison said and approached Arizona who lifted the scrub shirt she was wearing and slightly lowered her pants and underwear. A few moments later, Arizona’s abdomen was covered in gel. She didn’t like the sensation at all, but she was way too excited about what was coming.

“Let’s see,” Addison said as she was looking at the monitor. She was quiet for a few moments, every now and then checking things on a list or filling numbers.

“Well?” Arizona asked in anticipation.

“Getting there, trooper,” Addison said. “Well, first I’m sure you’d like to hear that everything is great. Spine, face, heartbeat, weight, all seem great, now for the real money maker.”

She looked at the monitor again, moving the probe on Arizona’s abdomen once more.

Both Callie and Arizona were holding their breaths.

“And,” Addison smiled widely, creating an even bigger build up, “who run the world?”

“Girls!” Callie and Arizona yelled simultaneously.

“Yay! Yes! Score!” Arizona added victoriously as Addison and Callie laughed.

 “I thought it didn’t really matter which gender it was gonna be,” Addison said with a raised eyebrow.

“It didn’t really matter which gender it was gonna be as long as it was gonna be a girl!” Arizona announced cheerfully. “Tammy Tam, Tammy Tam, does whatever Tammy Tam does!”

“What is she doing?” Addison asked Callie quietly.

“Can she swing, from a web? No she can’t, she’s a fetus!” Arizona sang at the top of her lungs, adding a little dance.

“She’s changing the words to the Spider-man theme. It’s a thing she does,” Callie explained.

“Oh boy,” Addison said.

“Look out… **She** is a Tammy Tam!” Arizona concluded.

“So I’m guessing Tammy is the name you guys picked?” Addison asked.

“Tamara,” Callie explained, “Tamara Marcella.”

“It’s beautiful,” Addison offered and Callie smiled.

“It’s because **she** will be beautiful,” Arizona announced, “just like the men she’s named after.”

Addison looked at her in confusion.

“Tim,” Arizona explained, “my brother who died in Iraq.”

“Oh,” Addison wasn’t sure what to say.

“And… Mark,” Callie said and put her hand around Arizona’s shoulder. “Sofia approved.”

“So she’ll be beautiful, and brave, and smart, and strong. She’ll be perfect,” Arizona said quietly.

“Yes,” Callie agreed, “she will be.” She squeezed Arizona’s shoulder and all of a sudden Arizona’s eye grew in shock.

“Should we be worried she hasn’t kicked yet?” She asked. It finally hit her. She was having a girl, another daughter. It was an incredible feeling, but now that she felt like she knew her baby a bit better, it made everything more real, which meant scary.

“I wouldn’t worry, no. Give her six more weeks before you start to freak out. But she seems perfectly fine,” Addison reassured and Callie circled the bed to put her hand on Arizona’s baby bump.

“You hear that, Tamster? You’re gonna be perfectly fine. Emphasis on the perfect,” she said gently and it made Arizona tear with joy. 

Callie looked at her. Arizona’s body was clearly a mess of hormones. One moment she was having a dance party of one, and a second later, she was crying.

“Hey, hey,” she said softly to the crying woman and put a hand on her cheek, “you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just… so… happy,” Arizona said and started bawling. Callie took her in for a hug, letting Arizona rest her head on her chest.

“Yeah, we can tell,” Addison said.

“Shut up, Addie,” Callie said. “It’s gonna be okay,” she said to Arizona and caressed her hair. “And tonight, we’re gonna take Sofia out and tell her that she’s gonna be a sister, and get a sister.”

“Yay,” Arizona said between the sobs and sniffles.

“Yay, indeed,” Callie agreed and tightened her hold on the other woman.

* * *

“Hey, hey! Sorry I was late!” Callie said, pecked Maureen’s lips quickly, put her hands on her knees, and tried to catch her breath.

“Woah, do you need a moment, tiger?” Maureen asked teasingly.

They made plans for lunch. That was before she knew Arizona would have a little melt down. She was about to cancel, but Arizona stubbornly insisted that her hormones could not be the driving force in Callie’s life.

“Go, have a fun lunch, Sof and I will see you later.”

Callie wanted to drive her home, at least, but there was no arguing with a stubborn, and more importantly, pregnant, Arizona Robbins.

It didn’t stop Callie from being late to her lunch date, considering she and Arizona were fighting about it until the very last moment. Eventually, Arizona ordered Addison to push the other woman out of the room. For some reason, Addison obliged, though she did mumble something along the lines of “I’m not a body guard” under her breath.

“I’m fine, I’m okay,” Callie said. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I didn’t wait for more than ten minutes. Are you okay?” Maureen asked in concern.

Callie finally stood up again, and smiled widely.

“I’m perfect,” Callie said, “I’m gonna have another girl,” she added and nearly squealed.

Maureen smiled at her, genuinely happy for her.

“Callie, that’s great!” she said and took Callie into a hug. “That’s what you guys wanted, right?”

“Yeah, but only unofficially. Officially, it didn’t really matter.”

“Right,” Maureen said and smiled lightly.

“You ready to eat?” Callie asked, “I’m starving.”

“Yeah,” Maureen said, took Callie’s hand in hers, and they started walking.

“Hey, how about you come over tonight?” Maureen asked. “We can celebrate,” she said and winked. It made Callie stop walking.

“Oh, hmm… I’d love to, Maureen. But it’s an important family night. We were gonna tell Sofia.”

“Oh, I see,” Maureen said in disappointment. Callie’s use of the word family stung a bit.

“Plus, I really don’t feel comfortable leaving Arizona alone at night,” Callie added, hoping that the other woman would understand.

“Yeah, but Callie, you deserve to have a little break. To have some fun,” Maureen said. “What would Arizona do if the roles were reserved and she had a chance to have a fun night out?”

“Ha!” Callie said, “Arizona would never let me out of her sight if I was pregnant. Are you kidding me? She’s too much of a control freak for that. Plus, she cares like crazy.”

“Yeah, I guess you are right,” Maureen said and offered Callie a half hearted smile. Callie felt bad. Maureen was never her top priority. On the one hand, she couldn’t be, on the other, this was no way to build a serious relationship with someone. Was that even what she wanted with Maureen? They’ve been going out for three months now and Callie still didn’t know how to answer that question.

 “I’ll tell you what,” Callie offered softly, “let’s just enjoy our lunch for now, okay? I’ll try to figure something out in terms of an overnight stay in the near future. How does that sound?”

“Good. It sounds good,” Maureen said and gave Callie a soft kiss.

* * *

The three of them were sitting around a table at Sofia’s favorite restaurant. Which really, meant she was having Mac n’ cheese. Callie and Arizona weren’t sure if they were over spoiling her, but they wanted to make sure things will go smoothly. Sofia might have known hypothetically what was coming, but this was different. This was real.

Arizona was drooling when the food arrived. She was getting giddy, looking at the three different main courses and two appetizers she ordered.

Sofia was looking at the food being put down on their table. ‘One plate for me, one plate for mommy, and… five plates for mama,’ she thought, confused.

Callie saw her daughter lost in concentration and got worried.

“What is it, honey?” Callie asked and made Arizona look up from her food. “Are you okay? Your stomach hurts?” Callie said and put her hand on Sofia’s forehead to check for fever.

“No, mommy, I’m fine, but…” Sofia said and turned to look at Arizona who, while looking at them, also took a bite from her steak. “Hmm… Mama? You sure you want to eat all of that? I think it hurts you. You are bigger now. I think it’s because you always eat a lot.”

Arizona looked at Sofia, dumbfounded, trying to figure out if she should be offended that her daughter just called her fat. But she couldn’t stop herself from swallowing the bite she already had in her mouth.

“Oh boy,” Callie said.

“Hmm…” Arizona started to say.

“I’ve got this,” Callie said, and laid a gentle hand on Arizona’s. “Sofia, honey, remember when we talked to you and explained why I was moving back in?”

“Yeah, to give me a brother or a sister,” Sofia stated matter-of-factly.

“Right,” Callie confirmed, amused by the simplification her daughter’s young brain provided. “We needed to live at the same house to have the baby, so if you or mama needed any help, I could help. Okay?”

“Okay,” Sofia said and tried to follow.

“Now, honey, when people are having a baby, they are growing it in their tummy,” Callie said, hoping beyond hope she’s saying the right things.

“They are?” Sofia asked in confusion.

“Yes, they are. They, hmm… connected to us, the grownups, so they can eat when we eat, and drink when we drink, do you understand?” Callie asked and chanced a look at Arizona, who smirked at her, enjoying Callie’s struggle.

“I think so. I was connected to mama, too?”

“No, sweetie, you were connected to me. But it doesn’t matter, because we made you together. Just like we made **this** baby together, only this time, it was mama’s turn to be connected to the baby,” Callie said, hoping Sofia was figuring some of it out.

“So… mama is bigger because she has my brother or sister in her tummy connected to her?” Sofia asked.

“Yes, baby girl. That’s exactly it. You are very smart.”

“And when is the baby coming?”

“Well…” Callie started, “the baby is coming in a few more months. First, mama needs to get a bit bigger. She needs to keep feeding the baby. But when the baby isn’t hungry anymore, she will come out,” Callie explained.

“She?” Sofia asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Yeah, Sof,” Arizona finally joined in. “We went to the baby doctor today, you remember Addison? She said we are gonna have a girl. You are gonna have a sister.”

“Oh!” Sofia said and looked very excited.

“And it’s gonna be your job to help us and to always protect your little sister because you are a big girl now. Do you think you can do that?” Callie asked softly.

“I will be the best sister ever!”

“We are very happy to hear that, Sof,” Callie said, “I’m sure you will be!”

“You are already the best, Sof. You ready to eat now?” Arizona asked gently, but she had an ulterior motive, and Callie knew it, and glared at her.

“I need to go to the bathroom first,” Sofia said in response and Callie started to get up.

“No, mommy, you stay. I’m a big sister now. I can go alone,” Sofia stated.

“Are… are you sure?” Callie asked, not wanting to let her daughter roam alone in the restaurant.

“Yes,” Sofia said, determined.

“Well, okay, come back quickly,” Callie said and Sofia left. Callie would’ve been more concerned if it wasn’t a restaurant they’ve been to a thousand times before, but she still glued her face to Sofia’s retreating figure, watching her as she entered the bathroom.

“This went well,” Arizona said, taking another bite of her food, and watching the bathroom door, too. Callie, in the mean while, used an extra plate to cover Sofia’s food, so it won’t get cold.

“It’s gonna get harder when we need to have the other half of this conversation. At least two more years, right?” She asked.

“Right, at least,” Arizona agreed. “In the mean time let me wallow in self pity over the fact that our daughter just called me fat.”

“No, Arizona. I believe she was trying to say you were round around the edges.”

“Shut up, Calliope. I’m gonna order another appetizer.”


	11. Chapter 11

Arizona walked into the kitchen early on a Saturday morning to find Sofia seated by the kitchen table, and Callie who was very invested in the business of breakfast making.

Arizona smiled at the picture, but couldn’t help but being concerned.

“You’re up early,” she said.

“Yeah, Sof was watching TV and I figured I might as well make sure she doesn’t eat ice cream for breakfast before I head out,” Callie said and exchanged a look with her exasperated daughter.

“Out? Where are you going this early on a weekend?” Arizona asked and approached her.

“Lab,” Callie deadpanned and Arizona nodded in understanding. “How are you feeling today?” Callie asked softly and looked at Arizona. “Do you want something to eat before I leave?”

“I’ll grab something soon, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure? I can make something in no time,” Callie offered kindly.

“I’m sure, thank you,” Arizona said and smiled while Callie went back to finish her own breakfast.

“Callie,” Arizona said quietly, making sure only Callie heard her, “how are **you** feeling? You’ve been taking such good care of me, of all of us. Are you resting at all?”

“Don’t worry about me, I’m okay,” Callie reassured, still working on her breakfast.

“Hey,” Arizona said, making Callie look at her, “I always worry about you,” she admitted and they smiled at each other softly.

“I appreciate the worry, Arizona, but I’m fine,” Callie said.

“I think you are not fine, I think you just don’t like to complain, which is okay, but then it’s my job to make sure you’re actually fine,” Arizona said.

“Arizona…”

“How about,” Arizona said, ignoring Callie, “tonight you’ll come home from work, grab a glass of wine, let me live vicariously through you with said wine, put your feet in my lap and let me give you a nice foot rub? I can even get oils,” Arizona offered.

“Arizona, you know how I feel about your girly hands,” Callie said and made Arizona look down in embarrassment, thinking that her efforts weren’t appealing enough.

“Hey,” Callie said softly, and put her finger under Arizona’s chin so she could lift her head up, “I’d love to let you live vicariously through me and get a foot rub. Thank you,” she said softly.

“Any time,” Arizona said, doing a little internal happy dance.

* * *

Arizona tried, really tried, to keep herself awake. She was committed to the plan.

After a lazy morning, Arizona took Sofia out for an impromptu shopping spree. Sofia got a box of star shaped chocolates, a bag of gummy bears, a princess pencil, and a new doll. Arizona got Callie’s favorite brand of wine, and a fancy box of massage oils.

When they got home, it was already late afternoon. She made dinner for Sofia and herself, and then Sofia ditched her to go and play with her new doll. Arizona was left alone on the couch, to reflect.

Callie had been with them for about six months, and ever since the other woman moved in, well, back in, Arizona felt amazing. Callie always put them first, and took such good care of them. She went above and beyond to make sure Sofia and her (and now Tam Tam) were fed, and comfortable and felt safe and loved.

It warmed Arizona’s heart how easily Callie slid into that role, and she was hoping beyond hope that Callie felt validated, comfortable, and happy. Because **Arizona** felt happy, and she knew she’d be devastated if she found out Callie wasn’t feeling appreciated. She was hoping she could make Callie feel cared for that night, and she promised herself to pay attention to Callie’s needs as best as she could, and to try and do something nice for her every now and then.

She didn’t realize how long she’s been sitting and thinking, until she got a text from Callie, telling her she was on her way home.

With determination in her heart, she got off the couch, took a wine glass out, and set the coffee table with the wine glass, the bottle she bought especially earlier in the day, the massage oils, and a few candles.

She chose a CD with a relaxing music, she dimmed the light, and she figured she’d light the candles once Callie got home. She texted Callie “your personal masseuse made sure everything is ready and hopefully to your liking!” and finally, she sat down on the couch to wait for Callie, happy that she could do something, anything, for the other woman.

And then she fell asleep.

Callie walked in fifteen minutes later to find Sofia standing in the dimly lit living room, staring at her dead-to-the-world mama.

“What is mama doing?” she asked and Callie snorted.

“Mama is being ridiculous,” Callie replied, dropped her bag by the door and walked to her daughter.

“Is she sleeping because Tam Tam is sleeping and they are connected?” Sofia asked, her big eyes seeming curious.

“Probably,” Callie said, “it’s bed time for you too, Sof.”

“But will mama be okay?” Sofia asked in concern.

“Mama is fine, sweetie, she’s just very tired. I’m gonna wake her up once you’re in bed, and make sure she gets to bed, too. Okay?”

“Okay,” Sofia reluctantly agreed and let Callie do their bed time routine, which tonight, started with turning off the CD player.

When Sofia was tucked in, Callie finally returned to the living room and for the first time noticed the table Arizona set.

She looked at Arizona, and felt a wave of warmth wash all over her, realizing how much thought the other woman put into tonight. How much she wanted to make Callie feel good.

She almost didn’t want to wake her, Arizona seemed so peaceful, but Callie knew a bed would make for a much better night sleep, so she shook her gently.

“Arizona? Sweetie? You need to get up,” she said and shook again, speaking softly until Arizona started to stir.

And then, Arizona sat straight up.

“No! Nononono!” she said hysterically, “I had it all planned out! Look! Candles!” Arizona said and pointed at the table.

“I know, honey, I can see, and thank you for the thought, but you are exhausted.”

“But I’m awake now! I can give you a foot rub **now**! Just… just let me light the candles first and…” she tried to get up, but Callie grabbed her hand and made her listen.

“Arizona, it’s late. Sofia is already in bed, too. It’s okay, I can see how much effort you put into this, and it means a lot to me, it does. But, you are twenty weeks pregnant, you’ve been out all day, and you were with Sof… you are tired. That’s okay. Let’s just get you to bed. Okay?”

“I’m so sorry, Calliope.”

“Honey, it’s okay.”

“I really tried,” Arizona pleaded, feeling guilty.

“I know. We’ll just do it another time. Okay?”

“Okay,” Arizona said in disappointment, feeling like she let Callie down.

“You didn’t let me down,” Callie said.

“How did you…?”

“Come on, Arizona, I know you. And everything looks perfect, and it will look perfect again on the rain check, okay?”

“Okay,” Arizona said softly, seeing the sincerity in Callie’s eyes.  “Can I sleep now?” she asked, making Callie laugh.

“Yes, you can.”

* * *

“Wake up, pretty lady,” a soft voice said.

Callie couldn’t tell much about her surroundings, but she could tell there was hovering.

“Arizona?” she asked groggily. “What time is it?”

“It’s 10 AM,” Arizona said happily, “you slept in.”

“Oh my god, why did you let me sleep so late?” Callie asked in horror.

“Hmm…because you needed it and deserved it? Just like you deserve this,” Arizona said and cheerfully presented the bed tray that was resting on the foot of the bed.

“Breakfast in bed, ah?” Callie asked with a raised eyebrow, suspecting that it had something to do with the previous night’s failed attempt at pampering Callie.

“And that’s not all! While you were getting your beauty sleep, I called Meredith and asked her if Sofia could hang out with Zola and Bailey today, and….I booked us a spa day!” Arizona announced victoriously.

 “Arizona you really don’t need to try so hard,” Callie reassured and smiled softly. She was barley awake, but the joy oozing from the other woman was infectious.

“I know, but I want to.”

“Arizona…”

“No! I promised you a foot rub! Rubbing was promised, and I plan on delivering!”  Arizona said.

“Okay! Okay!” Callie agreed, knowing resistance was futile.

“And this way, you don’t need to worry about my girly hands!” Arizona said cheerfully.

“They are actually very soft, it can be quite soothing,” Callie offered.

“Shut up. Eat your breakfast, get your ass out of bed and get ready. We’re dropping Sof off and then it’s just me and you and rubbing.”

“Okay, but you need to listen more carefully to the words that sometimes come out of your mouth,” Callie stated.

“Bye!” Arizona said, not fazed by Callie’s comment, and skipped out of the room.

Callie thought that maybe a five months pregnant woman shouldn’t be skipping.

* * *

They were sitting on comfortable massage couches, side by side, and been getting the promised, much needed, foot rub. Callie had to admit the she was enjoying herself. She could tell it made Arizona happy, and that, in turn, made **her** happy. She felt relaxed, and calm. Until.

“I think it’s great you guys are taking the time to relax,” One of her masseuses said, clearly referring to Arizona’s pregnancy. “How long have you two been together?”

“Oh, we’re not…” Arizona tried to explain immediately, while Callie’s snorting cut her off. She gave her a glare.

“What did you expect Arizona? You booked us a couple’s massage, and you are pregnant,” Callie said, and noticed both their masseuses redden in embarrassment. 

“I just thought that we were a couple of **people** , going for a massage. Hence couple’s massage!” Arizona defended.

“You’re a dork,” Callie stated.

“I’m so sorry!” the girl said, but both women ignored her.

“You’re being mean, Calliope, I just want you to enjoy!” Arizona whined.

“I **am** enjoying. And so should you. Relax,” Callie said, took Arizona’s hand in hers between the chairs, and closed her eyes.

Arizona smiled at her, and did the same.

It was working. Seconds later, she couldn’t even remember what they were arguing about. She was too busy feeling great.

* * *

“Thanks, Arizona, today has been really great, I mean it,” Callie said as they walked into the house.

“It’s been my pleasure, Calliope, really,” Arizona said softly and smiled.

They just got back from a day full of pampering, and Sofia has decided, unsurprisingly, to turn her play date with Zola into an overnight affair, leaving the two women alone in the house.

“I’m gonna wash up,” Callie said and Arizona nodded as each went to her own room.

Callie was supposed to get ready for dinner with Maureen, but she couldn’t help but feeling like Arizona was a bit distant, or at the very least, quiet. She thought maybe Arizona just needed some space. Between spending the previous day with Sofia, and all day with Callie, maybe all she needed was some me time, Callie figured.

When she finally came into the living room after her shower, she was surprised to see Arizona sitting on the couch, staring at the ceiling. This was no need for space, Callie realized, this was something else.

“What is it?” Callie said and made Arizona jump. She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn’t even hear Callie walk into the room. Callie noticed that she wiped a tear very quickly.

“Oh, Calliope, you scared me. It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

“Arizona…” Callie demanded.

“No, Callie. Today was supposed to be about you, and relaxing, and having fun. I don’t wanna ruin it,” she said and got up, fully intended to wallow in her own misery, within the confines of her room.

“You won’t be ruining anything,” Callie said and grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving the room.

“It’s just my dumb fears,” Arizona said and hid her face in her hands, “you don’t want to hear about that.”

“Your fears aren’t dumb. Tell me,” Callie demanded and pulled Arizona back to the couch.

For a few moments Arizona just let Callie stare at her while she was trying to gather the courage to speak her mind.

“What if I lose the baby again?” she asked quietly, her voice cracking, and Callie immediately understood. “I know, it’s silly.”

“It’s not silly and you won’t lose the baby,” Callie stated matter-of-factly.

“This family has a history of not carrying to term, so how can you possibly know that,” Arizona asked miserably.

“Well, because you’re done with your first trimester and because we really, **really** want this to work, remember?”

Arizona smiled at her softly, not entirely convinced.

“You won’t lose the baby again. **We** won’t lose the baby again,” Callie repeated, and then pulled the heavy guns. “Do you believe me?”

“Callie, don’t do this. It’s okay to not make a promise you’re not sure you can keep.”

“I’m not promising you anything,” Callie clarified, “I’m just speaking about what I feel. I’m telling you **my** truth.”

Arizona examined her for a moment and understood what the other woman was trying to say. She was saying her gut told her that everything was going to be okay.

“Then yes,” Arizona said, “I believe you.”

“No doubts?” Callie pushed.

“No doubts,” Arizona agreed.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Callie was trying to read Arizona’s expression, to figure out what she was thinking.

“Did I ever tell you what was the worst day of my life?” Arizona asked suddenly.

“Not officially, no,” Callie said, trying to understand why they were talking about this all of a sudden. “But I guess I can take a pick between your brother, the plane crash, and the amputation,” Callie said softly. For a while now, no subject was taboo between them. Every subject was fair game as long as the tone was considerate and that the personal information wasn’t being used in a violating way. Arizona thought just that as she gave Callie a weak smile and then shook her head.

“No?” Callie asked in surprise.

“All were very hard,” Arizona admitted. “With Tim, I felt like a part of me was taken, with the amputation, a part of me was actually taken, and with the plane crash I just thought I was gonna die.”

“Just…” Callie noted, not liking how casual Arizona made it sound.

“Yeah, I mean, I was sad, and hopeless, but at some point, especially when you are so physically weak, you accept your faith. So I thought, worst case scenario, **I** would end.”

“What can be worse than that, Arizona?”

“Worse than that is to stay here, on this earth, but feel like I’ve died. Feel like I’ve died every day. That’s how I felt the day of the car crash. For a while, I lost hope. I shouldn’t have, I should’ve been stronger, but I thought you would be gone, I thought…” she choked on her words, “I thought Sofia would be gone. **That** was the worst day of my life.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” Callie asked, not angrily, in concern.

“I just wanted you to know what my priorities were,” referring to their family, to their yet to be born daughter. Explaining the fear. Explaining what mattered to her the most.

“I know what your priorities are, Arizona,” Callie said and it gotten quiet between them for a few moments.

“The worst day of **my** life,” Callie said and took Arizona’s hand, “was when the plane crashed. I thought you were gone, too, and the world stopped moving.”

Now they were both tearing.

“See?” Arizona said. “This was supposed to be a fun day!”

“It **was** a fun day, Arizona. Now, here’s an idea, I’m gonna make us some hot coco, we will watch a movie, I mean, why should Sof have all the fun, and we agree no more people dying and crashing, deal?” Callie said, challenging Arizona to disagree.

“Deal,” Arizona agreed. “Thank you, Calliope. You are taking care of me, again,” she said, embarrassed.

“Hey, we are taking care of each other in this family, okay?” Callie said, as her phone buzzed.

“Okay,” Arizona gave in, while Callie texted someone back.

“Good, I’ll be right back,” Callie said, kissed Arizona on the cheek, and crossed the room to make the promised hot coco.

Arizona was sitting on the couch, watching Callie’s back, thinking that even if things will get bad again, pregnancy or otherwise, they won’t let each other fade away into nothingness. At least, if nothing else, they were partners.

She could feel something vibrating and as she turned her head to find out what it was, she saw Callie got a text from Maureen. She could see it displayed on the screen of the forgotten phone.

‘Oh, too bad. Was really looking forward to seeing you tonight :(‘

Callie walked back with two mugs in her hands and handed one to Arizona.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Arizona said, “but you got a text and I instinctively looked at the screen. You skipped your date for me?”

“I had to,” Callie said and waived her off.

“No, you didn’t,” Arizona said, not entirely sure if she was angry or not. How was she supposed to not feel… things, when Callie did something like that? “This is not something we do. You are not bound to this house, you know.”

“You are my family, you needed me, you were talking about things we’ve been through **together**. It wasn’t a big deal, I’m gonna see her tomorrow for lunch, now shut up and pick a movie,” Callie said and Arizona pouted.

“Stop pouting, you are happy I am here,” Callie stated.

Arizona didn’t say anything to that, but when she put Callie’s favorite movie in, Callie couldn’t help but smirk.

* * *

 

**A/N** : I really wanted Arizona to freak out a bit because this is part of her facing something that ended badly the previous time she tried it. And I thought that her discovering the gender would be a turning point because now there was also some identity attached to the thing growing inside of her, and I felt like it’ll make things scary for her. Only this time, Callie had the chance to be there for her, and Arizona got to push through the fear. To just suck it up. Because sometimes, when you’re afraid, you just need to talk yourself into doing something.


	12. Chapter 12

“Callie! Callie! Callie!” Arizona squealed as the door opened and Callie walked in. It was Arizona’s day off and she’s been waiting for Callie to come back since that morning. “You’re home!”

“Arizona! Arizona! Arizona! Hmm, yes, I am,” Callie said in confusion, “which happens at least once a day yet I don’t remember ever receiving such a warm welcome before,” she added with a smile.

“It’s just… something happened,” Arizona explained, “something good. And I didn’t want to text you. I wanted to tell you in person, and I thought I had to wait until tonight, but you’re here early!” she said with excitement.

“Yeah, my surgery got cancelled, and now I’m kinda glad it did. What happened? Did we win something?!” Callie asked.

“Wait right here!” Arizona said and bolted out of the room.

“Women are insane,” Callie said to the empty room, “and oh, so delicious.”

“Here!” Arizona said and walked into the room, holding the stethoscope she kept at home in her hand.

“Hmm… you wanted to tell me about your stethoscope? Because I see those every single day,” Callie said. “Unless… you wanted to play doctor? But Arizona, it can get awkward,” Callie teased.

“No, you moron, come here,” she said and sat on the couch.  When Callie joined her, she handed her the stethoscope. “Put it in your ears.”

“Arizona…”

“Just trust me and do it!” she ordered and Callie did as she was told. Arizona took the chest piece and put it on her own baby bump.

“What are you…?”

“Shhh!” Arizona said, irritated, “just listen.”

And Callie did, because she finally understood what Arizona was telling her to do. For a few moments, she didn’t hear anything, but then she did, for the first time, her daughter’s heartbeat.

“Oh my god, Arizona!”

“I know!”

“This is amazing! I can’t believe we haven’t thought of that before!” Callie said.

“Well, it wasn’t really doable until three weeks ago but then, I guess, we had so many other things on our minds. This is just a little thing.”

“A **huge** little thing!” Callie said.

“Agreed!”

“Wait, then what made you think about this today?” Callie asked and Arizona’s eyes filled with joy. “What happened?!” Callie asked in excitement.

“Well,” Arizona started, “what I **really** wanted to tell you is… she kicked this morning, Callie! She finally kicked!”

“What?! I can’t believe I missed it!”

“I was sad, too, but I have a feeling it’s gonna become her new favorite thing,” Arizona reassured.

“She did it more than once?” Callie asked in hope.

“Few times throughout the day. Every few hours.”

“How does it feel?” Callie asked softly, knowing that Arizona never got to the point of experiencing that the last time she was pregnant.

“It feels **amazing** ,” Arizona said in teary eyes.

“We should celebrate,” Callie said, “our place? Tonight?”

“ **Our** place?” Arizona said with a smirk.

“Come on, Arizona, we were there on all the important occasions since we started this thing. I think it’s safe to say it’s our place,” Callie said with a smile.

“We weren’t there when we told Sofia she was going to have a sister,” Arizona noted.

“Yeah, well, they don’t have Mac n’ Cheese on the menu, sue me!”

“I am only teasing, Calliope. I would **love** to go celebrate at our place tonight. Which means we need to find a sitter,” Arizona said.

“On it!” Callie said and picked up her cell phone to make a call.

“Oh my god! Tam Tam is kicking again!” Arizona said and jumped off the couch, “Sof!” she called and made Sofia rush into the room and straight towards her mama. She’s been expecting to be called.

“What do you mean, **Sof**?” Callie said bitterly and hung up the phone. “Doesn’t the other parent get to feel it first?” she asked as Sofia put her hand on Arizona’s baby bump.

“Oh my god, Mama! I can feel it!”

“I’m sorry, Calliope,” Arizona said apologetically, “she’s been waiting for her sister to kick ever since she came home from school.”

“Mommy, mommy! She’s kicking! She’s saying hello!” Sofia said and warmed her mothers’ hearts.

“Well, I suppose that since you look so adorable talking to your sister, I will forgive you. But now move. I wanna say hello, too,” Callie demanded and Sofia glared at her, making Arizona chuckle.

Sofia moved and Callie gently put her hand on Arizona’s body, but nothing happened.

“Come on, Tamster, kick for mommy,” Callie said to Arizona’s stomach, but nothing happened. “Unbelievable!”  Callie said and stood up. “You stole mommy’s hello,” she said to Sofia, “that’s not very nice.”

“She just loves me more than she loves you, mommy,” Sofia said, shrugged, and went back to her room.

Arizona was trying to hold her laughter, but when Callie turned to her and glared, she couldn’t help but burst into a deep laughter.

“This is not funny, Arizona!”

“I’m so sorry, Calliope! She came earlier and begged that I call her when Tamara kicks again. I couldn’t tell her no. But oh god, your face right now!” Arizona said and kept laughing.

“Laugh all you want,” Callie said, “but revenge will be mine!” She announced and left the room.

“Wait, what about dinner?!” Arizona called after her. “Calliope? Calliope!”

* * *

“Your chariot awaits,” Callie said jokingly when Arizona opened her bedroom door.

Callie was wearing her tight red dress, her hair looked wavey, and she even chose a few accessories this time around. She looked incredible.

“Look at you, all dolled up!” Arizona said nonchalantly, basically like she was giving a compliment to a friend, but she was starting to feel a bit flush.  Callie’s dress was doing funny things to her. ‘Those damn hormones,’ she thought, replaying the same old record. It was much easier to stay in control when Callie didn’t choose to present a generous cleavage to the world.

“It’s a special occasion, Arizona. Tam Tam kicked for the first time today, come on!” Callie said as to explain the extra effort.

“Well, now I feel like an ugly underdressed monster truck, let me go change,” Arizona said and turned around, but Callie grabbed her wrist.

“Don’t you dare, you look fantastic, come on!” Callie said and pulled Arizona out of the room before the other woman had a chance to object.

Callie thought Arizona looked beautiful. Her hair was down, and she wore a knitted blue/white striped dress with black tights, and while the dress was simple, it was still really pretty.

“Callie! Come on! Let me change, you’re only saying that because you don’t want us to be late!” Arizona said and made Callie stop in her tracks and turn around to look at her.

“Correction,” Callie said. “I’m saying this because you look fantastic, **and** because I don’t want us to be late. Now come on!” she said and walked out of the door, leaving Arizona no other choice but to follow her.                                                                                            

* * *

 

Dinner was great. The food was amazing, as always, Callie’s wine was amazing - she got a glare from Arizona for mentioning it - but mostly, they just enjoyed each other’s company. Ever since their spa day a few weeks before, they hadn’t had a chance to sit down and relax in a child free zone. Talk in an R rated language.

They didn’t want the night to end, but they had to go home and release the sitter from Sofia duty, and put their girl to bed.

“I’ve got this,” Callie said when the check arrived.

“No, Callie it’s fine,” Arizona objected.

“Come on Arizona, let me treat two of my favorite girls. Especially, let me treat the mother of my unborn child for carrying her **this** long,” Callie said and took the check.

“You **always** treat me to things, Callie,” Arizona argued.

“Yeah, well, when you eat, you’re feeding Tammy, so technically, this is about child care,” Callie said and winked.

“You’re impossible,” Arizona said as Callie signed the check.

“So are you,” Callie said teasingly. “I better go use the bathroom before we leave,” she added and stood up.

“Yeah, I’ll join you and live up to my reputation as a pregnant lady.”

“Yeah, what is it? Third time since we got here?” Callie teased again as they started walking towards the bathroom.

“Forth, actually,” Arizona corrected in pride.

“I love how you’re acting like you deserve some sort of a prize,” Callie said.

“Oh, I deserve all the awards,” Arizona stated as they walked into the bathroom.

Callie snorted as she entered a stall.

A couple of minutes later, they met again by the sinks, Callie was standing next to Arizona, wiping her hands dry with a paper towel, while Arizona washed her hands. As Callie was throwing the used paper towel into the trash can, Arizona stood up straight suddenly and sharply.

 “Arizona? What is it? Are you okay?” Callie asked in concern and turned to look at the other woman.

Arizona said nothing but quickly grabbed Callie’s hand and put it on her belly.

“Oh my god,” Callie said in a near whisper and breathed out when she felt the kick, her eyes started to tear in joy, and a huge smile spread on her face. “I felt it! I felt it!” Callie said excitedly and Arizona laughed in joy.  “Arizona…” Callie said in a near whisper again.

Upon hearing her name being said breathlessly, the other woman couldn’t help herself anymore. She leaned in and kissed Callie. A gentle kiss, almost a peck, but it lasted longer, and if felt like heaven.

A second later she realized what she was doing and pulled back.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” she said and looked at Callie who had an unreadable expression on her face.

She didn’t know what came over her. She just knew that she saw so much joy in Callie’s eyes, that it made her feel happy, and full of gratitude. Callie was so close, and so **so** beautiful, that Arizona gave in to what she wanted at that moment, what she had wanted for a while.

But that was the instinct, and now came the aftershock.

“Callie, I’m sorry, I don’t know what…”

“Don’t,” Callie said and made Arizona look down. “Arizona…” she said, willing her to look back up. But the other woman just wanted to apologize again.

“I’m sorry, really, I wasn’t think…” and then Callie grabbed her by the neck and pulled her in for a heated kiss, a kiss of real reconnecting. A kiss of exploring every single corner of each other’s mouths. Of remembering the past, and conquering the future. Of bringing down walls and barriers. **That** kind of a kiss.

And then just like it started, it ended and they pulled apart.

“Don’t say that you’re sorry,” Callie said breathlessly.

* * *

Callie didn’t know what to think. She was standing in the hallway, watching the bathroom door, waiting for the moment Arizona will come out so she could corner her.

After they kissed, Arizona bolted outside of the bathroom and straight into their car for the ride home, during which, she chose to ignore Callie.

Then, when they got home, Arizona had the perfect excuse not to talk to Callie in the form of their daughter’s bedtime, after which she bolted straight into the bathroom, and that’s where she were in the last twenty minutes.

On the one hand, Callie was upset. She didn’t appreciate being ignored and she didn’t appreciate not talking about things as big as what happened. On the other hand, she appreciated the time to think, to analyze things.

They shared a kiss. An **amazing** , life altering kiss. Just like that, in a middle of a bathroom, completely out of the blue.

‘But was it really that out of the blue?’ Callie asked herself.

 For weeks now there were signs. If she was really looking, really letting herself understand, she would’ve seen them everywhere. In everything both of them did. In the ways they cared for one other. In the way Arizona **was** the driving force in her life. In the way that Callie didn’t mind.

And then, she realized with clarity, what she felt. What she suspected, she maybe never stopped feeling.

She’d give Arizona the night, she figured, but tomorrow was talking time.

* * *

Arizona had been locked in the bathroom for twenty five minutes now, fighting the urge to smash her head into the wall and call herself names.

Things were good. Things were **so** good. Why did she have to go and ruin everything? Why did she have to bring something back from the dead?

But then a tiny voice in the back her head whispered ‘she kissed you back.’ Arizona tried to ignore the tiny voice, but it kept coming back, and it was getting louder and louder. ‘She kissed you back, there was definitely back kissing.”

But she kept fighting the voice, telling herself that their physical chemistry was never the issue. They were always drawn to each other that way.

“Hormones?” she asked her reflection in the mirror, but her question was not answered.

* * *

When Arizona opened her bedroom door to start her day the following morning, she found Callie standing crossed armed right in front of her.

“Holly shit!” Arizona yelled in surprise.

“Are you gonna talk to me now?” Callie said without missing a beat. She gave the other woman respect and space the night before, but she wasn’t going to let them ignore what happened. She was never going to let them ignore anything else, ever again.

“My water nearly broke, Callie!”

“Nuh huh, you are **not** going to distract me with baby talk. We are gonna talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Callie,” Arizona said and passed Callie to go to the kitchen.

“No, Arizona, don’t give me that. You know damn well that there **is** something to talk about,” Callie said as she followed Arizona. “You kissed me, and I want to know why.”

“I have no excuse, okay?” Arizona said and turned around to look at Callie. “I wasn’t even drunk. Obviously. It was just a mistake.”

“Was it?” Callie said, challenging.

“Old habits, instinct and whatnot,” Arizona waved her off.

“ **Really**?”

“I don’t want to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable,” Arizona admitted quietly and started walking towards the kitchen again.

“What if I don’t feel uncomfortable?” Callie asked without moving from her spot.

“Wait, what?” Arizona asked, stopping dead in her tracks and turning to look at Callie again.

“Did you do this because of the hormones?” Callie asked.

“No,” Arizona finally spoke her truth, “I did it because I wanted to, but Callie…”

“Did it matter who you did it with?” Callie continued pushing.

“Of course it mattered, but Callie…”

“Then… no. I was a willing participate. Obviously, I don’t feel uncomfortable,” Callie concluded.

“But what if **I** feel uncomfortable?” Arizona asked quietly and Callie looked at her in shock.

“Hmm… **you** kissed **me** , in a bathroom. **Again** ,” Callie said, throwing her hands in the air.

Arizona was scared. She wasn’t sure she could to this again. With other people? Maybe. But she knew for years that Callie was the love of her life. Sure, they could get along, and be best friends, but there was something extra. Always there, buried under their friendship and under putting Sofia’s needs first. And Arizona thought that if she let loose, if she lets this something extra out, and things didn’t go well, she wouldn’t be able to recover. Not again. Not ever.

She thought something was changing between them in the past few weeks. But Callie had **just** been on another date with Maureen a few days before, so how could she possibly, in all seriousness, feel the same as Arizona did? No. Arizona was gonna shut this down before everything spiraled out of control.

“So that’s that?” Callie asked, pulling Arizona out of her inner struggle. “We’re gonna keep living in the same house and ignore what happened?”

“We’re not ignoring,” Arizona said and started walking again, “we had a plan, and we’re just sticking to the plan. That’s all.”

“And what is the plan exactly, Arizona?” Callie asked bitterly “roommates with benefits?”

“Absolutely not! There are no benefits! Benefits were not part of the plan! We’re not gonna talk about this anymore, Callie!” Arizona said and finally went out of Callie’s sight and into the living room.

“Oh, yes, we most certainly will,” Callie said to the empty hallway.

* * *

**A/N:This**  is the dress Arizona is wearing in this chapter. 

For those of you who want to sort the time line out, this is about 8 months after they had the initial talk about having the baby. Arizona is on week 23 of her pregnancy (yeah, I know which week she is in every single chapter. I’m a bit nuts.)

Another important thing is - as a person who has issues with cheating, and since I believe Callie would, too, after everything she's been through, I want to clarify that Callie and Maureen never had the exclusivity talk. They weren’t officially together and Callie knows that and will make sure she’s not the only one who knows that.

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Callie was sleeping on the couch. It wasn’t punishment, it was a very aware choice that she made all on her own. Now that Arizona was towards the end of her second trimester, Callie was afraid Arizona would need her in the middle of the night and Callie won’t hear her, won’t be there fast enough in case something happened. She wasn’t taking any chances.

Arizona thought Callie was being ridiculous, yet secretly, the thoughtfulness of the other woman warmed her heart.

She was sitting quietly in the dark living room, watching the beautiful woman sleeping peacefully, and she knew, then and there, that she loved her. The gate was open, there was no going back to bury these feelings, and she was completely screwed.

It made her feel terrified. **Callie** made her feel terrified. Being pregnant and being terrified was not a good combination.

She thought about their first big fight after Callie broke up with her. Arizona blamed Callie for sleeping with her the night before Callie broke them up. She accused her of knowing already yet still going for the physical contact out of selfishness, one last time.

She could never again feel the way the aftermath of that night made her feel, ever. She couldn’t put herself in that position.

The thing was, she was nearly certain the other woman would never make her feel that way again, never put her in that position.

Nearly being the watchword.

* * *

“So, what? Was it a goodbye?” Arizona asked accusingly.

“No, Arizona, I didn’t know. It didn’t hit me until we got to the therapist’s office,” Callie swore.

Arizona was standing in Callie’s hotel room. It took Callie a month, but she finally left the house, and it took Arizona a couple more weeks, but she finally came to tell Callie what was eating at her, what she’d been thinking for weeks but couldn’t bring up.

“How could you possibly not have known?! A day after, Callie! A freaking **day** and you broke up with me!”

“I didn’t **want** to know, Arizona! **That’s** how it’s possible! This wasn’t about saying goodbye. I thought it was a reunion!”

“Well, I don’t believe you,” Arizona said coldly.

“Well, there’s nothing I can do about it,” Callie said quietly, sadly. She seemed defeated.

“Yes. Yes there is,” Arizona said and walked towards Callie. She was now so close, they were practically breathing the same air.

“Arizona… no,” Callie pleaded. It’s not that she didn’t want to. It’s that she did. That was the problem. She always wanted to.

“Why?” Arizona asked, and she seemed so vulnerable to Callie. “What about me? Don’t I get to say goodbye?” she said in a chocked voice.

When Callie didn’t move, Arizona leaned in and kissed her. They were angry, they were sad, and they were also still very much in love. That kiss conveyed all of that.

“I get to say goodbye, too,” she whispered.

And then she did, over and over again for about a month, before Callie finally cut her off completely, breaking Arizona’s heart into pieces.

“Arizona, we can’t do this anymore,” she said, voice barely audible.

“Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do,” Arizona said angrily, feeling like Callie was really slipping out of her grasp, permanently.  

“It’s for your own good,” Callie said, the sadness and heartbreak evident in her eyes, voice, body language.

“We can still have sex even if we’re not together,” Arizona argued.

“No, Arizona, we can’t.”

“Why the hell not?” Arizona asked bitterly and Callie sighed.

“Because… when I have sex with you, it’s because I feel guilty. And because I love you.”

“Don’t say that,” Arizona spat angrily. She really didn’t feel loved. She looked away from Callie.

“And…” Callie said and gently put her hand on Arizona’s chin to make her look at her, “when you have sex with **me** , it’s because **you** love **me** , and in the end, we’re just postponing the inevitable and it will just hurt more.”

Arizona looked past Callie but said nothing.

“You wanted a chance to say goodbye, it’s right in front of you,” Callie said and leaned in for a last kiss. One that they both knew was the last, this time. But Arizona turned her head away. She didn’t want to do this. She was being walked out on. Again.

“I’m sorry,” Callie said quietly, and got into the shower, hoping Arizona will be gone by the time she came out. She was.

Arizona resented her for that for so long, but months later, long months during which Callie hardly interacted with her, she finally understood. Or more accurately, she always understood, but she finally felt. 

* * *

Sitting in front of the love of her life now, remembering those painful moments, she was contemplating just ignoring everything, keep on pretending nothing happened, and live in her bubble of no romance, but of parenthood and professional satisfaction.

Then she remembered that’s exactly what the old Arizona would do. That’s exactly what the old **them** would do.

They promised to be honest, and right now, Arizona wasn’t exactly lying, but she was in that in between zone where she wasn’t saying the truth either. She knew better.

She wanted to talk to Callie. She **needed** to talk to Callie, and she knew Callie wanted to talk to her, too. But how would they even deal with… them, considering everything that was already happening? Won’t it hurt the chances of what they were in the middle of creating?

They were creating a family. Yes, they weren’t together, but they were already parenting together and they were going to parent together some more. That’s family right there.

If Callie and her try to rebuild themselves romantically, and they failed, would she find herself being a single mother to a second child? Because she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to do that, and legally Callie wasn’t bind to them in any way.

She sat there in the dark, letting all of her thoughts drive her away from everything, from the woman sleeping in front of her. But a strong, undeniable sense of longing, of belonging, kept her exactly where she was supposed to be.

* * *

“Good morning,” Arizona said as she walked into the kitchen.

“Morning,” Callie said. She was sitting by the table, eating cereals.

“Sofia?” Arizona asked, trying to keep some physical distance between her and Callie.

“Dropped her off at school. I don’t have to go in until later today,” Callie explained.

“Good, that’s good,” Arizona said. It’s been a week since they’ve kissed. Some mornings were completely normal, some, like this one, were on the verge of awkward.

“So, how did you sleep?” Callie asked nonchalantly.

“Tam Tam knocked me right out. Pregnancy could be a solution that people with sleeping disorders might wanna consider.”

“Except for the peeing during the night,” Callie noted.

“Except for the peeing during the night,” Arizona agreed. “How did **you** sleep last night?” Arizona asked in concern. She really thought Callie should start sleeping in a bed again.

“Yeah, I slept great. Until I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep again,” Callie said casually.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Calliope. Maybe you should… you know, sleep in a bed?” Arizona suggested.

“Or maybe…” Callie said, put her spoon down and looked directly at Arizona, “I should forbid certain people from watching me in my sleep. It’s very distracting.”

Arizona looked at her in guilt.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” was all she could say.

“Arizona Robbins, you deprived me of my sleep last night, and I didn’t even get lucky. What do you have to say for yourself?” Callie asked.

“Hmmm… busted?” Arizona tried.

“Not good enough.”

“Isn’t it too early for this kind of talk, Callie?” Arizona suggested.

“Arizona…”

Arizona sighed. She was hoping to postpone this moment a while longer, but she couldn’t, and in all fairness, Callie deserved better than this. If it was up to the other woman, they would’ve talked about this the night it happened.

“I really thought we were done,” Arizona finally admitted quietly and sat next to Callie.

“Me too,” Callie said softly and took Arizona’s hand.

“We’re not done, are we?” Arizona asked.

“I don’t think so, no.”

Arizona started laughing hysterically.

“Why are you laughing, Arizona?”

“I cried myself to sleep for months and took two years to pull myself from this dark hole I was in, but, apparently, I still love you. Shit,” Arizona said, half shocked that she blew all caution to the wind and actually uttered the words, half liberated that she finally let go.

“Oh, yes, what every girl longs to hear. ‘I still love you. Shit,” Callie said sarcastically.

“Well, what do you want me to say, Calliope? You can’t expect me to be happy about this!” Arizona said angrily.

“Why shouldn’t you be happy about this, Arizona? It’s not like it’s unrequited!” Callie shot back.

“What are you saying?” Arizona asked carefully.

“I’m saying that shit, I love you too, you idiot,” Callie said so sincerely that it took Arizona’s breath away.

“But you called us… you said we were roommates with benefits!”

“I was mocking you!”

“It’s not funny, Callie.”

“Well, obviously.”

 “What about Maureen?” Arizona asked quietly, averting her gaze from Callie’s.

“We were just having fun. We never even talked about exclusivity. I ended it the day after you kissed me,” Callie said, causing Arizona to look at her again.

“Really?” Arizona asked, seeming completely vulnerable.

“Arizona, I just told you that I love you. Of course I ended it.”

“How did she take it?” Arizona asked cautiously. She felt like she was the other woman in this scenario.

“How did she take me withholding sex from her for months, and then, just when I let her believe it’s about to happen I break up with her because I’m still in love with my ex-wife?” Callie asked ironically, “yeah, not good.”

“Jesus, Callie, all this time and you two haven’t…?”

“No. I barley had the time to see her as it is.  In retrospect, I guess my heart wasn’t really in it. Clearly,” Callie said and chuckled at her own joke.

“Why didn’t you tell me when you broke up?” Arizona asked, hurt. They were supposed to be best friends. They were supposed to be able to talk about anything.

“Because I didn’t want you to do the guilt thing and I knew you would. You’re doing it right now. I can see it on your face. The last thing you should feel is guilt,” Callie said firmly. “Also…I didn’t want to put any pressure on you. Even if you and I weren’t going to pursue this, I’m still in love with you. I can’t keep leading the poor woman on, intentionally, or not.”

“Okay,” Arizona said and gotten quiet for a moment. “ **Are** we going to pursue this?” she asked.

“You bet your gorgeous ass we are,” Callie said without missing a beat, giving Arizona a hungry look.

“My ass is pregnant, and I think I’ve seen a stretch mark,” Arizona said, feeling extremely self-conscious under Callie’s scrutinizing look.

“And yet, somehow you still manage to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met,” Callie said and stood up. “So, yes, we’re pursuing this. And we will pursue this some more, later tonight, because now I have to go to work,” Callie said, put her bowl in the sink, and left the room before Arizona could object. Not that she was going to.

* * *

“Hi,” Callie said later that night, as she walked into the living room where Arizona was sitting on the couch. Callie looked around to make sure there was no Sofia around, and leaned down to peck Arizona’s lips.

“Hmm, hi,” Arizona hummed in content.

“What are we doing exactly?” Callie asked and flopped next to Arizona.

“Well, I was trying to watch some TV, and you just got here, so…”

“No, I mean, what are **we** doing?” Callie clarified.

“Wow, you’re all about the going straight into the big questions lately, aren’t you?” Arizona asked and gave Callie half a smile.

“I just had time to think today, and many things are confusing, but what I know for sure is that I don’t want us to just fly blind. Not when we have Sofia and Tam Tam, not when… it’s us. You know?” Callie hoped Arizona would understand where she was coming from rather than feel like Callie was pushing her.

“Well,” Arizona said and leaned in to peck Callie’s lips again, “for now, I’m perfectly fine with receiving a kiss every time you come back home, and I’m also okay with squeezing in a make out session when the kid isn’t around.”

“Which is nice, and tempting and already puts us in a better starting point than this morning, but, I mean…are we girlfriends?” Callie asked and Arizona couldn’t help but laugh, seeing how hard it was for Callie to ask the question.

“I think that the girlfriend part usually comes before the ‘I love yous,’ Calliope,” Arizona teased.

“We already established that we’re unorthodox,” Callie said and leaned her head on Arizona’s shoulder.

“Which is very inconvenient because there are no guide books,” Arizona noted.

“How to figure shit out with my ex-wife who I’m still in love with, and having a baby with even though we’re still divorced and also we already have a kid?” Callie asked

“For dummies,’ Arizona added and they both giggled and then sat in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“How was your day, Calliope?” Arizona asked in genuine interest.

“God, I love when you call me that,” Callie said in a half a whisper. “I love **you** ,” she said and brought her head up to look into Arizona’s eyes before leaning in and giving her a bit more than a peck. They were lost in one another for a few moments, not daring to cross a certain line. Not before they discuss a few more things.

“Don’t you think we should go and talk to someone about… this?” Callie asked as they broke the kiss.

“Why?” Arizona asked in concern and Callie laid her head down on Arizona’s lap, making sure she wasn’t hurting her.

“Because you kiss me and I feel like everything is gonna be okay, great, even, and I want to know that this feeling isn’t temporary, or deceiving,” Callie admitted as she looked up at Arizona.

“Do you really think **this** is deceiving?” Arizona asked and smiled softly.

“Arizona…”

“Last time we went to therapy you broke up with me, so… I’m not too crazy about the idea,” Arizona explained.

“Arizona, I want this to work. I want **us** to work. I don’t want us to make the same mistakes. I don’t want this to be about nostalgia,” Callie said sincerely.

“Nostalgia isn’t all that bad,” Arizona said and played with Callie’s hair.

“Not **all** bad, no,” Callie agreed.

“But I want more,” Arizona concluded.

“I want more too.”


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N** : A few words about last chapter’s flashback: I kind of always figured they will keep sleeping with each other for a while after the breakup, so it made sense to me to insert it as part of the story. I’m actually surprised they haven’t done it on the show.

* * *

They were sitting on the couch, Arizona’s hands were fidgeting. Callie watched her in concern, and eventually, took her hand in hers, making her stop with the fidgeting.

Callie looked apologetically at the woman who sat in front of them.

“We were both afraid of coming here,” she finally admitted, uttering the first words of the session.

“Why?” Dr. Dawson asked softly.

“Because last time you saw us, well, we didn’t leave this room together,” Callie said sadly, guiltily.

“Yes, but when was that?” she asked. She knew, but she wanted to engage the women.

“Four years ago,” Callie said. She wasn’t going to speak over Arizona or not let the other woman express herself, but if it made it easier for Arizona to just let Callie speak for now, Callie would grant her that.

“Four years ago is a long time. Time heals,” Dr. Dawson said and Callie snorted.

“Just like that? One cliché and we’re fine?” she asked.

“No, not just like that. Remember why you guys split in the first place?”

“I… wanted us both to feel free,” Callie said quietly. She always felt like it was the right decision, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t in pain over it.

“Well I feel pretty darn free. I feel freaking liberated,” Arizona said, and Callie looked at her in surprise. It was her the first thing she said since they got there.

“Also, that was last time I’ve seen **you** , Callie,” the doctor said.

“What do you mean?” Callie asked in confusion.

“She means I kept coming,” Arizona said quietly.

“You did?” Callie asked. The surprises just kept on coming and they were sitting in the room for less than ten minutes.

“Yeah. For a while it was to see if there was anything I could do to hmmm… change your mind, and then… it was to learn how to move forward,” Arizona concluded and bowed her head.

“I’m sorry,” Callie said, knowing that even though separation was the right choice for them, something within Arizona stayed committed to them even when there was no them anymore. Somehow, that knowledge made a difference. 

“I’m not mad anymore, Callie. I understand. I just… I think this had left a scar,” Arizona said sadly.

“On me, too,” Callie said and Arizona nodded at her, knowing it to be true.

Dr. Dawson was staring back and forth between the two women. Towards the last session of their previous round years ago, their physical distance was so evident. Yet, there they were, years later, holding hands with Callie refusing to let Arizona out of her sight.

In her experience, people usually came to therapy for one of two reasons. Either one side wants out and doesn’t know how to let the other know, or the two sides desperately want to make it work. They want to **fight** to make things work. The first time around, it seemed like they wanted out, even if they didn’t realize it when they walked in. This time, however… she wasn’t entirely sure yet, but she was leaning towards the second option.

“Did you guys have sex?” she asked suddenly.

“No,” Callie said, not in frustration, but in honesty.

“Why not?” the doctor asked in genuine interest.

“Because that’s something the old us would do,” Arizona said and she and Callie smiled at each other, realizing that even though they haven’t discussed it, they shared the same point of view.

“Could you elaborate on that?” the doctor asked.

“It used to be ‘we love each other and none of the rest of it matters,’” Callie explained, “but it does. When we broke up we still loved each other and it wasn’t enough.”

“I think we loved each other this whole time and it wasn’t enough,” Arizona admitted quietly.

“You‘re right,” Callie agreed. “There’s more to it. We were broken, and when we only counted on our feelings to…glue us back together, so many things fell between the cracks. I don’t want it to happen again. This is too important,” she said and turned to look at Arizona “ **you** are too important.”

“I don’t hear the voices anymore,” Arizona said quietly.

“I’m sorry?” Doctor Dawson asked in confusion.

Arizona turned to look at Callie and unlinked their hands in order to use hers to express herself better.

“I don’t know how to make sure things are different in the future, I just know how I feel now,” Arizona said honestly, “and now, I don’t hear the voices anymore.”

“I’m still not sure I understand,” the doctor said while Arizona kept looking at Callie who was listening to her every word attentively.

“Don’t be hurt,” Arizona said to Callie, “but when we used to kiss, that last year, I used to hear voices in the back of my mind. ‘Do I need to pick up some milk after work tomorrow?’ ‘Today’s weather was surprisingly nice,’ ‘We should try this new place downtown,’” Arizona explained and Callie nodded in understanding. “There was still a ‘we’ but there were voices. And now?” Arizona said and a joyful smile appeared on her face. “Now you kiss me and the world stops,” she said and Callie gave her a bright smile. “At least until my brain warns me about the future and I wanna slap that little bitch and tell it to shut up.”

Callie burst into laughter at Arizona’s comment and Arizona looked at her, still smiling.

“Do I sound completely crazy, or do you know what I mean?” Arizona asked and in response, Callie took her hand in hers again.

“I know exactly what you mean. I don’t hear the voices anymore, too,” Callie said and Arizona sighed in relief.

‘Definitely option number two,’ the doctor thought and smiled.

“So what you two are saying, is that you’ve avoided going into the final step of your new found intimacy, until you had the time to process what was going on, and how to do things the right way?”

“I think that’s what we were saying, yes. In way more words,” Callie said and chuckled lightly.

“I remember you guys telling me that physical intimacy was your way of solving, or rather, ignoring problems, so if you ask me, you not jumping straight back to it, but preferring talking things through before, shows a change. It shows… maturing on both sides.”

“Maybe,” Arizona said, not entirely convinced, mostly because she still needed to process everything before she got to a verdict on the subject.

“So you think we should have sex?” Callie asked in cautious interest.

“I think it’s up to you. I think you’re trying to rebuild your relationship, and sex is a big part of it, a beautiful part of it. So, eventually, when you feel like you’re ready, let yourself reconnect that way. Even if all you had to do is receive some validation by coming here. There is no right or wrong, as long as you don’t let it be the foundation of your relationship, or your escapism. Talking and communicating is the foundation of your relationship. Escapism is hopefully not something you need. Not now, anyways.”

“And then there’s Sofia,” Arizona said suddenly.

“Sofia?” Doctor Dawson asked in confusion.

“Yeah,” Callie added, “we didn’t want her to see us… you know, do stuff. I mean… we sat her down months ago for a whole hour just to explain to her how us living under the same roof doesn’t mean mommy and mama are getting back together, and now this?”

“Well, we’ll get to Sofia later. I’m not saying we don’t need to talk about her, because we do, but let’s start with you two, first.”

“We are mothers. Our first concern will always be Sofia,” Callie said and Arizona nodded in agreement. “Can this hurt her? Should we not do this?”

“Anything can hurt her,” the doctor said. “Anything can hurt anyone. If you guys try to get back together, and it doesn’t work, and she feels it, then yes, she’ll be hurt, just like she was hurt when you broke up before. But if you manage to work through it, she gets a united family back. She gets two parents in a loving, committed relationship. You can set a great example for her. You’ll show her that adults can be wrong too, and get hurt too, but they can also overcome. So yes, there’s always something to lose, but there’s also something to gain, something huge in this case.”

“Okay,” Arizona said, again trying to process everything.

“Let me ask you a question,” Doctor Dawson said. “Do you want to be together? For **you**? The first thing you need to ask yourself is what you want for yourself. I know Sofia is your first priority, but you shouldn’t decide whether to be together or apart based on her. Like I said, there’s always something to gain, and always something to lose. What matters, is **how** you do what you decide to do. So, what do **you** want?” she finally asked and Arizona looked at Callie in anticipation.

“I want to be with you,” Callie said to Arizona without missing a beat, without even considering it. “If I’m only thinking about what I want, then I want to be with you. If I’m honest, I know now that you broke me for the rest of the world,” she chuckled. “I don’t think I’ll be good for anyone else. Because I wouldn’t want to be. I want to be with you, but only if you want to be with me. Otherwise, the whole ‘letting you be free’ thing is kind of pointless,” Callie concluded and searched Arizona’s eyes.

“Are you sure, Callie?” Arizona asked, knowing how much was at stake.

“Arizona, I’m sure. Do I think we need to wait a while longer before we tell Sofia? Yes. I don’t want her to get any… I don’t know, ricochets from a fallout. But I want us to do whatever we can to make this work.”

“No one is making us do it, Callie,” Arizona said. “I know there’s a baby involved, and it might make things confusing, but…”

“Arizona, I’m not confused. I want to be with you. You said you feel liberated.”

“I do feel liberated, but it doesn’t mean I’m not scared,” Arizona said.

“Then just think, in all honesty, what do you want? I can’t make this decision for you. I don’t want to. You don’t need to be with me in order to be a mother, or a world renowned surgeon, or anything. Even if we’re not together, I’m still gonna be here for you. So, like you said, no one is making us do it. It’s just up to us, and what we want. I want you. What do you want? And you don’t have to answer that right now. I’m laying it out. I’m not trying to pressure you to make a decision,” Callie said softly, knowing that in the past Arizona didn’t always have the chance she deserved, the chance to process things.

“No, Callie, I know what I want. I mean, this session is so confusing, and gives me so many things to think about, but the one thing that is clear to me is that I want to be with you, too, I want this to work,” Arizona said and Callie smiled widely and leaned in to peck her lips.

“So what now?” Callie asked after their moment was over. “How do we not mess this up?”

“We keep working on things, here with me, and alone at home. Keep talking to one another, about silly things, about important things. Mostly, important things. Don’t let anything get swept under the rug, but, if something gets too intense, pause, and bring it in for the next session. One great tool you guys have is the ‘believe me’ pact. Arizona told me about it years ago. I think it’s wonderful. Use it, for as long as you need, even If it’s for the rest of your lives, and make sure you never abuse it.”

“Isn’t it a bad sign that we just started whatever it is and we’re already in therapy?” Callie asked.

“No,” the doctor said, “it means that you are committed, and responsible, and don’t want to make the same mistakes. And look, Callie, last time you didn’t even want to come here and this time you were the one who gave me the call. You see? Things changed. You two are different.”

“Too different to be together?” Arizona asked in concern.

“Different enough to be together **again** ,” Callie said with certainty.  “There’s something I want to say, here, so we have a witness.”

“O-kay?” Arizona said in concern.

“Don’t worry, Arizona. It’s not bad. I’m sorry for the dramatic build up. This is just for full disclosure. I want you to know that love you, and I respect you. I know myself. I can lose myself in the heat of an argument, or in a feeling, and lose perspective, or do something without realizing how it affects the people I care about. I need you to not worry about hurting my feelings when I do something that hurts and frustrates you, and tell me. I need you to fight me when things happen, not a year later. I need you to know that you’re my equal, that you always have a say. I need you to be my mirror, and, I need you to promise this to me. And if you want, I’ll promise this to you, too,” Callie concluded, and finally took a breath, searching Arizona’s face to see her reaction.

“I promise,” Arizona said, without elaborating.

“Good,” Callie said and sighed in relief, “I promise too.”

Arizona nodded, and smiled. She leaned in to kiss Callie, but Callie could still see a little bit of hesitation in her eyes. She vowed to herself that she was going to do everything in her power in order to rid Arizona of her doubts.

* * *

**A/N** : Fun fact, the therapist’s name **is** actually Doctor (Kim) Dawson. Thanks, IMDB!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N** : Hey guys! So, just to clarify – if you guys don’t remember the “believe me pact” you can find an explanation on the Lauren chapter. Those “do you believe me”s are all over this story, even before the explanation on the mentioned chapter. So I guess what I’m saying is – if you’re confused, read from the start ;) It’s an important motif.

This chapter picks up right where the last one ended, but there’s a mini time jump to a couple of weeks later at some point. You’ll know it when you read it.

* * *

They didn’t have much time to discuss everything that was said in the session. As a matter of fact, they had to go back to work right afterwards. Callie finished before Arizona and wanted to wait for her, but Arizona sent her home.

Which is where Callie was now, pacing, waiting for Arizona to come in. She had been pacing since she got home, which was two hours prior, but she was trying desperately to sort her thoughts, to find what to say.

On the surface, things seemed positive in their session. The general outcome, the things that were said, pointed towards mutual understanding. Still, Callie couldn’t help but feel like Arizona was keeping something from her and that feeling terrified Callie.

Living in the black and white areas of life is very complicated. Everyone dips into the gray every now and then, nothing is absolute. But Callie had a feeling that unless they will be **absolutely** honest, they will fall right back to where they were before.

Callie was wondering what could she do to prevent just that, as the door opened and Arizona walked in.

“Hey,” she said softly and her genuine smile made Callie’s nerves ease somewhat.

“Hey,” Callie said weakly, trying to smile, but she was still in distress and she wasn’t doing a very good job in masking it. Maybe she didn’t want to mask it. Maybe masking was one of the problems.

“Callie, are you okay? You seem a bit pale,” Arizona asked in concern, dropped her bag, and went straight to put her hand on Callie’s forehead to check her temperature.

“I can’t lose you again, Arizona,” Callie blurted. It’s not what she was planning to say, but she was getting so far ahead of herself with over thinking, that she couldn’t help herself. Truth be told, she still didn’t know what she was going to say, anyways.

“What?” Arizona asked in confusion.

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so needy. God.”

“No, Calliope, it’s okay. Talk to me, please,” Arizona pleaded realizing that something serious was going on.

Callie sat down, and gestured Arizona to sit as well. She knew Arizona started to have back pain earlier in the week.

“Are we okay?” she asked. “Because, at the beginning of our session today you said you felt liberated… I though you meant that I make you feel liberated…” she said in pain, “but then you seemed more hesitant, and I know you said it was because you were scared ,but… did I make you not want to try this?” Callie said and the more she spoke, the more her fear grew.

“Callie, it’s not…” Arizona started and sighed. “You **do** make me feel liberated. That’s why I’m scared. It feels so good to be with you, it makes me terrified,” Arizona admitted. “And you didn’t make me not want to try this. Everything you said today… it’s exactly what I wanted to hear. It’s just…”

“What? Arizona, what is it? Tell me, so maybe I can do something about it,” Callie pleaded. Was it ending before it even started?

“I wanted to hate you,” Arizona said suddenly. “I tried to. I knew it would make things easier... But I couldn’t,” she admitted. “I never could.”

“Is this what this is about?” Callie asked. “The past?”

“I told you it left a scar,” Arizona said and smiled sadly. “Trust me. I don’t want to feel this way. It might be something I have to work on by myself. It’s about my feelings. It has nothing to do with you and how you’re behaving towards me,” Arizona said, “you’ve been nothing but amazing to me since we started all of this.”

“Arizona, of course the way you feel has to do with me. You don’t trust me. I mean… you do. You trust me with Sofia, and Tamara and technical stuff like... paying the bills and picking you up from work. But you don’t trust me with your heart again,” Callie said, sadly, yet in understanding.

“Don’t be silly. We’ve been in a great relationship for a couple of years now!” Arizona objected.

“It’s not the same. You could always keep a certain part of yourself out of my reach when we were friends, but now…”

“Callie…”

“I guess we both bail. You used to say it’s something that you do, but I bailed, too. Whether I was right to leave or not, it doesn’t change the fact that at one point, you stayed, and wanted to fight for us, and I didn’t anymore. I bailed. I get it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Arizona asked, the pain evident in her expression and voice.

“Because I get it. I’m saying – you don’t trust me yet, and that’s okay. But that’s not for you to deal with alone, it’s also on me.”

“Callie…”

“And sex is part of it. We shouldn’t go there before you trust me completely.”

“Callie, stop it, I trust you. I just… I’m so tired, can we please talk about this tomorrow?” Arizona said in exhaustion. She wanted to talk, she did, but it was getting overwhelming and she was already a hormonal mess.

“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” Callie asked, but Arizona averted her gaze.

“Hey,” Callie said, “I love you. Do you believe me?” Callie asked as if her life depended on the answer. Trust issues, she could work with, but if Arizona didn’t even believe…

“Callie…” Arizona tried.

“There’s only one answer to this question, Arizona.”

“Yes,” Arizona said, “and I love you too,” Arizona said sincerely. Loving Callie was the easiest part in all of what was complicated around them.

“Did you not want to sleep with me because of everything we said in the session today, or because you weren’t certain how I felt?” Callie asked softly. She could see this conversation was taking a toll on Arizona, she wasn’t going to push much further tonight. But if Arizona eased some of her nerves, the least she could do was try and ease some of Arizona’s.

“I think maybe a combination of everything,” Arizona admitted.

“But are you certain about how I feel now?”

“I am,” Arizona said.

“Okay, good. So, not yet on the sexy times,” Callie said and took Arizona’s hand. She wasn’t mad, and she needed Arizona to know that.

“Callie… you know we can, if you want to,” Arizona said. She wasn’t entirely sure what was going on in Callie’s head, but she also didn’t want to disappoint her.

“We’re not gonna do this because **I** want to. We’re gonna do this because **we** want to,” Callie said and squeezed Arizona’s hand.

“Callie, of course I want to, I want **you** , I didn’t mean…”

“We’re gonna talk some more, you’re gonna be completely certain, and **then** , we’re gonna do this.”

“I **am** certain, Callie,” Arizona said. Her attraction to the other woman was really not the problem.

“Yes, you are, about some of this, and yet, here we are, not tearing each other’s clothes, but instead, talking about it.”

“I’m sorry,” Arizona said on the verge of tears, she knew it was true. If they both really wanted to get to that point already, there would be way less talking and way more tearing.

“Please don’t be,” Callie said and laced her fingers with Arizona’s. “I don’t feel ready knowing you don’t feel ready. We haven’t done anything wrong yet, and I want us to keep it that way. We don’t need to rush this. I’m good just sitting here with you and watching a movie for another year if that’s what you need. But not tonight, because you are exhausted,” Callie said and put her hand on Arizona’s cheek.

Arizona nodded and put her hand over Callie’s hand.

“I missed you this afternoon,” she said softly, tenderly.

“God, I missed you too. It’s been seven hours. We are sickening,” Callie said lightly and Arizona chuckled, breaking the tension that was in the air since the moment she walked into the house.

“Come hold me until I fall asleep?” Arizona asked hopefully.

“Always,” Callie promised.

* * *

Dr. Dawson didn’t say much. She just watched them having a go at it. It’s what she’s done mostly since they started coming to sessions again. Assessing, she called it. “Assessing has ass in it,” Callie would joke at home.  

Truth was, she didn’t feel she had to intervene much. Yes, she could guide, but when Callie and Arizona came to her four years prior, they hardly let each other finish their sentences. This time, they were nothing but patient, even if frustrated.

They thought that their disagreements meant they weren’t making progress. What they didn’t realize was that even their way of disagreeing has changed and matured. It was never about disagreements, people are bound to disagree, bound to feel insecure. It was about mutual respect, about feeling like conveying one’s fears wasn’t going to be met with ridiculing and belittling.

 It was also about the way they made each other feel. In the past, it seemed like what was causing each woman’s distress, was the other woman. Now, as they kept taking turns in apologizing to one another, it seemed like the distress originated in each one’s fear of the inability to make the other woman feel good. It came from more of a selfless place.

“And it’s a mess,” Callie explained, “I mean, one of us can start the conversation as the reassuring side, then by the time we’re done talking, the roles have reversed and the other person is doing the comforting. It’s very confusing! Not to mention occasionally alarming.”

“Because we keep raising more and more points as the conversations progresses,” Arizona explained.

“Yeah, but doesn’t it drive you nuts? Like, you’re sure, and feel certain and then…”

“And then you don’t. But that’s normal? Isn’t it? I mean, one word can change your entire perception of a situation.”

“But you are scared of me, and I don’t want you to be scared of me, and I definitely don’t want you to feel like you need to protect me from the truth, when you’re the one who is scared. It’s not fair to you. You shouldn’t do the protecting.”

“What about you?” Arizona asked.

“What about me?” Callie replied in confusion.

“You just said, you need reassurance too,” Arizona explained.

“Yeah, but, not about you and how I feel about you. I need reassurance of how you feel about me. Or, more accurately, around me. I need to know that you’re not scared of me.”

“Well, you did say that you bail…” Arizona said quietly.

“No, **no**. I said I **also** bail. As in – it’s something we both do. We’re both at fault.”

“Yeah but I don’t do it anymore,” Arizona defended.

“And neither am I,” Callie said.

“Are you sure?” Arizona asked.

“Of course I am, Arizona, what’s going on? You would never ask me that question when we just started this process… wait, is this what this is about?”

“What do you mean?” Arizona asked, avoiding Callie’s gaze.

“Oh my god,” Callie said. “You think I’m gonna leave you.”

“Well, not leave me per se…”

Doctor Dawson was yet to say anything, she kept watching in interest. She thought the women were doing a fine job of addressing the issues at hand.

“Arizona Robbins, are you honestly suggesting that if this doesn’t work out I’m gonna leave you alone with a newborn?!”

“Well, are you?”

“Unbelievable.”

“Callie, I’m sorry, the fear of being abandoned isn’t exactly rational, you know. And all the bailing stuff you said a couple of weeks ago just made me think about it even more. I don’t want to think about it even more! ”

“I was trying to own up to my mistakes, to say that I can handle things better in the future.  It seems to have backfired,” Callie said in frustration.

“I know you did, I appreciate it. I’m really sorry, Calliope,” Arizona said genuinely.

“No, I’m sorry, Arizona. I don’t want you to feel like you need to keep apologizing for something that isn’t your fault, and I don’t know how to make you not feel this way,” Callie admitted sadly.

 “We didn’t sign any papers,” Arizona blurted out and immediately regretted it.

“What?” Callie asked in confusion.

Arizona sighed. It was out in the open now, might as well address it.

“We decided not to sign any papers,” she said the exact same thing but knew that this time Callie would understand.

“Yes, because we decided to trust each other!” Callie said and threw her hands up in the air.

“Callie, calm down,” the Doctor said. “Arizona isn’t blaming you for anything. She’s just stating a fact.”

“I know that,” Callie said in frustration.

“Then take a breath, and tell her what you want to tell her, but use your inside voice,” the Doctor said and Callie glared at her. That specific comment made her feel like a child. But she took a deep breath nonetheless, and turned to Arizona.

“Trust works both ways, you know,” she said calmly. “I trust you to not run away with my baby and you trust me to be there for you and our baby no matter what!” Callie said in a raised voice again.

“I know, and… I do trust you,” Arizona said before the Doctor had a chance to comment on Callie’s tone again. She was glad Arizona did. She was reclaiming her strength in a romantic, non platonic relationship.

 “It’s just… ,” Arizona continued, “when we decided this, things were different between us.”

“And you trusted me more when I was ‘just’ your best friend rather than your partner,” Callie concluded in understanding.

“It’s not like I want to feel this way. My head totally gets that you will never leave, and I love you, I really do, I just feel…” but she couldn’t finish this sentence.

“Arizona, I’m never going to leave you alone with a baby to take care of. That’s A. B, I’m gonna do whatever I can for us to work because I **so** want to be with you. I promise you all of this. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I have my faults, but I always keep my word. Especially to you.”

“I know that.”

“Tell me that you believe me.”

“I believe you,” Arizona replied immediately, actually absorbing what Callie just said.

Callie sighed.

“We can go see a lawyer about preliminary adoption papers and the parenting plan, okay?” Callie asked.

“We don’t have to. I believe you, I really do,” Arizona said genuinely. Promises made huge difference between them.  When Callie made her promise to her, Arizona’s heart finally caught up with her brain. They had rules.

“I know you do, and you said it before I offered to go to a lawyer, so I know you really meant it and that’s all that matters to me. But still, let’s go see a lawyer, together, sign some papers, and it’s not gonna be a big deal.”

“Okay. I love you,” Arizona said. She knew Callie was trying to make a gesture, and it definitely made her feel better.

“I love you too. And you know that these papers aren’t the reason I’m gonna stay with you. Me wanting to be with you is why I’m gonna stay with you,” Callie said softly.

Arizona searched her eyes. She didn’t find anger, she just found love, truth, devotion and so much tenderness that her heart started to beat faster.

“You are never going anywhere, are you?” she asked quietly, putting down her last wall of defense.

“Never,” Callie said, and to her delight, she finally saw the tension that was in Arizona’s eyes ever since that first kiss, evaporates.


	16. Chapter 16

It’s been three weeks since they had what their therapist referred to as “the breakthrough session.” They formed some sort of a routine. They wouldn’t get too physical. They were both tired very often, and each one wanted to make sure the other one felt comfortable. It made for a lot of sweet, tender moments, even if nothing more. It was almost like they just started dating again, except for the fact that they were ridiculously in love with one another, so not exactly Tabula Rasa. Nor should it been.

However, as time went by, the bear was getting horny. Both bears were.

Arizona was lying down in bed, trying to read a medical journal, when all of a sudden Callie walked in in a haste, and immediately shut the bedroom door behind her.

“Calliope?” Arizona asked. She didn’t even hear the other woman getting home, let alone coming towards her room. “What are you doing here all stealthily?” she joked.

“Nothing,” Callie said innocently.

“Is everything okay? Is Sofia…” she sat straight, fearing all of a sudden that something happened, causing Callie to shut the door behind them.

“Sofia is absolutely fine, Arizona,” Callie said quietly and took a step forward, “she’s dead to the world. I checked on her before I came here,” she took another step, and started to unzip her jacket.

“Callie,” Arizona gulped, “why are you looking at me like you’re the lion from Madagascar and I’m the zebra?”  Arizona asked, starting to feel her body temperature rising.

“You know why,” Callie said seductively, her eyes turning darker.

“Callie…” Arizona said, not exactly sure which outcome she hoped for from the unfolding scenario.

“Arizona, Sofia is asleep, nothing wakes up that girl,” Callie said softly and started to crawl on the bed towards Arizona, “and it’s been weeks, and I love you, so much, so now, I’m gonna show you,” Callie concluded and leaned in to kiss Arizona passionately. They both moaned and eventually broke apart. The kiss left them both breathless.

“We can’t,” Arizona said, still panting. “The first week Tam Tam could actually hear us, we spent talking on trust issues, and fears. Now we’re moving to sexy talk? We’re gonna turn her into a hooligan before she’s even born.”

“Sex talk now will save a lot of trouble when she’s 15,” Callie contended and leaned in to kiss Arizona again. The other woman was definitely a willing participant in the kissing, but she was still hesitant about going further.

“Callie… I… I’m nearly eight months pregnant,” Arizona said quietly, not looking into Callie’s eyes. “I really don’t feel very sexy lately,” she confessed.

“Hey,” Callie said softly, making Arizona look at her. “Is that the real reason why we haven’t done anything? Because that would make it reason number four,” she chuckled.

“No, **god** no. I want to, so badly, it’s just…” she said but didn’t finish.

“Hey, I understand,” Callie said and pecked Arizona’s lips.  “I’ve been where you are. But my god, you are breathtaking. And you’re carrying my child. Really, there’s nothing sexier than that.”

“But there isn’t much I could do, you know, in terms of… moving, and… not blocking,” Arizona explained.

“Yes, but I can,” Callie said softly. “Let me make you feel good. I want to make you feel good so badly,” she said with nothing but love and desire in her eyes.

It was one of those rare moments in which you can actually see yourself through someone else’s eyes, and Arizona loved what she saw. Her heart was pounding ridiculously fast.

“Okay,” she whispered and got a dazzling smile in return.

“I love you,” Callie said.

“I love you, too.”

Callie smiled and leaned forward to kiss Arizona again. The kiss alone was enough to put both their bodies on fire, yet it was time for more, and once they broke the kiss, Callie gave Arizona one last smile before she started lowering herself down Arizona’s body. Arizona was quick to grab her wrist.

“No,” she said.  “We haven’t done this in nearly five years. Stay up here with me?”

“I’ll stay with you forever,” Callie promised, looking into Arizona’s eyes, and they smiled at one another.

Callie slowly helped Arizona out of her shirt, and finally put her hands on Arizona’s skin.

“You, too,” Arizona said and Callie easily understood what she meant as she took her own shirt off. Both women were suddenly on the verge of tears as the magnitude of the moment finally hit them.

Callie put her hand over Arizona’s bra, softly cupping the woman’s breast through the fabric.

“Is this okay?” she asked softly, trying to be sensitive to Arizona’s… condition.

“It’s more than okay,” Arizona said and breathed out in pleasure. “It’s amazing.”

And it was. All of it was. They lost themselves in the amazing sensation as every last piece of them finally fell into place.

* * *

They were basking in the afterglow. Basking was an understatement.

Arizona didn’t dare to imagine that sex at 30 weeks pregnant could feel so damn good. But of course, it was more than sex, it was making love. Cliché as it was, she lived long enough to allow herself the distinction.

Callie stayed with her the whole time like she promised, until Arizona gave her the go, and with a last dazzling smile, Callie disappeared behind Arizona’s pregnant belly and straight between Arizona’s legs. Arizona thought the best way to describe how she was feeling when Callie’s tongue finally made contact with her body, was “bliss.” Also, absolute belonging.

Arizona wanted to return the favor, but Callie objected, saying that this was about her.

“I want to touch you, it **is** about me,” Arizona said and finally Callie gave in. They lied face to face, allowing Arizona access to Callie’s body. It was glorious. Callie’s body, their feelings, all of it. It might not been the ideal, most convenient love making ever, but it was glorious nonetheless.

Arizona, who was somehow being the little spoon at the moment, was already reminiscing, her fingers laced with Callie’s.

“Wow,” Callie said quietly and Arizona turned to look at her, “all those clichés about coming home…” Callie said and laughed in pure joy. Arizona returned the favor with a smile and a tender kiss.

“Well, technically, you **did** come home,” she pointed out.

“I did. Didn’t I? I think there’s a chance I’ll be staying longer than what we initially discussed.”

“Please, **please** do,” Arizona said lovingly and they got lost in each other’s eyes.

 “It never felt with anyone the way it feels with you,” Callie admitted. “Even during the bad times, but especially during the good ones. Especially now,” she added vulnerably, hoping that she wasn’t saying too much.

Arizona could see that inner struggle and leaned in to kiss Callie.

“I know exactly what you mean,” she said reassuringly, “I feel exactly the same way.”

“Good,” Callie said in relief, and they stared at each other again, hardly managing to contain everything they felt.

“So I guess that settles that we can turn your room into the nursery?” Arizona said and smirked and Callie snorted.

“Yeah, but until we talk to Sofia I better get out of here,” Callie said sadly.

“But I don’t wanna sleep without you, not on our first night…” Arizona pouted. Callie understood perfectly. She felt the exact same way.

“Okay, setting the alarm to extra early and then we talk to her tomorrow?” Callie offered.

“Yes,” Arizona said simply and grabbed her phone from the nightstand to set the alarm.

“Arizona, are you sure you want to do this already? This is a whole other kind of moving in,” Callie said softly. She didn’t want Arizona to regret a thing.

“Calliope, I’m sure. I’m not sleeping without you ever again. Plus, baby’s safety and all of that.”

“Sure, baby’s safety,” Callie said and smiled.

“Good, I’m glad that’s settled. Good night, Calliope, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Arizona said and turned in Callie’s arms again.

“Roommates with benefits,” Callie teased, “sweet!” she said and Arizona slapped the hand that was on her stomach.

“Shut up!” she said and Callie giggled.

‘Yes,’ Arizona thought to herself, ‘bliss.’ She sighed happily and they both drifted into sleep.

* * *

Sofia was sitting in the living room, watching TV. Callie and Arizona stared at her from afar, assessing the situation.

“Are you ready to do this, again?” Callie asked.

“Nope! You?”

“Absolutely not. Great, then. I’m glad we got that covered. What was the exact wording Dr. Dawson used last week?” Callie asked, trying to remember. “Should I start bringing a notebook to our session?” she wondered and Arizona snorted.

“Come on, Calliope. We can do this. She said to be honest, to explain that it’s a transition period. Something about how grownups make mistakes too, but that we love each other, and we love her, and we want to try and be a family again.”

“Yes, okay. I think I’m gonna throw up,” Callie said and put her hand on her stomach.

“Callie, this isn’t some speech in a conference, this is just our daughter,” Arizona said softly and took Callie’s hand.

“Oh, so just the most important person in our lives which I’m really hoping we’re not messing up?” Callie offered.

“Why are you guys staring at me from over there?” Sofia called from the couch. “It’s weird.”

“Great,” Callie said, “we’re dealing with both, a deeply emotional talk, and a near adolescent attitude.”

“Come on,” Arizona said and dragged Callie into the living room, where their daughter was looking at them in confusion.

“Honey,” Arizona started, “can we talk to you for a minute?”

“Okay, mama,” Sofia said and the two women sat on the other couch.

“Hmm… Arizona started. “Grownups can make mistakes too, you see?”

“Ah?” Sofia asked in confusion.

“Great job already, genius,” Callie mocked and Arizona pouted. “Look, honey,” Callie tried, “your mama and I, we used to live here together before. Remember we told you that?”

“Yes.”

“Except that when we lived here together, we also shared a room,” Callie explained, “because we were married.”

“But now you’re not anymore, which is why you’re not in the same room,” Sofia added, reciting what her moms told her when Callie was about to move in.

“Right,” Callie agreed. “The reason we weren’t married anymore, was because, like your mama said, grownups make mistakes, too. And we made a lot of mistakes with one another, but we still cared a lot about each other, and about you. So we stayed friends.”

“I can’t believe how great you’re handling this while I’m flailing,” Arizona whispered in Callie’s ear and made her smile softly.

“I understand, mommy,” Sofia said.

“But, hmmm…” Callie started, realizing that the next part would be trickier, “things changed, because, when you care about someone, and when time passes, you can try and forgive the mistakes.”

“Forgiveness is important,” Sofia deadpanned, repeating what her parents taught her.

“Exactly, honey,” Arizona said, trying to pitch in again. “And so, your mommy and I, we forgave each other. We are working hard to fix our mistakes, you see?”

“Does that mean you’re getting married?” Sofia asked in confusion, trying to connect the dots.

“No, honey,” Arizona said and sighed, “but it does mean that we are together again. There is more than one way of being together with someone. Sometimes, people get married, but sometimes they don’t.”

“Why not?” Sofia asked and Arizona looked at Callie in panic.

“Because,” Callie said and glared at Arizona, “in order to get married, you need to be together for a while. But you don’t have to. Sometimes, it’s just enough to know that we are all together, as a family. You know? It just means that we don’t just like each other as friends, anymore. It means we love each other.  And we love you, and Tam Tam, and we’re gonna be an even better family than we were until now. And thanks to that, I’ll stay here with you longer than we thought,” Callie said and Sofia’s eyes lit up.

“You will?” she asked in excitement and it melted both her mothers’ hearts.

“I will,” Callie promised. “Maybe even for a very long time.”

“Yay!!!!” Sofia said and jumped off the couch and straight into Callie’s arms.

“See,” Arizona said, “that’s one of the perks of us being back together. The other one, is that mommy can move into my room, so Tam Tam will also have her own room! Isn’t that exciting?” she asked and Callie snorted, admiring Arizona’s ability to put the selfless spin on their current situation.

“So, you’re gonna be in the same room… does that mean you are girlfriends?” Sofia asked, her brows scrunching in confusion.

“Yes, honey, we are,” Callie said and Arizona smiled. They haven’t used that word very often to describe what they were doing. They were just… being.

“But we are your mothers first and foremost,” Callie added. “Do you understand, honey? It means that even if we fight, or make mistakes with one another again, we are always gonna be here for you. Is that okay?”

“Yes, mommy,” Sofia said and smiled. She didn’t remember much from the time they were together, but she did realize that this meant having both of her mothers with her all the time, for a very long time.

“It also means,” Arizona said, “that mommy and I get to hold hands and kiss each other,” she added with a glint in her eye. “Things that grownups who love one another do,” she clarified.

“Mommy, it’s okay, I understand. I kissed a boy too!” Sofia added excitedly.

“I’m sorry, what?!” Callie said in shock and Arizona snorted.

“Yeah. His name is Ben and he’s in my class. I’m a grownup too!”

“No, Sofia. You’re not,” Callie deadpanned.

“But mommy, he gave me gummy bears and I wanted to thank him!” Sofia said, not understanding what the problem was.

“Sofia, no more kissing boys, or girls, until you are at least twelve. Do you understand me?” Callie said seriously.

“But mommy…”

“No! Kisses are for your special person. Like your mama is to me, and we’ve known each other for longer than you have lived. Do you understand?”

“But mommy, Ben is special! He gave me gummy bears,” Sofia pleaded.

“No, sweetie,” Arizona tried, “what your mommy is trying to say is that this special person is someone you know would do anything for you and you would do anything for him. Do you understand?” she asked softly.

Sofia thought about it for a few moments.

“I think so,” she finally said.

“Good, now go to your room and think about what we said. Okay?”

“Am I being punished?” Sofia asked sadly.

“Oh, honey, no,” Callie was quick to explain. “We just talked about a lot of stuff and we want you to take some time, to make sure you understand. And if you have any questions, ask us, okay?”

“Okay,” Sofia resigned, “can I read before bed?”

“Of course you can, honey. We are not mad. Do you believe us?” Callie asked softly.

“Yes,” Sofia said to her mothers’ delight, not knowing the special place these words held in their hearts.

“Love you,” Arizona said, as Sofia finally got up.

“Love you, too,” she smiled and went into her room.

“Well,” Arizona said once Sofia was out of earshot, “I think this went pretty well. Other than what your daughter did with that boy.

“ **My** daughter?” Callie asked and looked at Arizona in disbelief.

“You know I would never kiss a boy, Callie. She couldn’t have gotten it from me,” Arizona teased and Callie knew she was joking.

“Arizona!” she said and giggled.

“Just saying.”

“Well,” Callie said, “at least it’s obvious she got some game. **My** daughter for sure.”

Arizona snored.

“I can’t believe this happened. We’re gonna have to have ‘the talk’ with her soon,” Callie said, she seemed terrified.  “Maybe we should’ve had more sexy talk when **this** one was in the womb.”

“That’s what I kept telling you back then!” Arizona wined, remembering how Callie hardly let her touch her.

“Remind me to listen to your more often” Callie said softly.

“That’s not gonna be a problem,” Arizona promised.


	17. Chapter 17

Callie wanted to go home. Callie **always** wanted to go home these days. Not only did she have a child and a pregnant woman at home, that woman was her girlfriend. That woman was her girlfriend who was having sex with her, and Callie couldn’t get enough of that woman who was her girlfriend and was having sex with her. It wasn’t just the sex. It was everything. She felt like they were making up for lost time and just existing together, in the same space, sharing thoughts, and meals, and talking to Sofia, was like waking up from a long unsatisfying slumber.

But the outcome of her will to go home was that she was paying zero attention to her **current** meal buddy, and said meal buddy connected the dots after seeing the expression on Callie’s face.

“So are you two a thing?” Meredith asked and ate another fry. Just because Callie wasn’t touching her junk food goodness, didn’t mean **she** had to miss out on the fun.

“If by a thing you mean together, then yes, we are,” Callie said matter-of-factly and finally took a fry into her own mouth.

“Are we happy about this?” Meredith asked cautiously. They haven’t talked about it yet, but a few weeks before, Callie and Arizona started walking into the hospital hand in hand again.

“We’re overjoyed,” Callie admitted, a huge smile adorning her face.

“What about the other shoe? There’s always another shoe, remember? Your words, not mine,” Meredith noted. She didn’t want to burst the bubble, she was just worried.

“I’m not waiting for it to drop. Nope,” Callie announced. “Instead, I’m choosing to take it out from its resting place under the bed every now and then, and polish it. You create a good, solid relationship with your shoe, you don’t have to wait for it to drop.”

“I miss Cristina, she would give us a snippy remark right about now,” Meredith said and sighed.

“I miss her too. Hey! Let’s try to FaceTime her. You two are probably hooked to each other through time and space, but I haven’t spoken to her in a while.”

“Good idea!” Meredith said and took out her IPad in order to dial.

“I miss Mark as well. Though, I have to admit, it’s nice to go through this only with Arizona,” Callie said while they waited for Cristina to answer.

“What about Maureen?” Meredith asked suddenly, trying to understand Callie’s exact state of mind. She hung up after there was no answer, and put her IPad down.

“Ach, that girl is probably gonna hate me forever,” Callie said and slumped in her chair. “She probably thinks I played her.”

“Did you?” Meredith asked cautiously. 

“God no! I guess I was playing myself. That came out wrong,” Callie said and Meredith snorted. “I honestly didn’t know. I mean, I didn’t think Arizona was an option so I didn’t let myself think about it, or think about her as a potential object of affection, you know? But then she kissed me and I just knew it was there all along.”

Callie stared at Meredith for a second to gauge her reaction, but the other woman said nothing, just seemed more at ease.

“You look relived. Why do you look relived?”Callie asked. Seeing her friend calm just made her nervous, like there was a reason to worry before and she had missed it.

“Because I was worried about this little development, but then I asked you questions and you said all the right things,” Meredith admitted and ate another fry.

“So, what, this was a test?” Callie asked, irritated.

“It wasn’t a test, Callie. I am all for you two getting back together. You were crazy about one another.”

“We were.”

“Until you drove **each other** crazy,” Meredith added.

“Mer…”

“Callie, I trust you. I was just worried. But I know all of this wasn’t some excuse to get back into Arizona’s life. We talked about it enough for me to know that this wasn’t what it was about. And if you can be a family again in that sort of way, then I’m happy for you. I just hope you guys make sure this round will be better,” Meredith said softly, “and I’m not saying it to be condescending, I’m only saying this because I really want this to work out for you,” she concluded genuinely.

“I know,” Callie said and smiled.

“You two seem so happy lately, I want it to last.”

“Me too,” Callie admitted. “Hence the periodical cleaning of the shoe.”

Meredith smiled at that, then, suddenly, her IPad started to ring from its place on the table.

“Hey, Cristina,” Meredith said after picking up and pushed another fry into her mouth. “I’m here with Callie,” she added and readjusted the IPad while Callie scooted closer so they were both on camera.

“Whaddup bitches?” Cristina inquired cheerfully.

“Are you kissing your clinic with that mouth?” Callie asked.

“So you and roller girl are back together, ah?” Cristina said, ignoring Callie’s comment/question and going straight for the kill.

“What?” Callie asked in surprise. “How did you even know?” she glared at Mer.

“Don’t look at me,” Meredith said in surrender.

“Yo, me and Arizona, we tight,” Cristina deadpanned.

“Since when?”

“Since we talk about nightmares from the plane crash and how good we are at what we do. All fun stuff,” Cristina shrugged.

“Yes I’m sure you’re enjoying all the pregnancy talk,” Callie chuckled.

“Oh she doesn’t talk to me about babies, duh, she talks to me about sex.”

“Cristina!” Callie said in shock, and then added “what did she have to say about the sex?” Meredith snorted at that.

“Ha, like I’m gonna tell you. It’s gonna do nothing but make that ego of yours even bigger, and we don’t want that,” Cristina teased.

“Look who’s talking,” Callie said, unimpressed.

“She has a point there, Cristina,” Meredith added.

“I know,” Cristina replied, unapologetically.

“Well, we did say we need to talk to Cristina to get some sort of a sarcastic reply,” Callie reminded.

“Oh, I’m touched!” Cristina said. “Fine. She said that the sex is mind blowing, better than it ever was before. Good on you, Torres!” Cristina said excitedly. “If I was there I’d probably pat you on the back.”

“Hmm… thanks?” Callie asked unsure, but her pride of her skills sipped through and was evident in her eyes.

“Now just don’t make her think about what changed sexually between the last time you were together and now,” Cristina said off-handedly.

“Cristina!” Callie groaned and Meredith face palmed.

“Mer, you’re not saying much today. You just make noises and gestures. What’s up with you?” Cristina asked.

“Nothing. To be honest, I just wanted Callie to go through the Cristina treatment. You have a way of getting the truth out of people. You know, by being completely inappropriate.” Meredith admitted.

“I **was** telling the truth!” Callie whined. “If you must know, the sex is better because this whole thing is better. And because we’re making up for lost time, and because… you know, I love her like crazy. It has nothing to do with… schooling from other people.”

“It’s true, Cristina. Callie was seeing this girl for like four months and they hadn’t slept together once.”

“Meredith!” Callie groaned.

“No, Torres, I’m actually impressed. The amount of self restraint you’re practicing is something to be noted!” Cristina explained.

“Right, except then she gets together with Arizona and I feel like that’s all they’re doing,” Meredith added, as if Callie wasn’t even there.

“Actually…” Callie said quietly, wondering if to be her usual over sharing self or not. “We’ve been sort of together for hmmm… two months before we… you know.”

The two women stared at her in shock. One through the screen and the other right next to her. Callie minded her privacy, she minded Arizona’s privacy even more, but she wanted them to understand. She **needed** them to understand, how serious she was about Arizona, about her family. Arizona wasn’t just another person, and sleeping with Arizona wasn’t like sleeping with anyone else. **Being** with Arizona wasn’t like being with anyone else and while she thought Arizona finally believed her when she said these words, and while other people’s approval shouldn’t have mattered, she wanted them to understand. If Arizona was to walk among these people, and hear them talk, like they always did, Callie wanted the talk to be good. She wanted everyone Arizona might encounter to realize how Callie saw her, as the love of her life.

“Why the wait?” Meredith finally asked.

“You know why,” Callie said and looked at her hands in her lap.

“Because when you finally did it everything was back where it was supposed to be?” Cristina asked softly.

“Not everything,” Callie admitted, “not just yet. But, we’re working on it. And it’s going to be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Cristina asked, not in a mean way, in a kind way.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Callie said and a wide grin appeared on her face. “It’s gonna be great.”

“Okay,” Cristina concluded with a smile of her own.

“Anyways,” Callie said and cleared her throat, “I was hogging Cristina this whole time. Do you guys need some time alone?” she asked innocently.

“All this sex talk made you wanna go home. Didn’t it?” Meredith asked and Cristina snorted.

“I always wanna go home,” Callie admitted.

“Just go, you sappy little thing,” Cristina said, her voice cracking, which made Callie smirk.

She knew they believed her now, she also knew they were happy that she and Arizona were back together. She stood up, put some bills on the table, and took her bag.

“Thanks for lunch, Mer,” she said. “Cristina, you got something in your eye,” she smirked, and then she left.

**

The following morning, Callie walked into Arizona’s bedroom, ‘ **our** bedroom,’ she thought with a smile.

She was finally moving some stuff in while Arizona, lying down on the bed, still naked under the covers from the previous night, was staring at her. All of a sudden Arizona saw a sparkle around Callie’s neck and sat up straight sharply.

“What?” Callie asked in confusion and dropped the box she was holding. “Is everything okay?” she said as she quickly bent next to Arizona, one hand on Arizona’s cheek and her eyes looking for any sign of discomfort.

Arizona said nothing, but stretched her hand forward towards Callie’s neck, and grabbed the pedant that was hidden in Callie’s shirt, with her palm.

“I was so sure you got rid of it,” Arizona said quietly, on the verge of tears.

“Come on, Arizona, I was never gonna get rid of it,” Callie said seriously. “Plus, it’s vintage now, which means it’s worth more.”

“Are we vintage now, too?” Arizona asked and smiled softly.

“Yes, we are. Which means we’re worth **so** much more now,” Callie said genuinely and leaned in to kiss Arizona, flopping next to her and pulling her into her arms. ‘Unpacking can wait,’ she thought.

“What made you put it back on?” Arizona asked suddenly. Her head was resting on Callie’s chest.

“You know, just putting everything back where it belongs,” Callie said softly, referring to the necklace, to her stuff in the room, to her entire freaking life.

“Can you pass me mine?” Arizona asked quietly. She really didn’t want to move, but at the same time she really, **really** wanted her necklace.

“Where is it?” Callie asked softly and gently untangled herself from Arizona’s hold.

“Where it always was,” Arizona said gently, referring to her drawer.

Callie immediately reached for the drawer in the night stand opposite to where she was, and found the familiar box.

She took the necklace out and held it in her hand in front of Arizona’s face. They both stared at it for a moment.

“Should **I** , or do you want…?” Callie asked unsure.

“You do it,” Arizona said and brought herself up just slightly, so Callie could put the necklace back on. Callie did just that.

“There,” Callie said quietly, “pretty sure **now** it’s where it always was.”

Arizona nodded in agreement, and leaned in to kiss her love once more.

* * *

 **A/N** :

Also, you just know that FaceTime will still be a thing in 4 years. It’ll probably IPad 12 or something. (my math skills aren’t the best.)


	18. Chapter 18

“Arizona, will you just…”

“Callie, I’m fine!” Arizona said and kept walking with purpose.

“I’m just worried!” Callie said, trying to catch up.

“But I’m fine!”

She was 34 weeks pregnant, and they were shopping for baby necessities. They had a lot of things left from Sofia, but they wanted Tamara to have new things, and they had to set up the nursery as well. Arguably, they should have done this weeks ago, and not when Arizona was getting exhausted so fast and needed pee breaks every twenty five minutes. They just neglected this whole phase of the pregnancy amidst the craziness that was their lives. Many things distracted them as of late, many things, like sex, for example.

But no more. Arizona planned the whole day. They had an afternoon appointment with a lawyer to discuss Callie’s parenting related paperwork, and Arizona was adamant that they spend the morning and early afternoon putting a check mark on the baby products task. She knew there’s no way they’d have the time and energy to do it more than once, not when she was nearly nine months pregnant, so it all had to be done today. If not by foot, then later, by Amazon.

“Arizona, I’m not saying we should stop, I’m just saying let’s take a little break.”

“We have four more stores to go to, Callie. We didn’t even get a crib yet, nor did we get the paint we need for the nursery.”

“Arizona, relax,” Callie said and put a soothing hand on the small of Arizona’s back.

“I’m relaxed!”

“Yes, your tone is suggesting just that. Hey, there’s a diner over there, right next to the store,” Callie pointed. “I’m thirsty. Have a milkshake with me?”

“Fine,” Arizona said through gritted teeth.

She wanted that milkshake. Heck, she wanted Callie’s milkshake and mostly, she wanted the bathroom the diner had to offer.

“Thank you, I’m really parched,” Callie said in gratitude.

“Thank **you** ,” Arizona said quietly.

“What for?” Callie said and took Arizona’s hand in hers.

“For pretending like we’re doing this for you.”

Callie smiled and leaned in to kiss Arizona on the cheek. “It’s my pleasure.”

“I’m just worried we won’t get everything we need, and then the lawyer…”

“Could be rescheduled if we’re not done,” Callie said simply.

“No, Callie, this paperwork is more important than anything.”

“I beg to differ,” Callie said, “yours and Tam Tam’s health are more important than anything. I can meet him on almost any other day, heck, I can go alone if need be.”

“No, I want to go with you,” Arizona argued.

“Great, then we can go sometime when you’re not exhausted from walking all day and when we already know we got everything we need,” Callie said as they entered the diner and chose a table. “But we won’t have to, because we’re gonna be fine today. We’re just resting for a while.”

“But what if we don’t get everything today?” Arizona asked. She was tired, and sore, and she was starting to freak out.

“Hey,” Callie said and took Arizona’s hand in hers over the table. “What you can’t do, I’ll do, remember?”

Arizona nodded. “But I don’t want you to have to do this alone and carry things around.”

“Look, our next stop is the crib, and then the following one is the paint shop. All the rest can be done on line. We managed quite a lot this morning,” Callie said calmly.

“Yeah, we did,” Arizona agreed and started to visibly relax.

They took a peek at the menu and ordered their milkshakes.

Arizona didn’t even realize that Callie hadn’t drank hers. She just pushed it towards Arizona after Arizona finished hers.

 “Hey, mind finishing this?” Callie asked gently.

“Aww, but you wanted a milkshake,” Arizona said and pouted.

 “It’s too condensed,” Callie said, as if Arizona would be doing her a favor by finishing it.

“What are you talking about? It’s delicious!” Arizona argued then started sipping Callie’s milkshake.

It happened quite often. Callie knew Arizona wanted to eat more, but felt too self conscious, so Callie would order something and let Arizona finish for her, letting Arizona feel like she was helping Callie out. Arizona didn’t notice most of the time. Or so Callie thought.

The truth was that Arizona knew exactly what Callie was doing and those small gestures of love drove Arizona’s hormones mad.  She wanted to rip Callie’s clothes off right there and then. They always had a healthy sexual relationship, but since Arizona gave the go-ahead for them to start sleeping together again the month before, she couldn’t get enough. She didn’t know if it was the pregnancy, or the lost time, but she wanted Callie, almost constantly, and Callie didn’t complain. It didn’t matter that it was getting harder and harder technically. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And if there was one thing they weren’t lacking these days, it was will.

“We should go to the bathroom,” Callie said, pulling Arizona out of her reverie.

“Wh…what?” Arizona asked, wondering if Callie could read her mind.

She could. She saw the way Arizona was looking at her, but that wasn’t why she wanted to get the other woman to the bathroom.

“I’m gonna put you on the sink…”

“Oh I like the sound of that,” Arizona interrupted.

“Arizona,” Callie warned, “I’m gonna put you on the sink and we’re gonna take your prosthetic off and you’re gonna let me massage your leg.”

“What?! Callie, no, we don’t have time for this nonsense.”

“Don’t argue with me. You’ve been limping for the past twenty minutes.”

“I have?” Arizona asked in genuine surprise.

“Yes, you have. A nine months pregnant amputee on a shopping spree? What did you think would happen after three hours with no break?!” Callie said, irritated.

“Okay, Calliope, I’m sorry.” She knew Callie didn’t say all of that in order to make her feel guilty, but so many times throughout this pregnancy she wondered what the hell she would have done without Callie.

“What would I do without you?” Arizona voiced her thoughts.

“You’re never gonna have to find out,” Callie promised and kissed Arizona’s hand. “But, since you’re in the middle of a ‘let’s actually listen to Callie’ moment, I need to ask you something and I need you to really consider it.”

“Okay?” Arizona said, confused and concerned.

“Stop worrying all the time!” Callie said upon seeing Arizona’s expression.

“Stop with the dramatic build ups!”

“Fine! Then I’ll just spit it out. I want you to start your maternity leave before the delivery. I mean, I’d even say now but I know you’ll put my head on a stick for even suggesting it.”

“Of course I would! Because why the hell should I start my maternity leave 5 weeks before the delivery date?!”

“A. Because you can. You have enough days stored up, and B. Arizona, really don’t take this the wrong way, but like I said, you’re a nine months pregnant amputee. You’re big, not fat,” she said when Arizona glared at her, “just big. It’s becoming a safety issue. You on your legs all day? I don’t like it, and you know I’m right. Just… I know it feels early for you but maybe in a couple of weeks?” Callie pleaded.

“Why is this a safety issue?!” Arizona spat. “I don’t wanna be stuck at home alone all day when I can be cutting!”

“Just think about it, you’ll have more time with Sof which is probably a good thing considering soon enough you’ll have a baby to take care of.”

“Yeah, but Callie, if you’re worried about safety, where’s a batter place for me to be? In the hospital, usually in the peds or **neonatal** department, or at home alone?!”

“At home, where you’re on the couch all day, I know exactly where to find you, and you’re not standing all day long,” Callie stated.

“Is this because of your leg?” Arizona asked.

“Of course it’s because of the leg, Arizona! That’s what I’ve been trying to say. It’s still experimental!”

“Callie, come on,” Arizona said softly, realizing that Callie’s own creation was the cause of concern. “It’s been doing great.”

“Thank you for saying that, but the thing is, those next few weeks are gonna change your balance even more. It’s not like I think you, and the leg, can’t handed this, but ideally I’d want to develop a series of balance exercises for women towards the end of their third trimester.”

“Well, then develop away! I can help!”

“No.”

“Callie…”

“No, Arizona. You know how I feel about using you as a guinea pig, and we’ve already done that by even letting you use the leg, but it was different when you were in early stages and it was just about you. That was your decision regarding your own body and I respected it. But we’re not only messing with your safety anymore and I don’t want to risk anything happening so close to the birth. Don’t you see that? I haven’t said anything, I know how much your independence means to you, but we’re so close to the end. Please, let’s not experiment on our baby,” Callie said vulnerably and Arizona finally understood where she was coming from.

‘She’s right,’ Arizona thought. ‘It’s not just about my body and how far I’m willing to push it anymore.’

“Okay,” Arizona agreed quietly.

“Okay but you’re gonna be mad at me later, or okay, I see where you’re coming from?” Callie asked in concern.

“Okay, I see where you’re coming from and I’m inclined to agree,” Arizona said softly. 

“Thank you,” Callie said and kissed Arizona’s hand again.

“And I’ll have more time with Sofia that way,” Arizona said.

“That’s a very good point you’re making,” Callie replied and winked.

“But this experiment is something we did together, so later, when we can, I’m gonna put on a fake belly for you and we’re gonna simulate together and create a series of exercises.”

“Deal,” Callie agreed and shook Arizona’s hand.

“You are ridiculous,” Arizona said, “but also ridiculously hot. And… your brain is pretty.”

“That sounded creepy. Dexter kind of creepy,” Callie argued but Arizona ignored her.

“I don’t think you’ll be able to put me on the sink, Callie.”

“Hey, these hands break bones for a living, remember? Worst case scenario, we get you a chair. This leg of yours **will** be massaged,” Callie announced.

“You know that I love you, right?”

“Obviously. I am not fooled by your hormonal madness, Arizona.”

“Good. Then take me in the… I mean **to** the bathroom.”

“Naughty.”

* * *

It was hours later. They had a crib, they had paint, and lots of other things that were to be delivered to their house in the following days.

They made it to the lawyer on time and Arizona could finally relax for real. Except…

“Don’t freak out,” she carefully said to Callie.

“I’m not freaking out,” Callie replied calmly.

“It’s gonna be okay.”

“I know it’s gonna be okay.”

“You have nothing to worry about.”

“I **know** I have nothing to worry about, Jesus, Arizona!” Callie said and stopped walking. “I think **you** might be freaking out.”

They walked out of the lawyer’s office with some bad news. Until Tamara was born, Callie couldn’t have any legal claim to their daughter. What she needed to file was adoption papers. One can’t file adoption papers to a yet-to-be-born baby. That wasn’t something they knew beforehand.

 Arizona knew how not having sorted paper work, how having your role as a parent being questioned felt. She was saddened on behalf of her girlfriend.

“I… I just remember how it feels to not have any legal claim to your own child,” Arizona said and Callie nodded in understanding. “And it’s not the best, to say the least. You’re really not freaking out?” she asked in concern and Callie sighed.

“Arizona, the whole point was that we wanted to trust each other **and** we wanted the papers. So we’re gonna trust each other now, and do the papers later.”

“But what if we don’t have the time when Tam Tam is born? What if it falls between the cracks and you’ll be mad at me, what if…”

“Arizona!” Callie said and put her arms on the other woman’s shoulders to stop her from rambling. “Relax! We’re gonna do all the paper work now, leave out the things we don’t know yet, and submit as soon as we can once we can fill the rest when Tammy is born, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

“But what if we don’t have the time to fill the rest?”

“Arizona!”

“Sorry.”

“It’s going to be okay. I will personally stay up at night if need be to fill this paper work. I’m not gonna get mad at you. Get this idea out of your pretty head. We are together. We are staying together. We are so staying together that we’re gonna go back home now, and put on an ad to rent Mark’s place. Okay?

“Are you sure?”

“Did you really just ask me if I was sure? Because it almost sounded like you’re expecting me to leave,” Callie said and glared at Arizona.

“Well, after a day like today…” Arizona started.

“After a day like today all I want to do is go back to **our** home, tuck in **our** daughter, take a long bath in **our** bathroom, and hold the love of my life in my arms while I sniff her hair like some sort of a stalker,” she concluded and started walking towards the car again.

“Who’s that person you speak off?” Arizona asked playfully.

“The stalker? Me,” Callie said offhandedly.

“No, I meant that love of your life person.”

“Just some crazy pregnant lady,” Callie said and shrugged.

“Calliope,” Arizona said and slapped Callie’s shoulder.

Callie chuckled and took Arizona’s hands in hers.

“I love you,” Callie promised, “I love that kid inside you. She’ll be born, and we’ll fill the paper work, and she’ll be ours, okay?”

“She’s already ours,” Arizona said.

“I know, honey, I meant legally. Stop worrying so much.”

“Okay. Thanks, Calliope. This is all just these crazy hormones.”

“Sure it is. It has nothing to do with you also being a control freak. You’re on week 34. This girl is popping out any minute. We don’t have that much longer to wait to fill this paper work anyways.”

“Shit. We need to prepare the nursery,” Arizona said, getting all worked up again.

“You mean **I** need to prepare the nursery and you need to watch me work and not touch anything heavy or power tool-y. Jesus, Arizona, I swear, telling you to relax is completely useless.”

“Fine, I’ll be quiet. I hate fighting with you.”

“Fighting?” Callie said and smiled widely, “this isn’t fighting. This… is being domestic.”

* * *

 **A/N:** My poor lawyer friends (who don’t even do family law) had to answer a lot of questions for this one. But it followed my initial research, so I wasn’t being lazy. Just… more thorough : ) It’s actually fascinating. Think about same sex couples who are having a baby without being married. The “non biological” party can’t do anything in advance to legally promise his/hers parenthood. Some food for thought.  


	19. Chapter 19

Callie wasn’t joking when she said she’d be doing all the work while Arizona would be staring at her.

It’s been a couple of weeks since their shopping spree, and they finally found the time for the painting, and the staring.

“I can’t believe you talked me into turning our daughter’s nursery into a batcave,” Arizona whined.

“Arizona! It’s purple! It’s not even purple, it’s lilac. It’s almost pink!”

“It is **not** almost pink,” Arizona huffed.

“Fifty shades of whatever, Arizona. Classic Easter basket,” Callie said and Arizona smirked. She enjoyed how flustered Callie got.

“Are you calling me a basket case?” she asked.

“You know it!” Callie said and Arizona smiled at her lovingly.

Callie turned around and caught the way Arizona was looking at her. “God, you’re gorgeous,” Callie said and leaned in to kiss the sitting woman.

“Mmmm, thank you,” Arizona hummed.

“I mean it. You’re sitting here on this chair and I can already see you holding Tam Tam who’s getting adorable and chubbier by the day, and just the thought of it makes me...god, you’re so beautiful.” Callie said and leaned in again, pouring all of her emotions into the kiss.

“I love you,” Arizona said when they broke the kiss.

“I love you, too,” Callie replied, pecked Arizona’s lips once more, and stood up in order to get back to her task.

“Did we wait too long to do this, Callie?” Arizona asked, missing the contact already, but willing to let Callie work. “Considering we’re two type As, I’d say I’m surprisingly calm.”

“Well, we had about a hundred other things to worry about. I also suspect that you timed this perfectly to a point of your pregnancy in which you knew I wouldn’t let you help.”

“Hey, don’t be like that, here, give me the brush.”

Callie stared at her skeptically, but passed her the brush.  Arizona stretched her arm and painted the spot next to where she sat.

“Here,” she said playfully, “I helped.”

“You are a game changer when it comes to the painting of this room,” Callie mocked. “What would I ever do without you?”

“You’d die alone and miserable,” Arizona deadpanned.

“I want to say something sarcastic, but you are right,” Callie said, put her hands on the chair handles, and leaned in to kiss Arizona again. A short, tender kiss.

Arizona was very pleased with all the positive attention. She was thinking how smart it was to start her maternity leave already. She had more time with Sofia, and more time for… this, because she was always home when Callie got back.

Just as she was thinking how happy she was to get to spend more time with Callie, she felt something sticky against her cheek.

“Calliope!” Arizona squealed, realizing that the other woman used her finger to paint her cheek.

“Have some lilac in your life, Arizona!”

“Do you know how bad this is for my skin? Now I have to drag myself to the bathroom before it dries!”

“Too bad this isn’t edible. I could have saved you the trip to the bathroom,” Callie said and winked.

“Too bad indeed, because this trip to the bathroom will take forever,” Arizona said.

“Hurry back, pretty thing, I need someone to watch me while I do this,” Callie said while Arizona was attempting to get up. Callie gave her a hand for help. They ended up standing closely in front of one another.

“I’m really sorry I can’t help more,” Arizona said sincerely.

“It’s okay, I never got to do this with Sofia because I had a bad case of the heartus surgerus.”

“Yeah, I didn’t like it when that happened,” Arizona said.

“Neither did I. So, painting is fine. Just another second chance in a long line of newly discovered second chances,” Callie said and kissed Arizona.

“I like **this** , though,” Arizona said, referring to their closeness.

“So am I, way better than the heartus surgerus.”

“Almost everything is better than the heartus surgerus, Callie. Okay, I’m gonna wash this, and I’m gonna come back,” she said and started to leave.

“You really don’t have to, Arizona, it’s fine.  Go get some rest if you are tired,” Callie said softly.

“Nuh. I’m enjoying the view way too much,” Arizona winked and left the room.

Callie hummed and kept painting. She was about half way done. She knew they’d have to let the wall dry for twenty-four hours before she could apply a second coat and then wait another twenty-four hours before they could put stuff in. She figured she’d build the crib outside the room, and roll it in once she could.

They were still a few weeks away from the birth, but just in case it happened earlier than expected, they both wanted the important things to be ready.

Now that she was moving again and started to sweat, she decided it was the perfect opportunity for a little underwear dance. Her IPod was connected to the console, but she hadn’t turned it on because Arizona was keeping her company. Arizona however, was gone, and was going to appreciate what Callie had in mind anyways.

Callie used her elbow to press the IPod buttons, and turned the music on. Then, she took her pants off. They were already ridiculously stained. There was no need to be cautious.

She was hard at work, moving her hips to the music, applying one stroke after the other, when Arizona walked into the room.

She stood in the doorway and smirked. Callie mentioned dancing in her underwear before, but she never got the chance to experience it firsthand. The view was spectacular. 

“And what have we here?” Arizona asked and made Callie jump. Then Callie turned around, a huge smile adorning her face.

“Whistle while you work, baby!” she announced excitedly.

“I really love seeing you like this,” Arizona noted. “You seem so carefree.” Her face fell. This is something Callie used to do before they met, and after they broke up. This wasn’t a moment she was allowed to share.

“Hey, none of that,” Callie said as she saw Arizona’s expression. She understood right away what the other woman was thinking. “This is gonna be both of us in a few months when you are more… mobile.”

“Yeah?” Arizona asked hopeful.

“You bet. And Sof too. Maybe we’ll even hold Tamster and show her some moves. It’s never too early to start.”

“Thank you,” Arizona said softly and then winced.

“You okay?” Callie asked in concern and took a step towards Arizona.

“Fine, Brixton Hicks,” Arizona explained and sat down. She took a deep breath.

“Better?” Callie asked. Sitting usually helped somewhat.

“Getting there, give me a moment,” Arizona said and kept breathing deeply.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll warm you a bath,” Callie offered. Baths helped too. “I don’t like you inhaling those chemicals for long periods of time anyways.”

“And will you be joining me in said bath?” Arizona asked, liking the idea.

“I’m not done yet, Arizona.”

“Callie, I will be naked in the bath, alone. Now, are you going to join me?” Arizona demanded and Callie gulped.

“Sof?” she asked.

“Is napping,” Arizona stated.

“Bless this child and her sleeping habits.”

“Bless the woman she inherited them from. So, you in?”  Arizona asked in a husked voice.

“You know it. God, you’re such a bad influence.”

* * *

Their bath was great, but Callie knew that come tomorrow, Arizona would freak out all over again about their unfinished nursery and the impending doom, i.e. – the birth. So after the bath, she left Arizona in their room for a mandatory pregnant lady nap, and went back to finish painting.

It was harder than she expected and she cursed Mark and his premature death as she walked out of the bathroom after her second wash of the day.

Her back was killing her and all she wanted to do was sleep. It wasn’t late, but Arizona was still napping, Sofia was doing homework, and Callie figured she could join the woman in the bed.

“Just for a little while,” she said while she wrapped her hands around Arizona, and within seconds, she was dead to the world.

She woke up two hours later in an empty bed and was shocked that she slept for so long. She groaned at the thought of the additional round of painting that was waiting for her on the following day, and thanked her lucky star for the fact that Arizona didn’t wake her.

Callie listened carefully and could hear cheerful voices from the living room. Clearly, her daughter and her girlfriend were entertaining one another.

Callie thought she’d indulge in the long forgotten art of book reading. Eons ago, before the check ups, the lawyers, the shopping sprees, the painting, and oh so much sex, there were books.

She realized she missed them, so she stretched her hand to the nightstand, noticed a thin layer of dust on the cover, and decided to read until she’d get busted.

No more than fifteen minutes later, she did.

“Hey, you’re awake!” Arizona said and lay in bed right next to her.

“Yeah, thanks for letting me sleep,” Callie said, head still in the book.

“You’re welcome, I knew you needed it,” Arizona said sweetly which got zero reaction from Callie.

“So, Sof and I were doing math homework. Calliope, I had to make up a whole song to explain to her how to know when a number is under one thousand. It was pretty hilarious if I may say so myself.”

“Yes.”

“And then,” Arizona continued, “we had dinner, which you missed, but I saved you some, though technically, it’s what **you** cooked. So I guess I’m saying I saved you some reheated leftovers of your own dish.”

“Right,” Callie said and Arizona started to get irritated.

“And then I came back here to have a sex marathon with you, especially now when Amazon sent me a new toy, but I guess you’ll be skipping that just like you skipped dinner?”

“Hmmm…” Callie said, engrossed in her book.

“Jesus Christ, Callie, at least don’t read the book held up. It’s gonna fall on you and smash your nose, and you won’t get the best orthopedic care because you’re it!”

“Absolutely.”

“Calliope! Stop reading and pay attention to me right now!” Arizona demanded.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” Callie asked apologetically, finally looking at Arizona.

“I’m saying that you’re reading the book held up, and one of these days, you’re gonna drop those heavy books you insist on reading, and damage your beautiful perfect face. Maybe I should get you a tablet.”

“No, Arizona. I like books. I like their smell, I like how they feel in my hands, and I like to get lost in them completely.”

“I feel the exact same way…just replace the word books with boobs,” Arizona said honestly and Callie snorted.

She put down the book on the nightstand and turned to look at Arizona.

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I do,” Arizona said proudly.

“I’m sorry about the book. I’m all ears, what were you saying?”

“Well, I started by telling you that I made a math song to help Sofia with her homework.”

“That’s sweet,” Callie said and yawned. “How does it go?”

“You really wanna hear it?”

“Of course,” Callie said softly and put her hand on Arizona’s hip.

“Okay here goes. Don’t laugh.”

Callie wasn’t going to laugh, she couldn’t concentrate long enough to laugh.

“Playing with 1000, is easy and it’s fun, all you have to do, is follow rule number one!” Arizona sang cheerfully while Callie closed her eyes. Arizona didn’t bother her, she figured she still listened, so she continued.

“To know which number’s bigger, the digits you must count, and then you go from there, and the answer you have found!”

“Nice,” Callie mumbled.

“I’m not done yet,” Arizona said.

“Okay, continue,” Callie said sleepily.

“You are really tired, aren’t you?” Arizona said and brushed a lock of hair from Callie’s face.

“Hmm… lilac…” Callie said, half asleep at this point.

“Yeah, no, you sleep now, my love,” Arizona said and kissed Callie’s forehead.

“Mmthanks,” Callie said in a hardly audible voice. Arizona looked at her in wonder and finally got up.

There were still dishes in the sink, they still had to tuck Sofia in, and organize the living room, and yes, Arizona was nine month pregnant, but for a one night only, she could handle things without the person who always did all of the above on her behalf. For one night only, she got to take care of Callie, because come tomorrow, the other woman will not let her move a muscle.

Except for all the sex.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N** : I’ve never gave birth myself, so while I did some reading, this might not portray birth very accurately. I beg your pardon, and now let’s on and experience the miracle of life!

* * *

Arizona sat in bed, disoriented.  She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock on the night stand.  It was 3 AM.

“Are you okay?” Callie asked. When Arizona didn’t sleep, she didn’t sleep, which happened quite a lot lately. Callie really didn’t mind.

“Yeah, I just need to pee, go back to sleep,” Arizona said pecked Callie’s lips, and started to get out of bed.

“Arizona,” Callie said and pointed at the now uncovered part of the mattress, “I don’t think you need to pee.”

The mattress was wet.

“Oh my god, did I pee in my sleep?” Arizona asked in embarrassment.

“No, dummy,” Callie said and started to get out of bed too.

“Then wh… oh! Oh my god! We need to get to the hospital!”

“Yep,” Callie said and started to dress up. “Any contractions yet?”

“Nooo,” Arizona whined.

“Are you actually complaining about not experiencing pain?” Callie asked.

“It just means we might have to induce, and everything was perfect until now.”

“Everything is still perfect, Arizona. Go get cleaned up. Do you need help?” Callie asked softly.

“No, I’m good just…”

“It didn’t hit you yet?”

“Nope,” Arizona said and walked towards the bathroom.

“Hey, I’m gonna pick some clothes for you, wake Sof up and put the bag in the car. Call Addison and April? And maybe text Mer just in case?”

Addison has been staying in town since the middle of their 38th week, not on her own dime, obviously.  April and Meredith were informed that if need be, they’ll be woken up  in the middle of the night so someone could stay with Sofia in the waiting room while they were both in the delivery room.

They also had a talk with Sofia beforehand and asked her if she’d rather stay at home or come with them.

She wanted to come. She wanted to meet her sister as soon as possible. But that was before they knew it might be another whole day before that happened.

“It’s funny how you think I’ll be done changing before you’ll be back,” Arizona chuckled.

“We’re leaving Sof here, though, right? I’m just telling her that April will be coming over?” Callie asked. April lived closer.

“Yep,” Arizona agreed, “she might put up a fight.”

“Not at 3 AM she won’t,” Callie argued.

“True that. Okay, I’m gonna do my thing, you’ll do yours,” Arizona said and turned to leave.

“Hey,” Callie stopped her, “we’re gonna have a baby girl.”

“Yes, yes we are,” Arizona replied excitedly.

“I love you so much,” Callie said sincerely.

“I love you, too. Like, tons.”

“Go get dressed so we can go have a baby,” Callie said.

“Roger that.”

* * *

“Son of a bitch!” Arizona yelled.

“I feel ya, sweetie, but you’re gonna have to push for me some more,” Addison said calmly.

It was fifteen hours later, and they were in the middle of the delivery after they chose to induce labor. Arizona was criticizing that very decision as she was pushing.

The whole day had gone by while they were at the hospital. April made sure Sofia went to school, and now their daughter was sitting at the waiting room, half of her mothers’ friends taking turns in watching over her. In a nine year old manner, she wanted to meet her sister and was totally impatient, but not as impatient as her mother, who pushed while imagining a knife going through Addison’s forehead.

The calming words of the OBG/YN didn’t work on her. And then there was another issue – her girlfriend, who was way too cheerful, way too happy and just way too much of everything.

“See?” Callie said sweetly, holding Arizona’s hand yet looking towards what was happening between her legs. “We still have firsts! We were never in a delivery room together! Well, technically, we were, but it wasn’t exactly a delivery room and I wasn’t conscious so…”

“Shut up, Callie!” Arizona said. She’s been trying, trying hard not to take her pain out on Callie, but truthfully, the other woman had no idea how labor actually felt.

“Okay, okay!” Callie said and made a gesture of zipping her lips and throwing the key over her shoulder. That annoyed Arizona even more, and she chose that moment to squeeze Callie’s hand forcefully.

“Ow!” Callie yelped. “Honey I know this sucks but my livelihood kind of depends on these hands,” Callie said and chuckled.

“Then I guess you’ll just have to settle on being a housewife!” Arizona yelled, pushed again and went berserk on Callie’s hand.

Callie was about to say something but Arizona giving her the glare of all glares, made her shut up.

“Push,” Addison said.

“Yes! I know! Why isn’t this baby coming?! When I wanted to sleep she decided to take me for a swim but now that we’re waiting? Nothing!” Arizona complained and pushed.

“I wouldn’t say nothing,” Addison said, “I see the head.”

“Oh my god!” Callie squealed and got up to watch.

“Callie Torres you get back here **right now**!” Arizona demanded.

Callie bolted back into the chair, not daring to say anything, taking Arizona’s hand in her own once more.

“Breathe through the pain,” Callie said quietly.

“I know!” Arizona said.

“I was talking about me,” Callie mumbled.

“Unbelievable!”

“Push!” Addison said again.

“I hate you both!” Arizona growled.

“Push!” Addison encouraged.

“Go to hell!” Arizona demanded.

“Okay, but first push!” Addison insisted.

And Callie? Callie was breathing through the pain. In her hand.

“Callie, say something! Keep me distracted!” Arizona demanded.

“Push!” Addison repeated like a broken record.

“I don’t think I can keep you distracted from this, no matter what I say,” Callie said apologetically.

“Never mind! Don’t say anything! You are useless!” Arizona said.

“Push!”

“Yes, Addison! I know! Push! I think we both know I’d be pushing even if you haven’t… mother fucker!” Arizona exhaled, completely spent. She slumped back on the bed just as a cry was heard in the room.

“Well, then, I’ll be quiet,” Addison said, “but, congratulations and all that, you have a girl,” she smiled widely and presented the newborn in her hands.

“Oh my god,” Arizona said on the verge of tears.

“Oh my god, Arizona, look at her, you did so good!”  Callie said and skipped out of the chair to kiss Arizona’s forehead.

“Calliope, I’m sticky and disgusting.”

“Yeah you are, but you’re also my girl. And you gave me my **baby** girl,” Callie said.

“Cutting the chord, anyone?” Addison asked, passing the newborn momentarily to the nurse who wrapped a towel around her.

Callie glanced at Arizona who nodded softly, still trying to catch her breath.  Addison passed her the scissors, and showed her what to do, and a moment later, the chord was cut, and Tamara was placed in Callie’s hands. Callie hurried back to Arizona’s side, and placed the girl in her hands.

Arizona stared at Tamara with awe and Callie gently put her hand on Tamara’s tummy.

“Hey pretty girl. I’m your mommy, and this is your mama, and we’ve been waiting for you forever,” Callie said. “Arizona, she is gorgeous. Look what you did.”

Arizona smiled at her in exhaustion.

“I think she has blue eyes,” Callie said.

“We’ll see if it stays this way,” Arizona said.

“It will. She’s gonna have her mama’s eyes or I’m taking her back to the store for an exchange.”

“Calliope!”

“And she’s gonna have dimples too, I can tell.”

“Callie, the kid isn’t even ten minutes old. Don’t make her crumble under the weight of the expectations already.”

“What? It’s not like I’m saying she’s gonna be a doctor, which she will, I’m just saying – I’m happy and she’s gorgeous, like her mama.”

“You know what else did good, Calliope?”

“Hmm?”

“The leg you built me. The leg you built me worked like a boss.”

“Did you just say it worked like a boss?”

“Shut up, I just gave birth, let me rest and bring me another Harper Avery.”

“I’d love to let you rest, but I think someone’s hungry.”

“Already? Tam Tam, we’re gonna have to talk about your timing because so far I have to say, I’m very disappointed.”

“Crumbling under the weight of the expectations, and being nothing but a disappointment to her mother. We’re off to a good start,” Callie joked.

Arizona looked at her lovingly, then at their daughter.

“We’re off to a **very** good start,” She concluded.

* * *

Callie and Addison were sitting on the far end of the room. Arizona was in bed, holding Tamara, and Sofia was by her side, looking at her sister with big, curious eyes.  She was absolutely invested. It was love at first sight.

Callie could feel Addison staring at her in concern. Addison knew Arizona and her were back together, but she wasn’t around since the early stages of the pregnancy, and didn’t get to see the two firsthand. She didn’t have time to talk to Callie about it with all the preparations and Callie’s determination to be by Arizona’s side at all times.

“I can feel your eyes practically boring into me,” Callie said quietly, still looking at her girls.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re judging.” Callie knew her friend well and she had a suspicion regarding what Addison might be thinking.

“I’m not judging. I’m… wondering.”

“Well, then your wondering is awfully loud and judgmental.”

“Callie…”

“We didn’t plan this,” Callie blurted and finally turned to look at her friend. “This wasn’t some great ploy in order to get back into each other’s lives.”

“And pants,” Addison deadpanned and Callie snorted.

“Touché.”

“You know I always supported this,” Addison said.

“You have?”

“Yeah didn’t you get the memo? I was really hoping this would bring you back to… something. It’s just… are you sure you’re not doing this because of the baby? That all these feelings aren’t just coming to surface because of the baby?”

“No, Addie. It’s not because of the baby,” Callie stated, “it’s in spite of the baby. I think this is part of why we were so scared to give ourselves another go. Having another baby just means that if things fall apart we have two kids who suffer from this. Sofia will have to go through this **again**.”

“Why, then? I’m just really trying to understand what’s going through your head,” Addison said genuinely.

“What’s going on through my head is that I’m not gonna let things fall apart. You know, Arizona and I were never friends,” Callie explained and looked back at her girls. “When we met we sorta started dating straight away. I never knew her as someone I wasn’t romantically interested in. And then, I got to spend two years being **just** her friend. And I get it now. I get what Mer and Cristina were going on and on about. She’s my person. **And** I’m in love with her. It’s an incredible feeling.”

“Okay, I’m sold. This is all very mature.”

“Approved?” Callie asked.

“Absolutely.”

Callie smiled as she looked at Arizona in bed with their daughters. ‘oh my god,’ she thought, ‘daughters, in plural.’ Then her smile faded.

“I just hope she’d still want to be my person now that she’s hormone free,” Callie said.

“You’re joking, right?” Addison said. A moment later Arizona caught them staring and smiled at them.

“Almost entirely,” Callie said quietly.

* * *

Callie walked into the darkened room quietly. Sofia went to sleep over at Meredith’s while Arizona and Tamara spend the night at the hospital. Which meant that’s exactly where Callie was going to spend the night, too.

A makeshift bed stood next to Arizona’s bed. Good luck saying no to a board member whose girlfriend, who also happens to be a board member, just gave birth.

Callie glanced at the baby in the hospital crib and smiled. Everything was quiet, for now. Surely feeding time would be upon them soon.

“Hey,” Arizona said sleepily. “Where did you go?”

“Oh I’m sorry, I went to take a shower. Tried to do it while you were asleep.”

“Mmm… showered Calliope, I bet you smell nice. And I’m jealous,” Arizona admitted and yawned.

“Do you want me to grab a cloth and at least wash your face and arms?” Callie offered.

“No, thank you. It’s a sweet offer though,” Arizona said and stared at Callie for a moment.

“What?” Callie asked, confused by the intensity of the moment.

“Come here,” Arizona asked and scooted to the edge of her bed to clear some space for Callie.

“Arizona… this bed is tiny and you need to take it easy and be as comfortable as possible.”

“Right, and I happen to know a very comfortable human body pillow. So come here,” Arizona insisted.

Callie finally obliged and got into bed next to Arizona, trying to hold her but give her space at the same time.

“Are you okay? Am I hurting you?” Callie asked in concern.

“You’re fine, Calliope,” Arizona said and after a moment leaned in to kiss Callie tenderly. She put her hand on Callie’s cheek.

“Hi,” she finally said as they broke the kiss.

“Hi,” Callie said and noticed that Arizona was looking at her intently again. “There’s a lot of intense staring going on, Arizona. Are you sure you’re okay?” Arizona didn’t say anything for a few moments.

“I hope you know that you would’ve been in that room with me and cut that chord no matter what, but it’s so much better that you got to do it as my girlfriend,” Arizona finally said and Callie grinned at her.

“And I hope **you** know that I would’ve held your hand no matter what, but yeah, it’s much nicer this way.”

“Even though I was a monster in that delivery room?” Arizona asked in shame.

“Hey, maybe I was the monster,” Callie offered.

“You were,” Arizona said and Callie glared at her.

“I’m really sorry I called you useless,” Arizona admitted.

“It’s okay,” Callie soothed.

“No, it’s not. This pregnancy was so easy compared to the things I hear from other people. **You** made it easy. I felt loved, and cherished and cared for. I was never missing a thing. You took such a good care of me, of us,” she said and looked at the crib at the foot of the bed. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you. So thank you,” she concluded and noticed that tears and Callie’s eyes.

“It was my pleasure,” Callie said and her voice cracked as a single tear came down her face. Arizona leaned in and kissed the tear, then, she got Callie’s lips.

“I love you,” she said.

“And I love you. I’m so proud of you,” Callie said sincerely.

“She’s so beautiful.”

“She is,” Callie agreed. “Everything about her is beautiful. You always knew we’d have another girl.”

“I’m awesome that way.”

“She better keep those blue eyes or I’m gonna throw a tantrum.”

“You’re such a cliché, Calliope.”

“Arizona, you more than anyone should appreciate my love of blue eyes.”

“Just don’t tell me my eyes remind you of the sea.”

“Oh, of course not,” Callie stated.

“Thank you.”

“They remind me of the ocean.”

* * *

**A/N:** yes, the parents were MIA during the delivery. I can assure you it was the girls’ choice and we’ll touch on that later. 


	21. Chapter 21

Arizona walked back into the bedroom, Tamara in her hands.

“You’re up,” she said as Callie came into view, sitting in bed, rubbing her eyes.

“Yeah,” Callie said groggily.

Arizona could breastfeed at the nursery, they had the rocking chair and everything, but sometimes, she liked to come back to the bedroom. Occasionally, Callie would wake up and it would feel like the three of them are having a moment. A milky, sticky moment, but a moment nonetheless. It was special and intimate, and Arizona thought it was beautiful. Even when Callie wouldn’t wake up, though, Arizona liked the way she felt in Callie’s presence. She liked to know that Callie was an arm reach away, and she liked the thought that this way, Tamara still spent time with both of them.

“Hey, you look exhausted, go back to sleep,” Arizona said softly and sat on the bed next to Callie. She leaned on the headboard and took her shirt up so she could breastfeed.

“Na huh, if my babies are up, I’m up too,” Callie said and rubbed Tamara’s tummy.

“You just like staring at boobs,” Arizona stated as their baby leached.

“Your boobs are just an added bonus,” Callie said and yawned. “She isn’t crying.”

“I know, but I heard her stirring so I figured I’d check up on her and the moment I picked her up she tried for my boob,” Arizona explained.

“Smart kid,” Callie said and yawned again.

Arizona smiled softly and then her face got all serious.

“What?” Callie asked in confusion.

“Addison told me what you said.”

“Said about what?” Callie asked. Addison had been gone a while, so Callie couldn’t possibly figure out what Arizona was talking about.

“The hormone free me,” Arizona explained.

“Oh, busted. Thanks a lot, Addie!” Callie said uncomfortably.

“She was just worried. What happened to us talking about all of our fears?” Arizona asked, not in an accusatory tone, but a sad one.

“Hmm… I’m gonna blame this on us being too busy to go to therapy lately.”

“That’s not gonna cut it, Calliope.”

“Did she just tell you?”

“No, but I gave us both some time before I brought it up. You know, with the whole ‘sleep deprived, 2 weeks old baby’ thing.”

“Right, so now, at 4 AM is when you want to talk about it?”

“Yep. Like you said, your babies are up, and so are you.”

“I’m not sure what to say.”

“Do you still feel this way?” Arizona asked softly.

“Hmmm…”

“Oh, Callie, come on. Can you explain to me how on the one hand you tell Addison you know we didn’t happen just because of the pregnancy but on the other you hint that you’re not sure how I’d feel about you now after the birth?”

“Wow, she didn’t leave anything out, did she?” Callie asked, irritated.

“I’m glad she didn’t, Calliope. Do you really feel this way?”

“It’s just a silly fear, Arizona.”

“I thought you knew your fears aren’t silly to me just like I know mine aren’t silly to you,” Arizona argued. Callie said nothing.

“You know what’s really scary?” Arizona continued. “The thought of you not talking to me, the thought of you creating a distance between us, and the thought of us eventually not working. **That** is scary. That’s the scariest thing ever,” Arizona said, her voice broke and she teared up.

Callie realized immediately what she caused by not sharing her feelings with Arizona, and she sat straight, wrapping her arms around Arizona, careful not to squash their baby girl.

“I’m so sorry, Arizona. I didn’t want to sound ridiculous and clingy and instead I did this. I’m sorry,” Callie said and kissed Arizona’s temple.

“Callie you are never ridiculous to me, never. Okay, that’s a lie,” Arizona said and giggled between tears, “you can be ridiculous. But nothing about the way you feel is ever ridiculous to me. I can’t have you keeping the way you’re feeling from me.”

“I understand, I promise, never again,” Callie vowed.

“How could you even think that I would feel differently?” Arizona demanded.

“Arizona, I’d never think you’d do something like this maliciously, I just thought, you know, maybe Tamara would come along, and you’d be tired, and wouldn’t want me around all the time, I mean, I’m literally in your space…”

“ **Our** space, Callie, we’ve been through this.”

“I know, I know! I’m sorry, okay?”

“Say it’s also about the hormones, Callie, I won’t think it’s stupid.”

“It’s… it’s also about the hormones,” Callie admitted.

“That’s totally stupid, Callie!”

“Arizona!”

“What?! How can you think, in a million years, that it’s because of the hormones?! I’m so in love with you! Seriously, How can you think otherwise?!”

“I didn’t think otherwise per se,” Callie said and got a glare in return. “Maybe I just thought that through no fault of your own, you **believed** you loved me when emotions were running high.”

“This is ridiculous. A. I’ve known you… I’ve known **us** long enough to be able sort out how I feel about you and B. I was in denial about the whole thing! I didn’t want to pursue this, because I was scared, because I knew it was real!” Arizona said angrily then remembered there was a baby attached to her boob and that it was the middle of the night. “It’s real!” she whispered.

“Maybe I also thought that you needed me when you were emotionally… something, and that maybe now you’d realize that you don’t anymore,” Callie admitted quietly.

“Oh my god, Callie. I’m feeding a baby at 4 in the morning, how the hell can you even entertain a thought of me not needing you?”

“Yeah, but that’s baby related. I mean **you**.”

“Calliope,” Arizona said softly, “I **always** love you, and I **always** need you. I got used to having the good stuff again. I’m never letting you go.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Because some of this conversation will suggest otherwise.”

“I do know it’s just, I’m…”

“Scared? Because it’s real?”

“A kid changes everything.”

“She did, she brought us back together. Now it’s our job to be great parents to both our kids and make sure we stay together.”

“You are right, I know that you are right.”

“Callie,” Arizona said and looked down at Tamara, “she is the most incredible thing I’ve ever done. This experience,” she looked at Callie, “was incredible. And **you** gave that to me. **You** opened the door. And then you were beside me to experience it all with me. Do you have any idea how much more I love you because of that?”

“You were always really good with speeches,” Callie teased but it was evident that she was deeply touched.

“Tell me how you feel when things get scary?” Arizona asked.

“Always.”

* * *

“Can I just say I’m really glad I walked on you masturbating that night?” Callie said. It was 45 minutes later. Tamara was back in her crib, and the two of them gave up on sleep. Instead, they lay wrapped around each other, enjoying the company and the rare quiet.

“Yeah, falling asleep wasn’t easy that night,” Arizona admitted suggestively, “and that’s an understatement.”

“Same here. I tried not to imagine you while pleasuring myself.”

“Wait, you were trying to pleasure yourself afterwards?” Arizona asked and Callie groaned.

“Yes. And don’t pretend like you weren’t doing the same thing.”

“No comment. Wait, so you were thinking about me? This conversation just got very interesting.”

“How could I not think about you after the little display you presented me with?” Callie argued. “Your boobs were already starting to get bigger. God.” It was very clear that the memories were flooding back.

“You can’t put the blame on me,” Arizona said. “You waltzed into my room uninvited.”

“True, but to be fair, I thought you were dying. Wait, are we trying to find who’s at fault when it comes to the event that triggered us getting back together?” Callie chuckled.

“I guess we are. Though I personally think that me kissing you triggered us getting back together. But what do I know? I’m just a mere initiator.”

“Whatever, Arizona. Less than an hour ago you said that you didn’t want to pursue this at the beginning. And just to be clear?  I **wasn’t** thinking about you that night, eventually. Like I said, I really fought against it.”

“Why?”

“Because you were my supposedly best friend and I didn’t want to violate you, or something.”

“Ha. I was thinking the same thing. We were very stupid, weren’t we?”

“Enough with the word stupid for today. Not stupid, just… slow?”

“Responsible?” Arizona offered.

“That one makes us appear the best. I’m with you.”

“You know it.”

* * *

“So they make us stay stuck at home together for three months? Not the worst that could happen,” Callie said playfully, playing with Arizona’s palm. It was two days later. They were trying to negotiate taking their maternity leave separately, they figured it’ll even be better for the hospital, but the rest of the board didn’t agree. The women suspected it was a scheme to get them to spend more time together.

“But what will we do after the 2.5 months we have left? God. Maybe it’s time to switch. You’ll be a stay at home mom, and I’ll go to the lab.”

“Arizona, you were never, nor will you ever be, a stay at home mom. You like cutting way too much.”

“You make me sound like a serial killer.”

“You’re cute, you’ll have the perfect cover. Of cuteness,” Callie stated.

“Maybe we can pull rank and take a longer paid vacation? Like, I’ll take an extra month, then you’ll take an extra month and by the time we’re both done Tam Tam will be almost six months old.”

“And then we basically won’t see each other for two months?”

“Yeah, this plan needs tweaking.”

“God, Arizona, you know what we should do? We should go back to the lab **together** ,” Callie said and Arizona snorted.

“I’m serious!” Callie said and straddled Arizona, her hands on each side of Arizona’s face.

“We never worked on anything together which is insane! Let’s do… I don’t know, neonatal ortho.”

“Neonatal ortho?” Arizona asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Orthopedic neo? It sounds badass.”

“Because you’re thinking about the Matrix,” Arizona said matter-of-factly.

“Well…I don’t know! I haven’t figured it all out yet! But we can do something innovative, and awesome, and win a Harper Avery together, and be like a super couple. Together, two beautiful daughters, and a Harper Avery.”

“That does sound nice,” Arizona agreed.

“Hey, if we get married, half of my Harper Avery will be yours, so it’s basically like you’ll have two,” Callie said and winked.

Arizona stared at her for a moment before they heard Tamara crying through the baby monitor.

“I’ll get her, you rest,” Callie said and gave Arizona a peck before leaving. She knew all she was doing was to save Arizona the walk to the nursery, because Arizona still had to breastfeed, but if Callie could save her even a bit of the hassle, she did so gladly,

Arizona watched Callie exit the room. She knew Callie was just joking about the whole marriage thing. They were together, they were **good,** and they had a beautiful family. Did they really need more?

‘Eventually, yes,’ Arizona thought.


	22. Chapter 22

“Arizona, come on. You know you want to.”

“That’s not true!” Arizona argued.

“Don’t, because then you’re just lying and we can’t have that,” Callie stated, arms crossed.

“Fine!” Arizona gave in. “I want to!”

“I told you so.”

“I’m sorry!”

“Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who suggested it in the first place.”

They loved being together all the time, they did. What they didn’t love is that their togetherness consisted of their home and their home alone. It was cabin fever at its best and it was starting to wear them down.

“Because it’s like I’m saying ‘babe, I’d rather be outside with my friends than here with you.’” Arizona explained.

“Well, when you put it like that…”

“How would **you** put it?”

“’Babe, I love you, but I’m going stir crazy within these four walls. Thank you so much for loving me enough to let me alter this unfortunate situation of the past month.’”

“Yeah, I like your explanation better,” Arizona agreed.

“I love you, but let’s face it, I’m here at home with you but I can’t breastfeed, most of the weight of this situation falls on you,” Callie said softly.

“Yeah but I enjoy it, my time with Tamara…”

“I know, and then you want Sofia to feel loved too, and then there’s me, and I kinda think you fell asleep on me during sex yesterday.”

“I did not!” Arizona argued.

“Again with the lying.”

“Okay, I did,” Arizona admitted and Callie glared at her. “But only for like a second and I woke up straight away!” she sighed. “This is not good, is it?”

“Nope,” Callie said and wrapped her arms around Arizona’s waist. “But not because I’m upset,” Callie was quick to add.

“You should be! We’ve been waiting for yesterday since the birth!”

“Arizona, you are exhausted, and worst than that, you are bored out of your freaking mind. You need to hang out with humans who aren’t tiny or are your girlfriend.”

 “Alright, genius. And what exactly is your crazy plan?”

“No crazy plan, Arizona, you just go have dinner with April, and maybe Alex, if you don’t mind the smell,” Callie joked and Arizona slapped her arm.

“Yeah, awesome, wonderful. Thanks for the thought. And when the baby wakes up and wants to eat?” Arizona said, eyebrow as high as the sky.

“So I went to the store earlier,” Callie said, “and bought some… formula,” she finished quietly.

“No. Nope. No way. Not gonna happen.”

“Arizona!”

“It’s way too soon, Callie.”

“Arizona, the kid is 4 weeks old, and it’s only this one time. It won’t kill her.”

“What if it makes her stupid?”

“Do I really need to answer this, oh, mighty goddess of pediatrics and neo?”

“I just don’t want to be the mom who neglects her child just because she wants to hang out with her friends!”

“Arizona, you’re not. You’ve been here for four weeks straight. It’s one night. Feed her before you go, then I’ll feed her when you’re out. It’ll be okay. We were gonna have to start making changes soon, anyways.”

“Fine.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, okay,” Arizona said, then realized how harsh her tone sounded and added “thank you, Calliope, you are right. I’m going bat shit.”

“Understandable, I’m glad I can help.”

“When will **we** do something? I wanna have a romantic dinner, I wanna go salsa dancing. I could even do bowling at this point.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I think that’s gonna take a while,” Callie said and kissed Arizona’s temple.

“I know,” Arizona said disappointedly.

“I’ll tell you what,” Callie started, “tomorrow, after family dinner, when the girls are sleeping, we’ll have some homemade dessert. Okay? We can light some scented candles, it’ll be fun.”

“Ohhhh, I’d like that. Maybe I can give you that massage I owe you from so many months ago.”

“Don’t promise anything you’re not sure you’ll be up for, literally,” Callie teased.

“Calliope!”

“I can’t wait for dessert and massages, Arizona,” Callie said and pecked Arizona’s lips.

“Good.  I guess I should go make some phone calls then,” Arizona said and stood up.

“And I’ll make you a little groceries list to pick on the way home, so I can make something tomorrow.”

“No problem,” Arizona said and leaned in to peck Callie’s lips again.

 “What about you?” Arizona asked, “Don’t you want some time off?”

“Well, I missed cheeseburger day with Mer last week, so I can do twice this week if you wanna cover.”

“You got yourself a deal.”

“But Arizona, I’m perfectly happy just staying here with you and the girls, okay?”

“I believe you, but I’m never gonna wait until you’re not perfectly happy. I’m just gonna ask you every now and then if there’s something you want or need.”

“Thank you,” Callie said softly.

“My pleasure.”

* * *

Arizona entered the restaurant.

“Crap!” Alex said when he noticed her and handed a $20 bill to the grinning April.

“What was that all about?” Arizona asked as she sat down.

“I totally though you’d bail,” Alex explained, stuffing his mouth with the dumplings he ordered.

“He said there’s no way you’d actually go through with leaving your girls at home,” April said. “I had more faith in you.”

“And clearly you also bothered to wait for me with the food,” she said and glared at Alex.

“Dude, I was starving, I came straight from work.”

“Jo didn’t mind you leaving her alone with John John tonight?” Arizona asked the father of the 2 year old.

“Actually, she got a girls night out of it, because John John is over at Mer’s having a slumber party with Bailey.”

“Sometimes I feel like our kids are always at Mer’s.”

“That’s because they are,” he confirmed, stuffing another dumpling into his mouth.

“Benji isn’t,” Arizona argued, referring to April’s son.

“Nope! He’s spending the night with his father, who might’ve been happier to send him over to Meredith as well,” April said. Her baby boy recently got into the stage of biting.

They finally looked at the menu and ordered, or in Alex’s case, ordered again.

Years ago some could argue that they were an unlikely group. Arizona always got along well with each one of them separately, but they never hung out as a trio. Then Alex became a father, and wanted to talk about his boy constantly, and things shifted.

The moment the waitress was gone with their orders, Alex decided to start with his investigation.

“So, what’s the story? Are you and Torres gonna get hitched?” two pairs of eyes were staring at Arizona, waiting for an answer. It was clear to her that this was orchestrated before she even got there. Maybe **days** before she got there.

“Wha… what? What are you talking about, Alex? We’ve only been together for like five months,” Arizona defended, pretending like she hadn’t thought about that very same thing just a couple of weeks before.

“Yeah, but really, it’s been years, Arizona,” April noted.

“I… yeah, I know,” Arizona admitted.

“So you **do** want it to happen! I knew it!” April squealed and hugged Arizona.

“Guys, we just had a baby. This is not a good time to make life altering decisions. ” Arizona said quietly. She had no idea how she was basically tricked into admitting she wanted to be Callie’s wife again so soon after they got back together.

“Life altering my ass,” Alex sneered. “You already own a house, and live in it together, and raise two kids together. You are practically married. I, personally, can’t see what would be life changing about tying the knot. But admit it, you want to and you know it. You wanna put a ring around her finger so chicks won’t hit on her in bars,” Alex concluded and devoured the very last dumpling.

“Correction,” Arizona said, “I don’t want chicks, **and** dudes to hit on her in bars,” Arizona stated.

“Come on, Alex, stop being such a Grumpus. Your approach is so unromantic. It’s not about all the logistics and stuff, it’s about commitment. It’s about the promise. The promise of something beautiful,” April argued.

“Then just make a promise and don’t make such a big deal out of it,” he said just as their food arrived.

“Oh my god,” Arizona said, looking straight at him, smirking.

“What?” he asked in confusion and started digging into his noodles.

“You’re totally dying to marry Jo!” Arizona said and April turned to look at him too, matching smiles of realization on both women’s faces.

“What?! No!” he said in a mouth half full.

“Yes, you are! That’s why you spent the last ten minutes explaining to me why marriage is so unimportant. Because you wanna be married, but you aren’t!” Arizona announced victoriously. She knew she was gloating, but she was also happy to direct the conversation away from her.

Jo and Alex have been together for years and just like Callie and Arizona, they lived together, and raised a kid together. And just like Arizona, she realized, Alex wanted more.

“You guys have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said after he swallowed.

“In the words of some silly man, you want to and you know it!” Arizona declared.

“Fine!” he said loudly and then realized that he practically yelled. “Fine!” he whispered. “Are you happy? Can we eat now?”

“I don’t get it, Alex,” April said, “if you wanna get married why don’t you just… you know, get married?”

“It’s complicated,” he said sullenly.

“Then simplify for us, the lesser creatures,” Arizona said sarcastically and he glared at her.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, Robbins, we are not done talking about you,” he stated.

“Yeah, I know, but for now, you seem in distress, and you’re my friend. I want to listen to your problems when you are in distress,” she explained and April snorted.

“You guys are the worst,” he said and got nothing but expecting looks in return.

“Fine. Last time I asked her she said no. Wait, no, it was even worse than that. I thought she said yes, and then she had to explain to me that she, as a matter of fact, said no.”

“Hmm, Alex,” Arizona said softly, “that was a life time ago.”

“Yeah, I bet she’d say yes now,” April added, “she’s probably whining to Edwards on a weekly basis wondering why you haven’t asked her yet.”

“What if she doesn’t, though?” He asked weakly. He really didn’t like to get all touchy feely, but the women were actually telling him something he wanted to hear.

“Alex, what was the reason she said no the first time?” Arizona asked softly, knowing where the conversation was headed.

“She wasn’t ready for the whole marriage, serious life crap,” he said bitterly.

“Right, except now she’s a mother of a two year old,” April noted, “things change. Clearly, she’s ready for all the… serious life crap, as you so eloquently put it.”

“So you guys think I should ask her, ah?”

“I think you have nothing to lose,” Arizona said, “other than maybe just a bit of dignity. It’s not like you’re gonna break up if she says no.”

“Nice, Robbins, are you gonna listen to your own advice?” he challenged.

“Not just yet, no,” Arizona admitted and took a fork full of noodles into her mouth.

“She’s not the point, Alex. But she’s right. The worst that would happen is that things would stay exactly the way they are right now. And things aren’t so bad, are they?” April asked.

“No, not too bad,” he replied and made eye contact with Arizona. They understood each other perfectly at that moment. Life was grand, but it could be grander.

“Plus, if she says no April and I will grab her and hold her upside down from a tall ass dam,” Arizona offered.

“Okay, but be careful, she’s feisty,” he deadpanned and the other women chuckled.

They enjoyed the rest of their meal talking about work, and the kids, and simply being outside of their homes and spending some time with people who weren’t their significant others.

But enough was enough, and by the time the evening came to an end, Arizona couldn’t wait to get back home to Callie.

“Okay, crazy kids, I’ll see you soon. I’m going home to my wi… girlfriend! I’m going home to my girlfriend!” Arizona tried.

“Too late. We heard that,” April said.

 Alex had the smuggest expression on his face.

“ **Now** , we are done here,” he said.

* * *

“Hey!” Callie said as Arizona walked into their bedroom, a joyful expression on her face.

“Are you drunk?” Callie asked in shock.

“Drunk on life, maybe, I’m breastfeeding! Of course I’m not drunk, Calliope,” Arizona said and kicked her shoes off. “The girls?”

“Both asleep. Tamster went down maybe 20 minutes ago”.

“Good,” Arizona said and crawled on the bed towards Callie, throwing the book Callie was holding away.

“What are you…?”

“I had a wonderful evening, and I love you for letting me have it,” Arizona said, “and I just had coffee before we left the restaurant. So now, you and I are gonna try last night’s plan again, and this time, I’m gonna be wide awake.”

* * *

 **A/N:** So in case the time line confuses you, Arizona and Callie got together when Arizona was 24 weeks pregnant. Just a bit before that if you count from the bathroom kiss. She gave birth on week 39 and now they’re a month after that. That’s about 5 months of them being together.


	23. Chapter 23

Callie walked into the bedroom and was welcomed by her new favorite sight. All three of her girls were napping. Sofia snuggled into Arizona who also had Tamara on her chest.

Callie thought she was going to die of happiness, and she cursed her stupid research for still getting her out of the house occasionally, even during her maternity leave.

‘How many important moments am I going to miss because of this freaking job?’ she wondered but also knew she was being unrealistic. Arizona was going to be in a very similar boat once their maternity leave ended, not to mention that Callie wasn’t really, technically, missing out on anything. All Tamara did was eat, sleep and poop, and there was always more from where that came from. So if Callie was being honest, she wasn’t missing much other than the occasional family power nap.

“But I love family power naps,” she said quietly and pouted.

“And family power naps love you,” Arizona said, quietly as well, letting Callie know she was awake.

“I thought you were sleeping,” Callie said softly, leaning on the doorframe.

“I was, but I kinda felt your presence.”

“Right.”

“Okay, no, Sofia is probably poking my kidney, but hey, I got to open my eyes and see you standing there by the doorway, and you look really pretty.”

“Oh, I’m glad I look nice, because I smell like lab.”

“C’mere,” Arizona said, using the hand that was wrapped around Sofia up until a moment ago to gesture Callie to join them.

“But, lab smell.”

“Calliope, these two are the daughters of two surgeons. Lab smell is in their blood. And this tiny one better get used to it sooner rather than later.”

“Yes, I’m sure our 6 week old would appreciate the chemicals when she’s older and has two heads.”

“Stop it, there’s a bear hug situation going on here and it’s missing its fourth participant. Come and pay your dues.”

Callie finally lied down on Sofia’s other side, her arm stretching all the way through Sofia’s waist to Arizona’s stomach, were Tamara’s butt was situated.

Sofia, not surprisingly still sleeping, turned around from facing Arizona, and snuggled into Callie’s body. Callie felt at ease in an instant.

“See? Family power naps love you too,” Arizona repeated.

That was when Tamara started stirring and decided to burst into a cry. It was time to eat.

It made Callie snort.

“You were saying?”

* * *

Not two days went by, and this time Arizona found herself standing in the doorway, staring at Callie who was reading in bed, not realizing she was being watched. Watching Callie had become one of Arizona’s favorite pastime activities. Correction, it became one of her favorite pastime activities **again**.

Watching Callie reading in bed, watching Callie standing in the doorway, watching Callie cook or paint the nursery (these were extra great for Arizona because it involved Callie using her fingers,) watching Callie coming out of the shower. Arizona could watch Callie forever.

It wasn’t just about Callie’s body. All of Callie’s features created that person Arizona was head over hills in love with. Her smile showed her kindness, her eyes showed her love, her body expressed her warmth, and her posture reflected the safety Arizona felt around her. Everything about Callie’s features was a testament of the bigger picture that was the other woman, and Arizona couldn’t get enough.

She sighed in contentment, still leaning on the doorframe, and Callie put her reading material down, finally noticing her.

“Hey,” Callie said softly, “how long have you been standing there?” she asked, well aware of Arizona’s newfound hobby. She had a similar one.

“A while,” Arizona admitted.

“See anything you like?” Callie teased.

“I can name a few things, yes,” Arizona played along and climbed on the bed next to Callie.

“What are you reading?” she asked.

“Orthopedic neonatal surgery articles. Or looking for those, anyway. Surprisingly, they aren’t easy to come by. Okay, maybe not surprisingly,” Callie rambled.

“Oh, you were serious about that whole neonatal orthopedics thing,” Arizona said casually.

“Wait, you weren’t?” Callie asked in concern. She was so excited at the prospect of collaborating with Arizona and she figured the feeling was mutual.

“Oh, I don’t mind it it’s just…”

“Don’t mind it? I thought you **wanted** to do it.”

“Callie, you’re doing that ‘not listening to me ‘till I’m done’ thing,” Arizona said, not scolding, just doing as she promised Callie she would - telling Callie when she was tapping into old habits.

“I’m sorry, you’re right, please, do continue,” Callie said without missing a beat.

“I thought you were just excited in the heat of the moment. Do you even have the time to do it? I mean, between your other two researches, a newborn, Sof, and a girlfriend with a healthy sexual appetite, when will you find the time?”

“Are you kidding? It’ll just give me an excuse to spend more time with my sexually insatiable girlfriend. Hey, we never had sex in the lab.”

“That’s kinda shocking,” Arizona said when she realized it was true.

“Can we still do it if we’re parents? Or is it too slutty?”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

“Is that a yes, then?” Callie asked excitedly.

“It’s an ‘I’m listening.’ Pitch to me, Calliope.”

“Look, no one gives me a time line, Arizona. These are my projects, I can time them as I see fit. You don’t have time now, either, I’m just… laying down the foundation so when things loosen up a bit, we can at least brainstorm. I feel inspired all the time lately, and big part of it is thanks to you. I know it’s like the cheesiest cliché…”

“I love when you are being a cheesy cliché,” Arizona admitted, and leaned in to kiss Callie tenderly, which made the other woman moan softly.

“Mmm… see?” Callie teased. “That, right there, was very…”

“Inspiring?” Arizona finished and made Callie smile.

 “I just really wanted us to get to work on something exciting together. There’s no time stamp on that,” Callie explained softly.

“Well, brainstorming is definitely something we can do,” Arizona relented.

“In like six months,” Callie added.

“Right. Give me something to read,” Arizona demanded.

Callie smirked. “Tam Tam is sleeping, Sofia is over at Mer’s and that’s what you wanna do, oh, insatiable girlfriend of mine?”

“I have brainstorming scheduled in six months time. I need to catch up. I mean, what else would I want to do on the rare occasion of a deserted, quiet house?” Arizona asked.

“Hmm… sleep?” Callie offered innocently.

“I don’t think so, Calliope,” Arizona said and threw the papers from both their hands. Then, she straddled Callie. “ **I** think, that you were suggesting the sex.”

“I really wasn’t, but I mean, if we must,” Callie feigned a sigh. She loved hormones free Arizona. Well, pregnancy hormones free Arizona. Pregnancy hormones free Arizona wanted sex just as often as pregnancy hormones raided Arizona. But hormones free Arizona brought way less crazy to every aspect of their lives. ‘Way less chocolate too,’ Callie thought all of a sudden.

“I’m inspired again,” she said and jumped off the bed.

“Where are you going?” Arizona asked in disappointment. “I was just about to have my mouth all over your body,” she added and Callie felt a shiver goes down her spine.

“I…” she said and coughed, “I told you, I feel inspired. I want to do some painting tonight,” she explained and turned to leave.

“Calliope,” Arizona said seductively and made Callie turn and look at her, “what are you getting?”

“A variety of things,” Callie said and finally left the room.

‘Hormones free Arizona is about to have a little feast,’ Callie thought.

The most important part about hormones free Arizona was that she loved Callie with all her heart, and if Callie had any doubts that things will change between them after the birth, hormones free Arizona soothed these doubts.  By some post birth miracle, she tried to sooth these doubts at least twice a week.

* * *

It was a short, but a glorious evening, and Callie wasn’t sure how long it would last before Tamara would finally wake up. She knew it couldn’t be that much longer.

“When you think about it, this was really two birds, one stone,” Callie said while they were still basking in the afterglow. “We had sex, yes, but technically it was also a date night.”

“How so?” Arizona asked in confusion, sleep threatening to take over even though she knew her daughter’s cries will come through the monitor at any moment.

“It’s as if I took you to an ice cream parlor,” Callie said nonchalantly.

“That doesn’t count, Calliope,” Arizona said after she realized what specific syrup-y activity Callie was referring to. She then yawned.

“It **does** count, and it’s very impressive that the mothers of a newborn still have the time for dates and what follows said dates,” Callie exclaimed.

“Mmm… okay, you win,” Arizona said and Callie knew she was losing her by the minute, so she just wrapped her arms around Arizona and brought her closer.

Callie felt bad, knowing that Arizona was probably exhausted yet would have no actual rest in the near future. She lied in silence, thinking that she should untangle herself from the other woman and make sure Arizona stayed awake. But Callie couldn’t let go. She was thinking how she was never going to let go, how every time in the past when they **did** let each other go, it didn’t take.

“You know I would have followed you, don’t you?” she asked so quietly, not even realizing her thoughts were being verbalized.

“Hmm?” Arizona asked sleepily. She was almost with the Sandman, Callie pulled her back.

“Africa,” Callie said. One of their new rules was to follow through once you started. Never take something back unless it was said in a hurtful way. Never avoid.

Now Arizona was wide awake, and turned around to look at Callie.

“What are you talking about, Calliope?”

“I can’t believe I woke you up for this. It’s stupid. I didn’t mean to.”

“No, tell me,” Arizona said seriously. She could tell it wasn’t stupid at all.

“I think…“ Callie started, “god, I was so miserable without you when you left. I think that if more time had passed, I would eventually pack myself and come to you. Maybe by that point I’d get all the cranky out of my system, too” she admitted for the first time ever.

“Well, it didn’t help that I basically made it an all or nothing kind of thing, even if I never said so out loud,” Arizona offered.

“I guess we have a history of not letting each other process, ah?” Callie said and smiled softly.

“I guess we do. Never again, I say.”

“And I concur,” Callie nodded in agreement.

“Why did you never tell me this before?” Arizona asked.

“Because every time Africa was brought up, it was under angry circumstances. I didn’t think it would matter to you. Or worse, I thought you’d assume it was just an excuse,” Callie admitted sadly.

“I hope I wouldn’t have, but I really can’t honestly answer that. What I can tell you **now** , is that it’s nice to know you would have come for me. Even after all this time,” Arizona admitted and put her hand on Callie’s waist.

“Yeah, you were just quicker to process,” Callie said.

“Callie, I know it’s a sore subject, but I wouldn’t change how things unfolded. If anything was even slightly different we would have never had Sofia.”

“No, we wouldn’t have,” Callie agreed. “So, no regrets,” she stated.

“Except for one,” Arizona said quietly, looking away.

“I hope one day you’ll be able to look at me when you talk about this,” Callie said softly, putting her finger under Arizona’s chin and making her look into Callie’s own eyes.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do that, Callie. But that has to do with me, not with you.”

“You will,” Callie promised, “you’re doing it right now.”

“I guess I am,” Arizona chuckled. “Maybe instead of talking about regrets we should talk about how we shouldn’t let our past be… present anymore,” she offered.

Before Callie had a chance to agree, the baby monitor finally came to life, and Tamara’s cry was filling the room.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Callie said, “right now I think it’s our future that’s present.”

Arizona sighed. “I don’t wanna get up,” she whined.

“Flip you for it?” Callie asked and Arizona glared at her. “What? Reminiscing isn’t allowed either?”

 “Oh, it’s allowed, it’s very much allowed. But right now, Calliope, there will be no flipping, other than you, getting out of this bed, and bringing me this flippin’ baby!” Arizona demanded.

“Ah, yes, the love of a mother,” Callie said and got up.

“Oh my god, did I really just say that?” Arizona said in shock.

“Remember, Arizona, no regrets.”

“Except for this one.”

“Arizona, you’re such a party pooper.”

“No I’m not, I was looking directly at you when I was saying that.”

“Smarty-pants,” Callie said and Arizona snorted. “What?” Callie asked in confusion.

“I just realized that I’m a party pooper and Tamster is a poop partier!” Arizona announced cheerfully and burst into an uncontrollable laughter.

“You really need to sleep, don’t you?”

“I really, **really** do,” Arizona pouted, laughing done as suddenly and sharply as it began.

“Formula,” Callie whispered mischievously as she glided outside of the room, knowing very well that Arizona heard her.  She turned around to see the verdict.

“Fine!” Arizona gave in. She was too tired, and she thought maybe formula was better than a comatose breastfeeding.

“Yes!”

“The world needs a few stupid babies. Not all babies can be smart,” Arizona reasoned and Callie snorted.

“Sleep tight, my love,” Callie said, turned off the light, and left the room.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N** : re: Callie and going to Africa. I always imagined that given more time to process, she’d go after Arizona. Whether it was 2 years down the line, to let Arizona know she’s gonna be there once she gets back, or a while after she found out that she’s pregnant and could still fly. She’d go to present Arizona with the new circumstances, and give Arizona a new choice, or at least make sure Arizona knew how she felt.

It’s not in Callie’s nature to not fight, or take a stand, and so I personally believe that she’d at least go there to say her piece. There are a million different possible scenarios, but we know how canon turned out, so she never got the chance to go **or** to really process.

That’s at least where I’m coming from on both fronts, granted, it’s my personal view of things : )

 

* * *

Callie was standing at the hospital’s parking lot.

Arizona and she had to go in for a board meeting, meaning leaving their daughters with April. Up until now they mostly skyped during meetings, or sent each other as representation, but they were trying to get used to actually leaving the house together again. It was hard to leave a two months old baby with a babysitter for the first time, but April, always the farm girl, and also a mom, seemed to get the enfant smitten within two minutes time.

Callie entertained the thought of taking advantage of their babysitter situation and take Arizona for a coffee date, “maybe even a movie,” she said to no one in particular, but alas, Arizona vanished straight after the meeting and Callie had no idea where she went.

She was pacing, knowing that Arizona couldn’t be MIA forever. The meeting has ended fifteen minutes before, sooner or later, her girlfriend would have to emerge through the doors.

Not a moment later, Arizona finally did.

 “Hey! There you are!” Callie said, “I was waiting for you. Ready to get out of here?”

“Oh, hey!” Arizona said, confused to see Callie there, “sorry, I had no idea you were waiting, I thought you went to pick up the girls. I guess I forgot to tell you. I, hmmm… actually planned on going to the gym.”

“Arizona… we need to take advantage of the fact April has the girls.”

“Exactly! I’m never gonna get a chance to go again!”

“I wouldn’t say never,” Callie said quietly.

“Callie come on, how else am I gonna get rid of this baby fat?”

Callie stared at her for a moment, wheels turning. The coffee was forgotten, so was the movie. She leaned in and whispered in Arizona’s ear.

“I know a cure for baby fat that doesn’t involve the gym,” she said, making the other woman gulp.

“Get the car.”

* * *

It was around 2 PM by the time they got home. They spent the whole ride teasing, and giggling.

Sadly, it wasn’t until Callie pushed Arizona against the shut door, attacking her neck, and hearing a cough, definitely not Arizona’s, that they remembered something very important

“No…” Arizona said quietly enough for Callie alone to hear.

“There is no way we forgot. Is there?” Callie asked in shock.

“Calliope, I think it’s time you get off me, and turn around,” Arizona said miserably. She was just about to have sex, and now she wasn’t going to. And she wasn’t going to, because of **this**.

“Sorry for the interruption, you weren’t answering your phones so we just let ourselves in.”

Callie sighed and turned around.

How could they have forgotten? From all things, how could they have forgotten that it was grandparents weekend.

“Hi, daddy,” she finally said.

“Mom, Colonel,” Arizona nodded. Hugs were in order but the current situation was just too awkward. At both women’s insistence, none of the parents came to visit during the pregnancy, nor straight after the birth. As a matter of fact, the women didn’t even notify their parents until Arizona was 28 weeks pregnant. They didn’t want to deal with all the questions they knew would follow.

The outcome was – the grandparents haven’t seen the women since they’ve gotten back together, nor have they seen their new grandchild.

If it was up to Callie and Arizona they would’ve keep things that way a while longer, but all three grandparents kept pushing, and asking to come. Eventually, they had to give in.

“But if we have to deal with this, we’re getting it all out of the way at the same time!” Callie stated a few weeks prior, hence – grandparents weekend.

They dreaded the day for a while, then they got busy, then they got busy getting busy, and then they forgot.

Yes, they’d finalized everything a couple of weeks before, and yes, Arizona’s mom kept texting almost daily saying how excited she was, but somehow, the women kept treating the day like some impending doom that wouldn’t actually ever arrive, and then it did, and it totally slipped their minds.

Now they had three pairs of eyes staring at them, expectantly.

“Well, I think I speak for all of us when I say we waited long enough,” Carlos said and the Colonel nodded in agreement, “where is my nieta?”

“Hmmm… here’s the thing,” Arizona said, then pushed Callie forward to speak on their behalf.

“Really?!” Callie protested. “Is that your mature approach?”

“Peds surgeon,” Arizona said and pointed at herself, “currently spending all my time with a newborn,” she excused.

Callie snorted and turned to her parents. ‘Like a band aid,’ she thought.

“We had a board meeting we had to go to. Both Sofia and Tamara are perfectly fine with our friend April. Who’s a mom, **and** a trauma surgeon,” Callie said, not sure which title mattered more in this scenario.

“Ah ha,” Carlos said and stared at them.

“What?” Callie asked.

“So you’re telling me, you left your child and newborn at a friend’s house to come here and have sex?” he finally asked, making both women groan.

“This is so embarrassing. I haven’t been caught by my parents since I was seventeen,” Arizona whispered in Callie’s ear.

“We can hear you, you know,” said the Colonel.

“Arizona Robbins did you really desert you two months old baby?!” Barbara Robbins asked in shock.

“Mom I didn’t **desert** her, per se, it was more like…”

“Arizona!” Barbara said in shock.

“Calliope Torres what were you thinking? You completely forgot we were coming, didn’t you?” Carlos asked, glaring from Callie to Arizona, who gulped.

“First, you forbid us from being there during the birth,” Barbara started.

“Actual forbidding!” Daniel agreed, “I am a Colonel in the US Marine corps, young lady! How many people do you think have forbade me during my life time?!”

“And then to make matters worse you refuse to let us come visit for the first two months!” Carlos argued.

“But you put all these photos on Facebook to taunt us!” Barbara complained.

“And then you totally forgot that we were coming! What happened to looking at your agenda three times a day, Arizona?” Daniel inquired.

“We didn’t forget you were coming,” Callie tried, “we just had a board meeting and lost track of time.”

“Your fridge is half empty, mija. You said you were going to cook for all of us,” Carlos reminded.

“We just miscalculated time, that’s all,” Arizona came to her girlfriend’s rescue. “We thought we’ll come here, drop some stuff, go buy some groceries, pick the girls up and voilà!”

“Good save,” Callie said quietly.

Three pairs of eyes were staring at them for the umpteenth time.

“Not good enough,” Arizona added.

“I’m not sure I’ve been scolded like this since **I** was seventeen,” Callie whispered to the other woman.

“I know, we both got the full name treatment,” Arizona agreed. “Divide and conquer?” she suggested.

“Yes please,” Callie confirmed and each woman went to deal with her own parents.

Callie dragged her father towards the nursery, and still managed to hear Barbara saying something that sound suspiciously like “birth.”

“Calliope, I do not like these games,” her father said when she pushed him gently into the nursery. He looked around him, examining the room.

“What do you think?” Callie asked in concern. His back was turned to her and she couldn’t see his reaction.

He walked towards the crib and finally turned around.

“I think you did a fine job with this room,” he said.

“Thank you, I had to put it together myself,” she replied, pride evident in her voice.

“That’s just because you didn’t let us come sooner,” he blamed.

“Aaaand there it is,” Callie exclaimed.

“I’m serious, mija. Daniel and I would’ve helped with the furniture, and I’m sure Barbara would have loved to paint with you.”

“I was really happy to do this on my own, daddy.”

“It took you way too long to let us come and you know it. I almost decided to surprise you.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” she said, “no that came out wrong. There was just a lot going on.”

“We could’ve helped with that,” he stated.

“No you couldn’t have,” Callie said and groaned. “Fine. You want the real reason why I waited this long? It’s because I didn’t trust you enough to behave nicely around Arizona. It’s not her fault you didn’t know about this until a late stage of the process. She had her own reasons not to tell her parents.”

“I know it isn’t her fault. It’s your fault.”

“What?! No, no faults! Just… logic.”

“Yes fault. You are insulting me. You know I have nothing against Arizona. You two have been friends for years, and she’s been a perfect mother.”

“So you’re saying… you are supportive of us being back together?” Callie asked in surprise. He simply stared at her in concentration. “What?” she asked.

“Mija, this is your second child out of wedlock.”

“What wedlock, daddy? Even our first wedding wasn’t exactly an official thing.”

“Because you couldn’t have an official thing back then, but that has changed. I’ve been reading…”

“You have?”

He glared at her.

“You have. Okay.”

“You can now legally marry in the state of Washington,” he stated.

“Yeah but it has no religious hold what so ever.”

“But it **can** have religious hold, though.”

“Not in the eyes of… some people,” Callie noted sadly.

“This is not about your mother, Calliope. You can get a minister. You can get a priest. It’ll mean something in **my** eyes, and it’ll mean something in your eyes, too.”

“Why are we even talking about this?” Callie asked in frustration.

“You two share a house, and raise two children together. You should get married.”

“Daddy, we’ve only been together for six months.”

“Calliope, I think we both know you’re never going anywhere else.”

Callie sighed. “So your only issue with this whole situation is that we aren’t married?” Callie asked, frustrated, yet pleasantly surprised.

“Yes, that, and the fact that I am yet to see my grandkids.”

Callie pulled him by the sleeve into a tight hug.

“I’m not sure what’s happening, but it’s good to see you, mija,” he smiled and rubbed his daughter’s back.

She released him, took his hand and led him back to the living room.

“We are not done talking,” he reminded.

“We are done for now. I love Arizona, I love the girls, I’m not gonna think about anything else right now,” Callie said.

“I don’t like this,” Carlos stated but before Callie could argue, they reached the living room.

“I was just gonna pick the girls up, Calliope,” Arizona said the moment she spotted the other woman. ”Join me, **please** ,” she urged and Callie mouthed a ‘thank you.’

“Entertain yourselves, we’ll be back shortly. With groceries!” Callie announced and the women bolted out of the house.

* * *

Hours later, lying in bed, they couldn’t deny they all had a lovely evening. The women had a quiet car ride, each lost in thoughts of the conversations they had just before the ride.

They bought food, picked up the girls, and while the grandparents were all over their daughters, Callie was cooking them all dinner and Arizona helped, which mostly consisted of her favorite activity of watching Callie.

If either of their parents had any unfinished business conversation wise, they were smart enough to not bring it up again that night. After dinner, all five of them rotated between cleaning, getting Sofia ready for bed (which at her age mostly meant pre-sleep school activities discussion), and putting the living room in order. At some point Arizona quietly disappeared into the nursery to breastfeed.

After bed time, all the adults sat down for wine, and even Arizona had a glass. It was time to start pumping, she knew, and though logically she understood she had nothing to fear, the thought made her cringe. Callie, who watched her, knew exactly what she was thinking, and grinned.

Their parents finally left to one of Carlos’ hotels, giving them some time alone. They were lying in bed, each staring at the ceiling for a while, lost in thoughts once more.

“It was a nice day,” Callie said, finally breaking the silence in the bedroom.

“It was,” Arizona agreed.

“I love them but I’m glad they are leaving tomorrow night. I could really use a relaxing Sunday. I’m exhausted.”

“You don’t need to tell me,” Arizona concurred and they fell into comfortable silence again.

“Do you ever think about your brother?” Callie asked softly, turning her head to look at Arizona who was doing the same thing.

“Not as much as I used to,” Arizona admitted. “But on days like today? When I’m happy and surrounded by family? He’s always present. By not being present,” Arizona explained sadly.

“Yeah, that’s how I feel about my mom. Not that I’m comparing!” Callie quickly corrected.

“Calliope, it’s fine. She’s also present by not being present, I understand.”

Callie nodded but said nothing.

“You never tried to work things out with her? After we… you know.” Arizona wanted Callie to understand that she was interested, but not pushy.

“ **She** tried,” Callie said sadly.

“She did?”

“Yeah,” Callie confirmed and started to laugh. “The moment she found out we broke up she was on a plane. My father gave me a heads up. He had no clue she was coming until he got home and found a note.”

“Then why wasn’t she here today?”

“Arizona, come on. She came here thinking some demon that possessed me for years was finally gone. I told her that just because you and I weren’t together anymore, didn’t change who I was, didn’t change the fact I was still a bisexual. I told her there was still a chance I’d end up with a woman. Heck, I told her I was still in love with you.”

“You did?”

“Of course I did, Arizona. I wasn’t gonna turn my back on everything we had and were just to make her temporarily happy. Then what? I’d end up with a woman and would have to see her vanish out of my life all over again? No thanks. I preferred to not let her back in to begin with and surprise surprise, I ended up with a woman. The same woman.”

“Ah, yes, I am the demon that posses you, aren’t I? I’m sure she’s very happy about this development,” Arizona said.

“I have no idea how she feels. I don’t want to know. Maybe one day she’ll come around and if that’d be the case I’d do my best to work with her, but it took me so long to get to a point of being happy with who I am, feeling good about myself, I’m not letting any negative influences into my life, near my children,” Callie said coldly. She missed her mom, some days, like today, more than others, but she couldn’t be around a mother who wanted her to apologize for who she was.

“I’m really sorry, Calliope.”

“Don’t. You have no idea what you’ve given me. If it was up to her, I wouldn’t have had all of this, and I wouldn’t exchange this for anything,” Callie said sincerely and put her hand on Arizona’s waist.

“I love you so much,” Arizona said.

“I love you, too. Hey, I didn’t even get to ask you how your talk with your parents went.”

“It was okay,” Arizona said, “probably not as stressful as yours. I swear, you put down your dad and the Colonel for a staring contest and I’m not sure who’s gonna win,” she stated and Callie chuckled. “How was the talk with good old Carlos?”

“Yeah, okay. Nothing interesting to report. He sort of approves of the whole thing.”

“Sort of?”

“Yeah, he reacted surprisingly well,” Callie confirmed.

“I think my mom just wants a third grandkid so she can have a do over and be here for every single step of the way,” Arizona joked.

“Maybe in a few years,” Callie said and smiled.

“Maybe,” Arizona agreed. “Hey, remember that time when we deserted our girls for sex and our parents totally caught us making out?” she asked.

“Boy, do I ever?”


	25. Chapter 25

“Don’t freak out.”

“Arizona, I’m not freaking out! I am, however, experiencing a little feeling of a déjà vu.”

“Callie, how can you not freak out?” Arizona demanded.

“I don’t understand. Do you **want** me to freak out?”

They were walking in a parking lot towards their destination, doing their usual dance of walk and talk.

“No, of course not, I just want you to know that I’m here for you,” Arizona reassured.

“Arizona, relax. If things don’t go well today, which I very much doubt, we’ll try again.”

It was their hearing day at court, and though logically Arizona knew this was almost a technicality, she couldn’t help but being a bit on the panicky side. She nodded at Callie’s words but said nothing.

“Hey,” Callie said and laced their fingers, “we rocked that home visit. We already have a daughter together. He’ll be nuts, not to mention ridiculous and unreasonably spending taxpayer money, to not let us do this.”

“Well but it’s a newly appointed judge! Kira said she’s never even had a case with him before! What if he’s against same sex couples? What if he says no because we’re not married?!” Arizona rambled in fear.

“Why do you assume the worst?”

“Because you assume the best and someone needs to be the pessimistic voice of reason!”

“Okay, but your so called voice of reason is scared of gay discrimination. There’s no way of knowing either way how he feels about the subject, but most likely, we’re in the clear. And we raised Sofia just fine without being married,” Callie argued.

“We raised her more than fine. She’s perfect! The social worker saw that, right?” Arizona asked hopefully.

“You kidding? I think she wanted to steal her from us. Look, we had a year full of great news. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. Shoes are always gonna be droppin’. It probably won’t happen when you wait for it to happen. It’ll happen annoyingly unpredictably.”

“Fine, you win. You’re the **super** pessimistic voice of reason,” Arizona stated.

“I’m not. I just think it’s pointless to worry about what’s out of our control,” Callie said and squeezed Arizona’s hand. Arizona stopped and stared at her for a moment, absorbing her words.

“God, you are right,” Arizona finally said, “why am I being so insane about this? Why am I **always** being so insane about this?”

“Because you care,” Callie stated simply, “you care like crazy, and I love that,” she concluded and leaned in to kiss Arizona’s temple, letting herself linger for a moment. The other woman hummed at the feeling.

“I do,” Arizona agreed, “but bad things will happen no matter what. You’re right. So let’s just… be happy when we can be happy.”

“Exactly,” Callie said as they resumed their walking.

“And if something bad happens we’ll deal with it when it does,” Arizona added.

“Yes, together.”

“We are more emotionally equipped today. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thank god for therapy,” Arizona said and chuckled.

“Yes, on both counts,” Callie agreed.

“So if not today, we’ll just try again. That’s the amazing, completely original thought I just had,” Arizona teased and Callie rolled her eyes.

“I know I’m her mother,” Callie promised, “and I know you’ll never take her away from me.”

“Of course not, you’re stuck with all of us for good,” Arizona stated just as they arrived to the courthouse.  “Now let’s get you that paper.”

* * *

A young man entered the room and waived them off as they were standing to honor him.

“Okay ladies, let’s make this quick,” he said. “It’s date night with my husband and he’s making fajitas.”

“Oh, we so got this,” Callie whispered in her ear.

And they did.

* * *

They were trying to be respectful, so they just held hands as they left the courthouse. They kept their PDA to minimum all the way to the car as well, but the moment they got to the car, Arizona spun Callie around, pushed her against the car’s door and kissed her fiercely. She was so happy she couldn’t contain it inside of her any longer.

“You are the mother of my child,” she said, tears in her eyes, the moment they broke off the kiss. They were both breathless and flush but their eyes were boring into those of the other.

Arizona remembered the day Sofia became hers. She became a legal guardian when Mark was still alive, but after he died, after the first year following her injury, they made sure Arizona went through a second parent adoption.

Sofia was the joy of their lives, but there was always a sad element involved. First, Sofia wasn’t **just** theirs, and then, when Mark died, she hated herself for ever wishing that Sofia would only be theirs.

This was different.

This was her and Callie, hand in hand from the get to. They started this journey together but apart, and they finished this specific leg of it together in every meaning of the word.

This part ended, but everything was just beginning.

“It’s all beginning,” she said quietly to her confused girlfriend, and leaned in to kiss her again. She put her hands in Callie’s hair and crashed her forcefully into her own body.

She wouldn’t let her go, she wanted to feel her everywhere, and she knew it was a cheesy thought but it wasn’t about feeling Callie all over her body, it was about feeling her everywhere in her heart. Kissing Callie the way she was, was the closest thing she got, and when they finally broke the kiss to get some air, they leaned their foreheads against each other’s.

“Happy, are we?” Callie teased, still breathless.

“I love you so so much,” was Arizona’s reply. 

“I love you, too. It’s blowing my mind sometimes. You and I,” Callie said, grinned, and closed her eyes.

They were just standing like that for a few moments. Eyes shut, foreheads touching, like in a haze.

“Well, now I have no reason to get hysterical for a while,” Arizona finally joked, breaking the silence. It made Callie jump and look at her in horror.

“What?” Arizona asked in confusion.

“Oh my god, I have a second child!” Callie was suddenly hit by the notion full force.

“Yeah, you’ve had her for 2.5 months now,” Arizona stated matter-of-factly.

“What was I thinking?! With work, and research, and Sofia…” Callie rambled and Arizona simply stared at her, inappropriately amused. “I don’t have the time for all of this! Maybe I should just take some time off from research.”

“You can’t let your brain not to be innovative. You’re just not wired that way, and neither am I,” Arizona soothed and put a lock of Callie’s hair behind her ear.

“What the hell am I going to do?!” Callie asked and Arizona leaned in, her mouth next to Callie’ ear.

“You’ve been perfect so far,” she said, “I would keep going the exact same way,” she concluded and bit the flesh below Callie’s ear, forgetting, not caring, that they were still outside, fooling around in a parking lot like a couple of teenagers.

Callie moaned at the sensation. “What are you doing?”

“I’m… ah, helping,” Arizona said and bit lower, then lower, until she got to Callie’s neck. “You’re gonna raise that baby girl with me,” she bit again, “and wrap your first research soon, as planned,” she bit once more, “and continue with the pregnancy prosthesis,” she bit again, “and work on a new research with me. And somewhere, between all of the above, we’ll find time for this, too,” she concluded and passed her tongue all the way from Callie’s neck to her ear. When she reached Callie’s ear she turned Callie’s face towards hers and kissed her.

She finally pulled away and looked at Callie who was completely flushed but still managed to say “that’s only if I don’t get caught for indecent exposure before I get to do all of that.”

Arizona burst into laughter, feeling light, and happy. Callie’s tone was so serious, and so unfitting for what they’ve just been doing, that laughing was the only possible response. Callie smiled and joined her.

“I just went completely crazy,” Callie realized, “haven’t I?

“Don’t worry,” Arizona assured, “tomorrow I’ll be crazy. Wait, no, I was just crazy up until 90 minutes ago.”

“We are totally hopeless.”

“I beg to differ, oh, pessimistic one,” Arizona teased.

“Oh, I refuse ending this day being the pessimistic one,” Callie argued, “I just adopted a baby. I’m on top of the world!”

“Great, well, if we get out of here in the next five minutes it’ll give you time to be on top of something else.”

* * *

They were sitting on the couch in the living room, cuddled, watching TV. Sofia was already asleep, and they were about to turn in too, knowing their next awakening was pending. Their sleeping fate was in the hands of a 10 weeks old.

“I’m dozing off,” Callie said, “I think I’m gonna head to bed.”

“Okay, same here,” Arizona agreed.

Callie got up, and gave Arizona a hand.

“Hey, can I take you to dinner tomorrow? To celebrate?” Arizona asked.

“Of course, I’d love that,” Callie said and leaned in to peck Arizona’s lips.

Just as they picked the baby monitor to carry with them to the bedroom, Tamara’s cry came through.

Arizona instinctively started walking towards the nursery, but Callie grabbed her wrist gently, stopping her.

“Let me,” she asked and Arizona smiled in understanding. It was Callie’s day after all. It was about all of them, but it was Callie’s day first.

“You sure? You’re exhausted.”

“I’m sure,” Callie confirmed.

Arizona finally started pumping about a week before, letting herself getting used to the sensation before it would become a few times a day occurrence.

“I’ll see you in bed,” Callie winked and left the room to get Tamara’s milk.

Arizona went to their bedroom and changed, but she couldn’t help herself from drifting towards the nursery.

She leaned on the doorway, quietly, looking at Callie who had Tamara in her arms and was oblivious to her presence.

“You’re my girl, you know that?” Callie whispered to the infant.

The sight made Arizona’s heart beat faster. She knew how Callie must be feeling.

When she got legal guardianship over Sofia, Callie took her out on a picnic. They took Sofia with them. They let her crawl on the picnic blanket and thanked their lucky star for the beautiful day.

Callie gave her a gorgeous necklace in the shape of a fish. Arizona loved it immediately but Callie, as always, had to explain.

“Okay here’s the thing. I know fish are ridiculously ugly, but I thought this one was classy, and pretty, and… pink! And, I mean, fish symbolizes miracles and Sofia is our miracle. You gave her life, Arizona,” Callie noted and Arizona begun to tear. “And it also symbolizes sea magic,” Callie continued, “which I thought, you know, The Little Mermaid! Disney! Fun!”

“I love it, Calliope,” Arizona said, “it’s gorgeous,” and it was. Subtle, and classy indeed, and made of silver.

“Good,” Callie said in relief, “because I wouldn’t have gotten you anything I wouldn’t be remotely okay with tattooing on myself, you know,” Callie explained.

“Wait, you would be okay with getting a tattoo?!” Arizona asked in shock. Callie’s initial thought was that Arizona was judging her, but Arizona wasn’t. Arizona secretly thought that a mildly tattooed Callie Torres would be hot as hell.

Now, as Arizona was standing at the doorway, staring at her girlfriend feeding their daughter and humming a song, she couldn’t help but smile at the memory. Smile, and think about the phoenix necklace she had waiting in the bedroom. Phoenix, for second chances, new beginnings, and to go with her own animal necklace.

She didn’t get to wear hers very often, but every time there was a “Sofia date”, a birthday, a first day of something and so on, she did, even when Callie and her were apart.

She left quietly, letting Callie have some alone time with their second miracle, and waited for her in bed.

A few minutes later, Callie walked into the room and got into bed.

When she turned to look at her girlfriend, she saw the necklace Arizona was wearing and smiled widely.  Then she saw Arizona had a fancy leathered box in her hand and her smile grew tenfold.

It was a very good day.

* * *

 **A/N:** [This](http://www.dhresource.com/albu_278729954_00-1.0x0/fashion-faceted-crystal-glitter-lovely-fish.jpg) is Arizona's necklace. 

If anyone is interested in the subject of second parent adoption (which is what they did here and what is safe to assume they’ve done on the show with Sofia) [this](http://nwnetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/2011-Legal-Parenting-Issues-for-Same-Sex-Couples4.pdf) is probably the best thing I found while researching.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N** : Okay, while I always did my research, as I did this time as well, the medical stuff is more of a fruit of my imagination. I was inspired by some stuff I read but this doesn’t mean any of this is true, or accurate. Let’s delve into the **fiction** part of fanfiction, and more explanations are at the end. Enjoy!

* * *

Callie was lying in bed, trying to read a book while actually being depressed that in two days time she’d have to go back to work. She missed cutting, she missed consulting, but as bubbles go, this would be the thing that would burst **their** little bubble.

She wasn’t worried. She was just sad. Arizona and her got back together during the pregnancy and ever since then, they were in some sort of a honeymoon phase, granted, with a baby on the way and a nine year old, but still. Then Tamara came along, and with Sofia coming back from school and her mothers being home when she did, they spend so much time together as a family. It was a perfect little cocoon of joy and sleep deprivation and she never wanted it to end.

Arizona took two more weeks of paid leave, and Callie was bound to do the same once Arizona got back to work, so they could postpone putting Tamara in a day care for another month. But even so, once one of them was back at work, the bubble would burst and be gone.

Callie huffed, book forgotten, as Arizona walked into the room.

“Oh, there you are! You were so quiet, I didn’t know in which room you were,” she said and lied down next to Callie.

“Maybe I should just become a stay at home mom,” Callie said, keeping her pre Arizona’s entrance line of thought going.

“Oh, sweetie,” Arizona said in sympathy. She dreaded going back to work in two weeks, and she hated that Callie would start leaving their bed early, and unlike the times when Callie fed Tamara, she won’t be back to bed afterwards.

“Maybe we should **both** become stay at home moms and live off of my trust fund,” Callie offered.

“Would that set a good example to the girls, though?” Arizona asked as if that was the only problem with the scenario. “Two unemployed mothers, burning all of their grandfather’s money?”

“I suppose not,” Callie sighed, “you and your logic.”

“Trust me, I hate my logic and I’m gonna miss you tomorrow morning,” Arizona admitted and pecked Callie’s lips.

Callie hummed in pleasure. “I’m gonna miss you, too,” she said.

“This is all very nice, don’t get me wrong, but I actually came over to tell you -I have an idea!”

“No, Arizona, the trust fund idea was mine. You find your own idea.”

“A **research** idea Callie.”

“Arizona, our brainstorming is scheduled for three more months! Stop being such an overachiever!”

“You got me all excited about this, what was the word you used? Inspired. Don’t be a party pooper now,” Arizona countered.

“You’re playing dirty, making this my fault,” Callie stated.

“I love playing dirty,” Arizona admitted.

“I am well aware,” Callie said in a low voice. “Okay, tell me all of your glorious thoughts. Oh, overachiever one.”

“Okay, first of all, I’m sorry to ruin your Matrix dreams and don’t be upset, but we should really name the whole thing ‘fetal orthopedics.’”

“What?! Why?” Callie whined. “It sounds depressing!”

“Because the neonatal period refers to the first 4 weeks of the baby’s life,” Arizona explained. “Hence, not fitting for what we’re trying to describe.”

“God you’re such a baby snob!” Callie whined.

“Do you really wanna lose our Harper Avery over a technicality?!”

“Fine. Tell me more.”

“Okay, what would you say is the most severe deformity in a newborn?”

“Easy,” Callie replied, “Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita.”

“Okay, yeah, but that also involves neuro and we don’t want Derek in on this,” Arizona stated.

“Don’t wanna share with the other kids, Arizona?”

“Calliope, how are we to execute our sex in the lab plan if Derek is there?”

“That’s a very good point. Continue, please.”

“So Developmental Dysplasia of the Hip!” Arizona announced victoriously.

“DDH? What about it?” Callie asked in confusion.

“Well as of today, you can only do a Barlow maneuver to determine its existence after the baby is already born…”

“Uh oh, Arizona…”

“I know what you’re gonna say. The baby has to be calm, and you need to listen for a “clunk” sound as you perform the exam.”

“Yes, Arizona. It basically means you dislocate the hip.”

“I know but…”

“And any additional exam happens at three to six months,” Callie continued.

“I know but…”

“And some of these things are forming **after** the birth anyways, the femoral head doesn’t ossify until three to six months of age as well, so…”

“Callie, shut up!”

“Okay, okay I’m listening!”

“This is a two part thing, and you’re not gonna respond until I finish,” Arizona ordered.

“Okay.”

“So. Part 1, we do a pre-birth detection. Part 2, pre-birth treatment inspired by the Pavlik harness.”

Callie said nothing.

“Well?!” Arizona asked in anticipation, excitement evident in her entire physique.

“Wait, that’s it? You’re done?!”

“Hmm, yeah.”

“Okay, in that case – are you insane?!”

“Calliope…”

“DDH **can’t** be detected before birth! The whole point is that I need to adduct the hip, and apply pressure on the knee. The hip and the knee, Arizona, can’t be adducted nor pressured if they’re still inside the womb, can they now?”

“Callie…”

“We’re not going to open the mother up just so I can play with a pre-developed hip and knee to detect it! And how on earth can I implant a Pavlik harness when the baby is still in the womb?! Are you nuts?! Have you ever seen how this harness looks like?!”

“I’m a neonatal and a pediatric surgeon, Calliope.”

“Exactly!” Callie said in frustration.

“I’m suspecting that maybe you don’t like my idea,” Arizona said calmly.

“It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that what are we? A sci-fi movie? I’m sorry, in theory, it could’ve been great, Arizona, but all of this is insane!”

“Because making an amputee walk using his nerves is not?” Arizona countered, still calm.

“This is different.”

“Why is it different?”

“Because it’s not possible,” Callie concluded.

“Calliope, listen to me. I never thought making cartilage out of nothing was possible, but I’ve seen you do it with my own eyes. I never thought it could be possible for me to walk again without even thinking about it, but I’m doing it every single day. I did it during my pregnancy, all thanks to you,” she looked at Callie intently, and saw that the other woman was finally truly absorbing her words.

“Everything you achieved was at some point impossible,” she continued, “but things are only impossible until someone finds a way to turn them to reality, and you, Callie Torres, are just that good. And you know what else?”

“What?” Callie asked softly, touched by Arizona’s words.

“You’re going to have one of the best brains in the fetal medical world co-developing this with you. That person is me, by the way.”

“Yeah, I figured as much,” Callie finally allowed herself a smile.

“I know you can’t open a mother up just to test the child’s hip. It’s not worth the risk, and like you said, it’s a pre-developed hip anyways. So here’s what we do – we develop a new way of determining. We find the early signs.”

“How?”

“That’s why it’s called a research, Calliope. I don’t know how. We find a way. We find a way to see it in an x-ray, or in an ultrasound, or better yet, make something new altogether, invent a new type of an exam. We find a pattern. We ask the question – what all babies with the condition have in common?  What did they all have in common during the pregnancy? And we go from there.”

“You’re being very philosophical about it and somehow, it’s working.”

“I’m pure magic,” Arizona stated.

“You are.”

“Yeah, thanks, like I said, amazing brain. And then, you develop something that’s **inspired** by the harness.”

“That word again,” Callie chuckled.

“Yes, just imagine, tiny rubber casts, or… something. You can create a whole new material, you’ve done it before. It’ll be like healing a bone before it even breaks. Helping it growing right in the first place. **If** we detect the DDH, **then** we open the mother and install it.”

“You’re a genius, it’s so hot. I’m so in love with you right now,” Callie said matter-of-factly.

“All important, yet already known notions,” Arizona confirmed.

“So, we start to think about this?”

“Less now, more later. But yeah, if you like it, I think that’s what we should do.”

“I love it Arizona.”

“Good. I love it, too.”

“This will take forever,” Callie stated.

“Good, more quality time for us. Remember when you were working on your cartilage and I came over to eat with you?”

“By that you mean to make sure I was eating,” Callie corrected.

“It was a really nice time for us, Callie,” Arizona said tenderly.

“It really was,” Callie agreed.

“This is also a nice time for us,” Arizona noted and Callie nodded. They fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments, Arizona letting Callie absorb all the information. She could see the wheels turning in Callie’s head.

“Fetal Orthopedics, ah?” Callie finally asked, breaking the silence.

“Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.”

* * *

Callie walked into the house after a long day. It was her first day back at work and she was strongly considering her stay at home mom plan again. She was exhausted, she was cranky, she missed her girls all day long, and she could use a bath.

She already knew she missed Sofia’s bedtime. It was like a bad omen, first day back and already making sacrifices. The house was quiet, so Callie knew Tamara was currently sleeping. That left only one of the girls awake.

The smile of that girl, that woman, could light up Callie’s world, so that’d definitely do.

She entered the bedroom. It was dimly lit. Arizona was sitting in bed, reading. Callie noticed that there was a big brown envelope on her own pillow.

“Hi!” Arizona said, her volume low in the late hour, but her eyes sparkling.

“Hi,” Callie replied softly and walked towards the bed, to peck Arizona’s lips. Just being in her presence made Callie feel better already.

When Callie’s lips touched her own, Arizona put her reading material aside and pulled Callie into a hug that basically left Callie lying on top of her. Callie instinctively wrapped her arms around Arizona’s body.

“God I missed you so much,” Arizona said.

“I missed you, too. How on earth are we going to do this every single day?” Callie asked miserably, tightening her hold on her lover.

“We focus on the good things,” Arizona replied, “like our amazing research, and that envelope on your pillow.”

“What is it?” Callie asked and rolled off of Arizona and into her side of the bed.

“Why don’t you see for yourself,” Arizona said and smiled widely.

Once Callie saw the address on the envelope, her smile, while being a tired one, still mirrored Arizona’s.

“The adoption papers,” Callie said and sighed in happiness. She opened the envelope and found Tamara’s new birth certificate inside. Both their names were on it. She showed it to Arizona proudly.

“See? You already feel better, don’t you?” Arizona inquired.

“I felt better the moment I walked into the room and saw your face.”

“Sweet talker,” Arizona teased, but wrapped her arm around Callie’s midsection and put her head on Callie’s chest.

 “This is a cause for a party, Calliope,” she said, breathing in the scent of the woman she missed all day. She knew Callie would argue that she smelled like the hospital, but to Arizona, she just smiled like Callie. “I’d really love to take you to dinner this weekend, maybe Friday? I want us to celebrate. We can go to our place.”

“Two weeks ago it was the court hearing, now it’s the papers. You know we’re either gonna go bankrupt celebrating these occasions or fund their second branch, right?” Callie joked.

“We flew Addison in and out so many times during the pregnancy, I don’t think dinners are what’s gonna make us bankrupt,” Arizona countered.

“Arizona Robbins, I’d love to go on a celebratory dinner with you on Friday night.”

“Good. If you play your cards right, girls situation depended, you might even get lucky.”

* * *

 

 **A/N:** [this](http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&ved=0CDAQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpediatrics.med.unc.edu%2Feducation%2Fcurrent-residents%2Frotation-information%2Fnewborn-nursery%2FNeonatalOrthoIssues.ppt&ei=dnaCVMLUNqiwsATz-YDwBg&usg=AFQjCNGUjCCkI62R8sVslBXV_7FwxWzeqA&sig2=RJ_pPIpaN3AK3qz8pCsBjQ) is a presentation that was useful in the making of this chapter. 


	27. Chapter 27

Arizona walked into the house and groaned.

“I know, baby, I know,” Callie said from her place on the couch in the living room. “First days suck, but come here, you need to see this,” she added and stretched her hand towards the entrance door to encourage Arizona to come further into the living room.

Arizona couldn’t imagine what was so exciting about their living room, but the closer she got to the couch the better she heard the joyful sounds of kids’ play, and when she finally came in front of the couch, she saw what was hiding behind.

Sofia had a semi-sitting Tamara between her legs. Sofia’s arm was protectively wrapped around Tamara’s mid-section, and her other hand was holding a fluffy doll in front of Tamara’s face. Tamara was absolutely delighted.

She kept trying to reach the doll but every time she almost touched it, Sofia would raise it further above her head, which made the baby giggle.

“Oh my god,” Arizona said and flopped on the couch next to Callie who immediately scooted closer and put her arm around Arizona’s shoulders.

“Have you ever seen anything cuter?” Callie asked.

Just as the question left Callie’s lips, Sofia grabbed a huge panda bear doll, designed to be lying down, and laid Tamara on it in a similar fashion.

“I think I just did,” Arizona answered.

Sofia made sure to support her sister who was happily lying on her stomach, cuddling into the fluffiness that was the doll.

“Does this count as tummy time?” Callie asked in hope.

Tamara giggled as Sofia rubbed her back.

“She’s actually enjoying herself, so I say it does,” Arizona stated.

Tummy time was meant to help babies strengthen their upper bodies so they could crawl, roll over, push themselves up, and eventually stand. Many babies hate the notion of lying with their faces down. Unfortunately, Tamara was one of those babies.

“Does it actually help, though?” Callie asked her baby expert girlfriend.

“I doubt it. I mean I wish, but this thing is too soft. She needs to push against a hard surface and sadly, I don’t think the panda qualifies.”

“Well, at least it’s adorable, so it’s not a total loss” Callie said. Arizona nodded and took her phone out to snap pictures. Seeing Sofia enjoying playing with Tamara like that warmed her heart.

Sofia has been happy and curious about Tamara since day one. The relatively big gap between their ages was potentially going to prevent many conflicts in the future. But Sofia, not a young girl anymore, had more understanding of consequences. Unlike a child with no cares and worries, Sofia was afraid to do something wrong when it came to Tamara. It saddened the women but it also made them happy as they realized Sofia’s caution was due to her instinctual love for Tamara.

As time went by, Sofia became more and more at ease around the younger sister whom she adored. Callie and Arizona made sure to include her, and show her. Family naps helped a lot because that way they could all share intimate space together and Sofia could see that she could be physically close to Tamara without harming her. They taught her how to hold Tamara and after two and a half months she finally agreed to try. Ever since then, she wouldn’t let go. When she had the chance, she would even ask for the bottle so she could feed Tamara.

“Sisterly love, or an obsession with a new shiny living and breathing doll?” Callie asked one day when they were watching Sofia feeding Tamara.

“I really hope it’s the first one, because dolls you get bored with,” Arizona said.

“Well, luckily this is the kind of doll that learns new tricks all the time.”

But it was clear that it wasn’t just a game for Sofia. The nine year old had the same expressive eyes as her biological mother. The truth of her feelings was evident in them and after a while the women had no doubt that Sofia truly loved and cared for her younger sister, and took the role of Tamara’s protector very seriously.

“Look at them,” Callie said, “they’re totally ours, can you believe that?”

“Can I believe that two awesome people created two awesome people? Yes. I can. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t blowing my mind on a daily basis, though,” Arizona replied and Callie hummed in approval.

“Are we all good for tomorrow,” Arizona asked and leaned her head back on Callie’s hand while turning to look at her.

“Yeah, I’ll drop Tamara at the hospital’s day care, pick you up, then I’ll drop you off after, pick Tamara up and continue to pick up Sof from school,” Callie explained.

“Your domesticness is a turn on, Calliope. We’ll need to attend to that later,” Arizona flirted. “How was the first day of Callie’s maternal leave 2.0?”

“Horrible, Arizona.”

“Oh no, what happened?”

“It was so great, I don’t know how I’m gonna give it all up **again**!”

“Well, look at it this way - we’ll finally be back at work at the same time. That’s potential for a face to face conversation during daytime right there!”

“Meh.”

“Did you just meh our daytime face to face conversation?” Arizona challenged.

“I like my baby more. I’m sorry,” Callie said in a tone that exhibited no remorse what so ever.

“The baby will be at the hospital, Callie. Potential for daytime face to face conversations **and** baby visitations. Maybe even together! Oh, and lunch!”

“Cafeteria lunch,” Callie stated, unimpressed.

“You know what? That’s it. You’re on a vacation. I just went back to work yet I’m doing all the comforting and you’re doing all the whining. I demand a role reversal **right now**.”

“Oh, Arizona, look at us bickering. Just in time for therapy,” Callie teased.

“Well, that’s something we can agree on,” Arizona said and turned her face to kiss Callie’s arm right on the point where she just leaned on.

* * *

“So, ladies I haven’t seen you in a while,” Doctor Dawson said.

“Yeah, things got all sort of hectic,” Arizona explained.

“You guys had the baby.”

“Yeah, about three and a half months ago,” Callie said happily. “Tamara. She’s perfect.”

“I’m glad to hear that, congratulations. I’m sure you’ve got your hands full.”

“We do, but it was also a bit of a bubble for all of us,” Arizona said, “a much needed family time.”

“So things at home are good?”

“Other than us being back at work, well, sort of back at work, things are great,” Callie confirmed.

“And specifically between the two of you?”

“We did surprisingly well, I think. Considering we haven’t been here in a while,” Callie said.

“Why are you surprised? The whole point of the treatment is that we find tools and you integrate them so you’re not always hanging by a thread,” the Doctor explained.

“I don’t think we’ve been feeling like we’re hanging by a thread in a very long time,” Arizona said and turned to Callie for confirmation. The other woman nodded and smiled.

“Okay, good. Then we absolutely made progress. I think we learned that even before your little… hiatus from therapy, but checking in a few months later and seeing that things are solid is yet another good sign of successful therapy,” Doctor Dawson explained and the women smiled.

“So why did you decide to come back now of all times?” she asked.

“We’re trying to get back into our routine, and this is something that is important to both of us and that we want to be part of that routine,” Arizona explained.

“I think we learned over the years that maintenance is incredibly important. Coming here in itself might be one of those tools you mentioned. You know, for said maintenance,” Callie added.

“Right,” the Doctor said and examined them quietly for a moment.

“What?” Callie asked, feeling uncomfortable under the scrutinizing, somewhat doubtful stare.

“Why don’t you give me a little summery of what you’ve been up to since the last time you’ve been here.”

“Well,” Arizona started, “we had a baby.”

“And lots of sex,” Callie said. “But also a lot of talking!” she added when she saw the way the Doctor was looking at her.

“Good, on **all** fronts,” Doctor Dawson said and smiled. “I’m guessing, anyways. Good talks?”

“Yes, **and** good sex,” Arizona replied happily.

“You find the time? With a newborn?”

“We try to,” Callie explained, “some weeks are harder, but, I mean, it’s almost like a new relationship. We want to, all the time.”

“But we’re also absolutely fine with just having a quiet night with the girls,” Arizona added what they were both thinking.

“You said it shouldn’t be about escapism, and it isn’t,” Callie started, “we used to do it instead of talking, to avoid things some times. I mean, it was always enjoyable but sadly we sometimes used it as something else, and now…”

“Now we need to plan carefully so we can do it just for fun,” Arizona chuckled. “An effort has to be made, so we can enjoy ourselves that way, and when we do, it’s all about the enjoyment, and not about anything else.”

“So long talks, the healthy kind of sex, family time, what else?” Doctor Dawson asked.

“Hmm… oh! We started a new research together!” Callie said excitedly. “Well, sort of. We started the foundation of starting a research together. Ha, everything we do these days is sort of.”

“And how did that research come to be?”

“Callie felt inspired,” Arizona stated.

“She did?”

“Oh, yes. And more accurately, she said **I** make her feel inspired.”

“You do,” Callie confirmed.

“And since Callie makes me feel inspired too, and also since this is just a cause for us to both spend more time together **and** be innovative, I was all for it,” Arizona continued.

“Do you guys have the time?”

“We are our own bosses, well... you know, sort off,” Arizona chuckled. “And there’s no time stamp on it,” she explained smiling at Callie, who smiled in return, hearing Arizona using her own words, and knowing that once again, there were on the same page.

“Well, sounds like you guys are doing very well indeed. Anything else worth mentioning? Was there anything you didn’t agree on?” The Doctor inquired.

“Well, our parents came to visit six weeks ago,” Arizona mentioned cautiously.

“That’s hardly interesting or worth mentioning, Arizona,” Callie said confused.

“Hmmm…”

“What is it, Arizona?” the Doctor asked.

“So they came over. They weren’t there for the birth. Actually we hadn’t told them until very late in the pregnancy,” Arizona explained.

“Why not?”

“Because we feared that they wouldn’t approve of the way we did everything, and that they’d be worried about us getting back together,” Arizona continued.

“Is that it?” Callie asked. “Did you want to tell them earlier and you didn’t for my sake? Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Why didn’t you say anything? You could’ve had your mother by your side during the birth!”

Arizona snorted. “Heck no. You’re the only person I wanted by my side during that birth, trust me. And don’t you dare go thinking that I didn’t tell them for your sake. We both had our reasons. I know you’d never prevent me from having them around during the pregnancy. It’s a choice we made together.”

“Then… what is it?” Callie asked, confused yet attentive.

“Well, I guess I’m just worried about your mother.”

“My mother?”

“What about Callie’s mother?” the Doctor asked.

Arizona looked at Callie cautiously.

“Go ahead,” Callie said softly and put her hand on Arizona’s back. She had a feeling she knew where this was going.

“Callie’s mom, well, in a lack of a better word, disowned her when she came out.”

“Oh,” Doctor Dawson said.

“Yep!” Callie feigned a cheer.

“To be fair,” Arizona added, “Callie’s mom is on the more religious side.”

“So is daddy and he came around, thanks to you,” Callie said, looking at Arizona. “My mom, however, wouldn’t recognize Sofia as her grandchild, nor did she come to our wedding. I don’t want her anywhere near Tamara.”

“But she tried to make amends, Callie,” Arizona claimed.

“Yeah, she waited until Arizona and I broke up to come and see if I was over my phase,” Callie said to the Doctor bitterly. “I explained to her that just because I wasn’t with Arizona didn’t make me a non-sinner all of a sudden, then, lo and behold, Arizona and I got back together.”

“I see,” the Doctor said.

“Arizona, we already talked about this,” Callie said then turned to the Doctor, “I explained to Arizona that I didn’t want my mom back in my life just so she could bolt again the moment I’d start dating a woman. I don’t want to experience losing my mom twice. It was hard enough the first time, but I came to terms with it.”

“Calliope, I know we talked about it already. But things change. It’s been six weeks. Tamara grows more and more every day. Your mom missed this stage with Sofia. Maybe she’d like the chance? I mean, maybe **you’d** like the chance to share it with her and I don’t want to be in your way.”

“Arizona, you’re the furthest thing from being in my way. If anything, you’re by my side. She didn’t approve of Sofia, do you really think she’d approve of me raising a baby that isn’t even biologically mine? **And** with another woman?”

“Are you sure it’s not just me who’s the problem? Maybe she just doesn’t like me?” Arizona asked vulnerably.

“Only a crazy person won’t like you, Arizona,” Callie said and took Arizona’s hand, “she never even tried to get to know you. This isn’t your fault, nor are you affecting my choice.”

“I just don’t want you to miss out on anything. I want you to have everything,” Arizona admitted quietly.

“Are you kidding me?! I have the girls, and I have work, and god, I have you. How can you possibly think I don’t have everything? I have the whole world, don’t you see that?”

“You are such a poet,” Arizona teased, but she felt incredibly emotional, And Callie knew that.

“Arizona, if something ever shifts, I have a pretty decent spy at the Torres household. Daddy will let me know, and she’ll come to us. But until that day, if it ever comes, I’m gonna enjoy my life. I’m not gonna hold my breath, and I’m not gonna regret anything. I’ve been so darn happy in these past few months, do you believe me?”

“You know it,” Arizona said and chuckled even though she started to tear. They haven’t used **that** specific tool in a while.

“Great,” Callie said and turned her head forward, “can we not talk about her anymore? It’s annoying enough that daddy used that visit to mention that Tamara is a second child out of wedlock.”

Arizona looked surprised and somewhat intrigued. Callie, who wasn’t looking at her directly, didn’t notice, but Doctor Dawson did, and she knew this wasn’t the last she’d hear about this during sessions.

“Okay,” Arizona finally said. “We don’t need to talk about her anymore.”

“Thank you,” Callie said and sighed in relief.

“Good, girls. I like what we’ve discussed today,” the Doctor said as their time was up. “I see that you weren’t kidding. The talk is indeed good.”

* * *

 **A/N:** I love happy endings, but I don’t love it when they are forced. I think this is the last we’ll hear about Callie’s mom in this story. This story was never about everything being perfect, it was about how Callie and Arizona developed apart and together, how they got to the point of strong mutual trust that led them to the starting point of this story. I think that Callie’s mom has ways to go still, if we’re being realistic as to how people work, so we won’t explore it more, but I very much wanted to show just how much Arizona cares about not being an obstacle in Callie’s life, but a source of support, and how Callie doesn’t feel like she’s making compromises by choosing the things she chose.

[The fluffy doll](https://img0.etsystatic.com/001/0/5209660/il_570xN.401255376_4byn.jpg).

[The panda bear doll.](http://www.largestuffedbears.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Aurora-Plush-Super-Flopsie-Huge-Stuffed-Panda-Bear.jpg)


	28. Chapter 28

It took them a while to get back to a 100% regular routine (or as regular as could be) of two working moms, but when they finally did, the days of staying at home seemed long gone. So is the way of routines.

Some nights, Arizona got home late, and some nights, Callie did. When they could, they’d leave the hospital together, and have a nice family night at home.

Work seemed to never end for both women. Callie had research and cases, Arizona had two departments to lead, cases, and her research with Callie. Four and a half months after Tamara was born, and time was still too tight for them to invest in their research. Every now and then, though, they had a conversation. They laid down steps. They knew that they were headed somewhere, somewhere groundbreaking, eventually.  Even if it was going to take forever, for now they just enjoyed that they got the opportunity to do it together.

They knew that not extremely long down the road, things would get easier. In a couple of years time, Sofia would be able to watch over Tamara herself (at nearly ten, she was already arguing that she could), the workload would ease on both of them, the baby wouldn’t require a 24/7 guarding.

Until then, things were hectic at all times, but very satisfying. When they could, they’d bring their work home with them so they could still share the space while working. They were busy. But that didn’t mean they had to give up on intimacy. Callie would read medical magazines in bed, with the light from the lamp on the night stand on, while Arizona breastfed on her semi darkened side of the bed. Arizona would sit on one of the two rocking chairs in the nursery and fill forms, while Callie, seated on the other chair fed Tamara from a bottle.

They could always put their work stuff away, and just watch each other in awe, taking turns with their daughter.

It was their very specific kind of bliss and they cherished every second of it.

“You’re gonna ruin your eyes,” Callie whispered softly.

“You always say that. There’s enough light, Calliope.”

It was the middle of the night. Arizona came back from work not an hour earlier. She took a shower and got ready to join her sleeping girlfriend in bed, but when not a moment later, Callie bolted to the nursery, hearing Tamara crying through the monitor, Arizona decided to join her and get some work done. She was already on a roll anyways, her mind still in work mode.

She sat in the rocking chair, just under the night light, which shed soft light on her papers. It was just enough for her to manage to read.

“Mama is gonna go blind,” Callie told Tamara in her baby voice. “She is silly, little one. Yes she is! She’s gonna go blind, and need glasses. It’ll be a very sexy librarian look on her, Tam Tam, and there’s a chance I’ll have to address, well, undress that situation, but on the downside, she won’t be able to cut,” Callie added, still addressing the baby. “And then, when she’s mad with longing for her ten blade, she will throw all of us out of the window in an act of madness! Yes she will!” Callie cooed.”Yes. She. Will!”

“What are you teaching that baby, Calliope?” Arizona asked, half amazed, half annoyed, but mostly, considering buying a pair of fake glasses.

“Just letting her know that she should be careful around windows,” Callie teased. Arizona smiled at her and each woman went back to her own task.

After a few moments, Arizona raised her head to look at Callie. The room was dark beside the night light, but the moon bathed Callie’s face in light. Arizona thought that she looked breathtaking.

She put her papers down on the floor, and stared at the love of her life, who seemed so peaceful and content, feeding their daughter. The whole scene made Arizona’s heart flutter.

 “We should get married. Like, married for real,” she finally said, breaking the silence, surprised at her own words, but definitely not regretting them.

“What?!” Callie was shocked, caught completely off guard. She dropped the bottle and managed to catch it just before it hit the floor. That would mean sterilizing it again.

“We totally should!" Arizona said, now completely excited. She jumped off the chair. She realized she wanted to say these words for months.

 “Arizona Robbins, you have a history of the most romantic proposals ever,” Callie mocked.  Should I be worried that a wrecking ball will come through this wall any second now?”

“I’m serious, Callie,” Arizona said, eyes sparkling as she placed the other chair next to Callie and sat beside her.

“Arizona…”

“What? Think about it, why not? You said years ago that you don’t want to try and fix us anymore, and I understand that about then, but... don’t you want to try now?” Arizona asked, hope in her eyes.

“Arizona, I don’t want us to have to feel like we need to fix anything. Kinda beats the purpose of a new beginning,” Callie said cautiously.

“Well, it’s a good thing then that I don’t feel like we need fixing. Just… healthy maintenance. Your words, I believe.”

“Arizona, come on…”

“What, Callie? What is it? What? You can’t see yourself with me forever? Because, really, I have loved you forever, I just forgot, for a time.”

“Arizona, come on, of course I can see myself with you forever. No, that’s not the right way to put it. It sounds hypothetical. I **know** I will be with you forever. I keep tying myself to you in more and more ways, technically, emotionally, I’m never going away.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Do we have to talk about this when I’m feeding the baby?” Callie asked. She was in a bit of a distress and she could tell Tamara was sensing it. The infant started to wiggle restlessly.

“Are you using our four and a half months old daughter to distract me from the fact that you don’t wanna marry me?” Arizona asked.

Tamara finally finished the bottle and Callie got up to lay her in her crib, waiting to see if she would go back to sleep.

“Really, Callie? You never answer straight away when I ask you this question! It hurts a girl’s ego, you know.”

Callie turned to look at her, the anger in her eyes made Arizona gulp. She took Arizona’s hand, dragged her across the hallway and into their room. She then shut the door and finally looked at Arizona again.

“I never answer straight away, Arizona? Seriously?! Because if memory serves right, the first time I never got the chance to answer straight away due to, you know, the whole car crashing and the nearly dying thing, and right now there was a semi-sleeping baby in the room! What’s with the accusations?”

Arizona stared at the floor, ashamed.

“I admit I may have over reacted,” she said quietly, still not looking at Callie.

“May have? What’s going on? Because this isn’t even something we discussed. I didn’t think it was something you wanted.”

“Does that mean you don’t want to?” Arizona asked, now searching Callie’s face.

Callie said nothing.

“Oh, I get it,” Arizona said, disappointed evident on her face.

“What? What do you get?” Callie said, getting irritated and very doubtful towards any understanding Arizona might think she just learned.

“A girlfriend you can leave if things don’t work out, a marriage…”

“No, Arizona! It’s not that! You know it’s not true! I just told you I know I will be with you forever and the fact that you can even think otherwise just shows me that this is risky. We already ended a marriage when things didn’t work out.”

“Yeah and it’s not something you want to go through again,” Arizona stated, hurt.

“Of course not! And neither do you! But that’s not what this is about! Do you believe me?”

“Yes,” Arizona replied immediately. Rules.  “But then what is it? Why won’t you take that leap? Are you scared?”

“It’s just hasn’t been that long, Arizona. It’s only been like 9 months.”

“It’s been ten **years** , Callie.”

Callie said nothing, she needed time to process.

“You said you didn’t want our past to be present,” Callie finally whispered. “Remember?”

When Callie asked her that so softly, she realized that Callie **was** scared. Arizona couldn’t fault her for that. It wasn’t about them, not exactly. It was Callie being scared of herself and of her feeling that she might ruin things. It was Callie needing more time to see with certainty that they are where they need to be in order to never hurt each other again, in order for Callie to try something that she already tried twice before and failed at. Arizona was one of these two times. It wasn’t that Callie didn’t want to go through potential suffering with Arizona, specifically. It’s that she didn’t want to fail for the third time.

“You know what,” Arizona said without a trace of anger, “you are right. I’m taking it back. My proposal I mean.”

“What?! You can’t take it back! We’re not taking things back. Rules!” Callie demanded. She didn’t know why she was arguing. She just told Arizona it was too fast, and yet, when the opportunity was slipping through her fingers, she felt like she had lost something incredibly important.

“I can, and I am. For now. I love you,” Arizona said, kissed Callie softly on the lips, smiled at her as to show her that everything was fine between them, and left the room.

“Wait, where are you going? You’re not sleeping on the couch tonight, are you?” Callie asked in concern, but got no reply.

Callie saw all the hurt and doubt fade away from Arizona’s eyes when she said her pre-departing words. It left Callie confused and jealous. Arizona’s doubts where somehow gone even though she didn’t get the answer she was hoping Callie would give her, yet Callie’s doubts just started to emerge.

Question whirled around her brain and made her dizzy.

_Why does Arizona even want to get married? We tried this before and failed._

_Why does she wanna get married **now**? What made tonight the right time to ask me?_

_How come she’s not angry? All of the hurt just washed off of her._

_Will we talk about this some more?_

_Will she ask me again or did I just lose this chance forever?_

_Is she coming back tonight?_

Callie lied down in bed, trying to not think. The thing that bothered her the most was the thought that Arizona might be spending the night away from her, but just when she was finally on the edge of sleep, depressed but accepting of her fate, she felt a soft, glorious body wrap around her from behind, and a quiet, tender voice spoke in her ear.

“Good night, beautiful, I love you so much.”


	29. Chapter 29

“Callie, you already look like you have something to say,” Doctor Dawson said to the fidgety woman. Callie and Arizona were in a good place which usually meant the therapist had to bring up points of discussion at the beginning of almost every session. It was a good thing. Today, however, she could see something was on Callie’s mind.

“Two weeks and she acts like everything is the same,” Callie blurted out, irritation evident in her voice. It didn’t stop Arizona from rolling her eyes.

“It **is** the same,” Arizona argued.

“How can you say that?!” Callie demanded, then turned to the doctor. “She won’t talk to me about this at home, but she can’t ignore this here. Rules,” Callie reminded and Arizona sighed.

“What exactly are we talking about here?” the Doctor asked. The couple didn’t come every single week anymore with so many things on their plate, so she had no idea what Callie was referring to. Today wasn’t even their regular time.

“She asked me to marry her, and then she took her proposal back,” Callie spat.

“ **Temporarily** , Callie,” Arizona said and turned to the Doctor, “I took it back temporarily,” she explained.

“But why would you do that?!” Callie asked in frustration.

“Because you weren’t ready for me to ask you that, which is okay,” Arizona responded calmly.

“Oh, and you were ready to ask?”

“Hmm… yeah, hence the asking. What’s the big deal? You didn’t want to anyways,” Arizona said in confusion. She wasn’t the tiny bit upset. When she proposed to Callie, she hoped to hear a yes, but it really hit her when Callie didn’t respond, that still, Callie wasn’t going anywhere. They had time.

After the crash, she used to be afraid of time, knowing that anything can happen, so at some point in her life, she refused to wait before taking a leap. But she wasn’t the same, she didn’t feel the need to chase after things anymore, and she didn’t mind waiting for this, because even if something bad happened, Callie would be there, she knew without a doubt.

“Well, maybe, but I’d appreciate the option of at least considering it. Isn’t that the point of a question? Someone asks you something and you get to consider?” Callie asked.

“And you’ll get to consider again, later on. I promise. I want to marry you or I wouldn’t have asked.”

 “But how are you not terrified?” Callie asked quietly.

Doctor Dawson was happy with what she was hearing. She was happy that Arizona felt like marriage with Callie was something she wanted again, she was happy Callie didn’t flat out say no, and she was happy at the honesty present in the room. There was fear, yes, but it wasn’t the kind of heartbreaking fear that made you hang on to something with all your might. It was the fear of not doing things right. Not the fear of saving something that was vanishing, but the fear of embarking on a new adventure.

“I’m not terrified because I want to be with you forever,” Arizona stated.

“Okay, then why not just decide that we’ll be together forever? Why do something that failed before?”

“Therapy also failed before, Calliope. **We** failed before. Yet here we are, in therapy, I personally think it’s going well, and we also have a beautiful family.”

“Isn’t that enough?” Callie pleaded.

“Nope. I wanna get to call you my wife again. It’s not just about making you mine, it’s about giving myself to you completely,” Arizona explained softly and took Callie’s hand in hers.

“But I already feel like we belong to one another completely,” Callie said without missing a beat.

“See? That’s what I mean. I feel ready, you don’t. We feel the same way about each other and our future, but we treat it differently. It’s okay, Calliope. I think that you feel like you’ve already been married to two different people and it didn’t work out with either of them. But I was only married to one person, **the** person, and I want a second chance to do things right this time around with that person. I want everything with you, don’t you know that? And for everything, I’m willing to wait until you’ll be ready.”

“Why are you not mad?” Callie asked in concern.

“Because I love you, and I know you are not going anywhere, and I know that when I go to bed tonight you’ll be there, and when I wake up tomorrow morning, you’ll be there, too.”

“Always.”

“I know. And **that’s** why I wanna marry you. Do you believe me?” Arizona asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

“Yes. But then where does that leave us?”

“Wait and see,” Arizona winked and made Callie groan.

Doctor Dawson smiled at them in amusement. Every now and then, they made her job extremely easy.

* * *

They walked into the parking lot hand in hand. Callie felt better about things, mostly, but she was still somewhat lost in thoughts. For her part, Arizona was lost in Callie, trying to read the expression on her lover’s face, hoping that she really managed to sooth her fears.

This is why they didn’t notice a third woman coming towards them, lost in her own world as well, until it was too late and they all ended sprawled on the ground after an unavoidable bumping accident.

“I am so **so** sorry!” Callie said, trying to get herself up. “This is all my fault,” she added, gave a hand to Arizona and finally, to the other woman.

“Many things are your fault,” the woman said and looked up at Callie who was suddenly speechless, “this is not one of them.”

“Maureen?” Callie asked in confusion. Arizona looked at Callie with an unreadable expression on her face.

“The one and only,” Maureen said and finally took Callie’s offered hand. “Thank you,” she said, stood up, and won a glare from Arizona that luckily she didn’t notice.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t notice where I was going,” Callie said.

“Neither did I,” Maureen said softly and they all stood in a stalemate.

“I’m guessing you are Arizona,” Maureen said matter-of-factly, “the actual one and only.”

“Maureen…” Callie pleaded.

“I’m Maureen, clearly,” she introduced herself, “did Callie ever mention me at all?”

“Of course she did,” Arizona hurried to clarify. She wasn’t sure what else to say. “She really liked you,” Arizona added and regretted it straight away even though she was just trying to be kind.

“Yeah, just not enough,” Maureen stated, her voice sounded void of emotion.

“Maureen, please, this isn’t Arizona’s fault,” Callie explained.

‘It kinda is,’ Arizona thought, and Callie turned to look at her so intently that she suspected the other woman could read her thoughts.

“Who’s fault is it, then?” Maureen asked.

“The universe’s?” Callie offered.

“Callie, what are we? 2?”

“Maureen, I lived with Arizona for months and not once did she try to pursue anything.  On the contrary, she tried to give me as much freedom as possible and encouraged me to see you!”

“So what happened?” Maureen asked, finally letting her hurt show.

“The universe,” Callie stated, now seriously.

“Callie, come on.”

“I mean it, Maureen. We didn’t plan it, heck, we’re here nearly a year later, leaving therapy and still trying to figure stuff out. Yet, this was supposed to happen,” Callie said whole heartedly.

“But you guys are together, aren’t you?”

“We are,” Arizona confirmed softly.

“Is this why you and I never… you know,” Maureen asked Callie.

“I don’t think that’s why, Maureen. I think there were reasons, and maybe some weird subconscious mechanisms, but honestly, and without trying to be mean, I’m glad we didn’t. It would have made everything harder on both of us,” Callie admitted.

“Maybe,” Maureen nodded.

“I really did care about you, and I think you are great,” Callie said and she could feel Arizona’s hand squeezing hers tighter. Arizona didn’t **really** mind Callie saying those things, Callie knew, yet instinct was instinct and Callie knew that too.

“I believe you,” Maureen said and Callie could hear Arizona’s barely audible gasp. Declarations of belief was **their** thing, **their** pact. Callie wanted to clear the air with Maureen, but not making the love of her life miserable mattered to her more. She needed to get them out of there.

“What are you even doing here?” she asked casually, hoping small talk will divert them from the heavy subjects and soon after into the goodbyes.

“Same thing you guys do,” Maureen admitted and pointed at the entrance to the therapist’s office.

“Oh no, I didn’t made you go to therapy, did I?” Callie asked in horror.

“Not everything is about you, Callie,” Maureen said and started leaving.

“But are you okay?” Callie asked in genuine concern.

“Just because you’re in therapy doesn’t mean you’re not together and in love, and just because I’m in therapy doesn’t mean I’m falling apart. Have a nice day,” Maureen said.

“Take care now,” Callie replied, got a glare from Maureen and cringed.

* * *

They walked the rest of the way in silence, but when they sat in the safe confines of their car, Arizona finally spoke up.

“So that was awkward!” she said in fake cheer. “Now I’m kinda happy you didn’t have an engagement ring on your finger.”

“It was more awkward to me than to you,” Callie said bitterly.

“I don’t think so, Calliope. I’m the other woman, remember?”

“Arizona, you were never the other woman. For there to be another woman, one needs to know another woman is interested and act upon said interest.”

“And then you did know, and then you acted on it, and then I was the other woman,” Arizona argued.

“Hmm, no. Then I knew, and then for a moment there you were another woman. Not the other woman, but another woman, and then that moment passed oh so fast, and you were **the** woman. Maureen was never the woman at any point in time.”

“Do you feel guilty?” Arizona asked cautiously. She was touched by Callie’s words, but she knew her girlfriend always took it to heart when she hurt people, and Arizona didn’t want Callie to carry this alone.

“I feel guilty about how it ended,” Callie explained. “I never tried to deceive her. When I didn’t know you and I were an option I really didn’t think about it. Maureen and I had a lot of fun. I was always very honest with her about the situation, and that means I was honest at the end, too. When I finally realized what was happening I told her straight away. I mean we were seeing each other for a few months, but you know that if I saw her more than every other week it was a miracle.”

“I think Tamara was subconsciously vagina blocking you,” Arizona joked.

“Look, I didn’t know if I wanted something serious in all the craziness that was our lives back then, and Maureen and I really liked each other but I think she, too, tried to figure out at one point just how deep she wanted to get into the madness. A few weeks later she made a decision one way, I made a decision another way, that’s all.”

“So guilt about hurting her but no guilt about the process?” Arizona asked.

“Something like that.”

“I’m sorry. Maybe if I told you sooner…”

“Neither of us would have been ready. It was a slow burn. We needed that time, Arizona. The time without the added weight. Time to act towards each other a certain way based on instinct and not because a label, an obligation guided our choices. Do I make sense?”

“Yes. And so next time when I ask you to marry me, you’ll say yes. Not because a label of our relationship is guiding you, but because it’ll be your instinct to say yes,” Arizona reassured. She knew what Callie meant, and she wanted Callie to understand that fully.

“Okay,” Callie finally said. “Everything **is** the same, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Callie. We live together, we’re gonna be stuck with each other forever, we’re raising two beautiful daughters, and today, when an ex took your hand, I still wanted to hit her with a brick even though she really didn’t do anything wrong. Everything is the same.”

“Same, but getting better and better every day.”

“You know it.”

* * *

 **A/N** : Hey guys, I want to take a second, since Maureen appeared in this chapter and clarify something that is very important to me. Callie is bisexual. The last person she dated before she got back with Arizona happened to be a woman, but you can be sure that in her 4 years apart from Arizona she dated men. Not right away, this thing is still as canon-y as possible, but when she finally started dating again, there were men as well. Furthermore, Arizona knew about it, because she knew about Callie’s life, especially during the two years in which they became friends again. I’ve seen a lot of anti-Callie content as it being discussed that she might date a man on the show, and while, really, I don’t want her with anyone but Arizona, she’s bisexual, and it’s not farfetched that there will be men. So in terms of this story, I want to put out there that Callie probably dated men along the way, just like Maureen wasn’t the only woman.  It didn’t stop Callie from getting back to her one person at the end. And I’m not saying that she was slutting around, and I’m not even saying she had a lot of other relationships, I am, however, saying that when it comes to dates, she went on them with both genders. And this note isn’t meant to spite anyone, it’s just true to whom Callie is, and it’s a part of why I love her. 


	30. Chapter 30

She had no idea how long she’s been staring at the wall, blocking the outside world. She was finally pulled out of her pondering when an eraser hit her straight in the forehead.

“Ouch,” she murmured.

“Bullseye!” announced the smug voice of the other woman in the room.

“What did you do that for?!” Callie asked angrily and rubbed the hurting spot. She had no doubt it was going to swell and possibly turn blue. This was not good for presentation.

“Hmm, because I’ve been talking to you for the past fifteen minutes and you didn’t even nod politely?” Addison offered. “I mean, there wasn’t even the pretense of listening, just complete ignorance.”

“I’m sorry, just a bit preoccupied,”’ Callie said genuinely.

“You haven’t seen me since this baby of yours was born and when I’m finally in town again nearly six months later you don’t even listen to me. Is that what our friendship had become, Callie? It hurts, you know,” the woman said in feigned sadness.

“I’m sorry, you are right,” Callie admitted and sighed.

“What’s going on with you?” Addison asked in concern. “You love giving commentary about my love life. Do you know how many openings I gave you in the last fifteen minutes? This is really not like you.”

“Arizona asked me to marry her,” Callie blurted.

“Oh, right!  Sometimes I forget that you guys aren’t already married. What with the house and kids and coupleness,” Addison said, excitement for her friend evident on her face.

“I know! That’s what I told her!” Callie whined. “We are already practically married, then why should we actually do it again?”

“Wait, **that’s** what you told her?” Addison asked in shock.

“Well, sort of,” Callie admitted quietly.

“Hmm, correct me if I’m wrong, but as far as I know the customary reply is usually a ‘yes.’ Unless… wait, you didn’t say no, did you?

“I sort of… didn’t say anything?”

“Callie!”

“What?!”

“What is wrong with you?! This woman is the love of your life! She asked you to marry her and you said no?!” Addison barked.

“She asked me to marry her, I didn’t say yes **or** no, and then she took it back and I couldn’t really say anything at all!” Callie defended.

“Why don’t you want to marry her?” Addison demanded.

“Don’t be an idiot, Addison, of course I wanna marry her. Eventually.”

“Then why didn’t you just say yes?!”

“Hmm… have you been listening?” Callie asked and Addison gave her a glare for the irony in the question. “She took her proposal back!”

“Then you propose to her. What’s the big deal?”

“I…” Callie started but wasn’t sure what to say.

“Ha! You don’t have one valid reason as to why!” Addison stated.

“I have a million reasons!” Callie said.

“Do they all start positive but end with ‘but I’m scared?’ Because life is always scary, you know,” Addison said softly.

“And we’ve already been through so much together,” Callie added.

“Exactly.”

“I’m not saying this as a good thing, Addison.”

“Callie, every possible reason you have right now, was something you should’ve considered before you ever gotten back together. You already thought this trough then. You already did your pros and cons, and history versus present and future and decided to go for it,” Addison noted.

“I know,” Callie admitted.

“Then what is it? Unless you would like to keep an opening in case something…”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Callie ordered. “I’m not leaving her ever again. I’m not leaving **them**.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Addison asked in confusion.

“I just don’t wanna let her down again,” Callie said. “I don’t have the best record when it comes to marriages.”

“I know the feeling,” Addison said and put her hand on her friend’s shoulder for comfort. “But I’m also really happy I got a do over. A **good** do over. And you? You’re not gonna let her down and you know that.”

“Why are you even here?” Callie finally asked.

“I’ll approve of this one time only subject change and answer your question. I’m here for a consult.”

“Why would someone call you to Seattle for a consult when they can have Arizona?” Callie asked without missing a beat.

“Wow, ouch, Cal.”

“I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Yeah you did. It’s okay, you think she farts rainbows. I understand,” Addison reassured.

“Addison, don’t be ridiculous. I’ve known her and lived with her long enough to know that she definitely does not fart rainbows. She farts double rainbows,” Callie concluded.

“No, please, continue. I love it when you tell me every tiny detail,” Addison stated.

“Addison, relax, when it comes to babies I think you fart rainbows too.”

“Well, thanks. I think. Anyways the consult is for a friend here in Seattle, I referred her to Arizona, actually, but she’s been stubborn. She wanted someone who’s also an OBG/YN. And she said she’d cover the flights. Personally, I can’t see why anyone would do it, it’s insane, but…”

“Fine, I get it. You don’t have to keep mocking me, You’re ridiculously good, and we all throw our money at you so you’ll fly over,” Callie said. “What do I care? I love it when you are here.”

Addison smiled.

“I actually need to head out,” she explained and started to pick up her things.

“Okay,” Callie said.

Addison hugged her.

“Put a ring on it, Cal. Because you definitely like it.” She squeezed her friend’s arm one last time and left Callie alone in the room to stare at the wall again.

Callie knew she didn’t mind marrying Arizona, but not minding wasn’t good enough. She needed to **want** to marry Arizona. She needed to feel safe enough and sure enough of herself in order to take that final step again. To know that she can do it right this time.

Ironically, no one made her feel as safe and as capable of everything like Arizona did. Because Arizona was where Callie belonged.

**

Callie walked into their home, anxious to see Arizona. Between their therapy session two weeks prior, and her talk with Addison earlier that day, her mind was on overload. Callie found that every time she was alone, she felt confused. It was Arizona who made her feel grounded, who brought her jumbled thoughts into order

It made Callie miss her constantly when they weren’t together.

Callie hadn’t seen her all day. Arizona was so busy, she had to skip lunch. Addison was the one who gained from the situation or she wouldn’t even have gotten to see Callie for the little bit that she had. Even so, what Addison got was the confused, longing for Arizona, unable to listen, version of Callie.

Arizona left when Callie just walked into an emergency surgery. But now they were finally both in the same place, at the same time, and Callie couldn’t have been happier.

“Parental emergency meeting!” Arizona announced when she saw her girlfriend at the door.

“And hello to you to, lover,” Callie said mockingly.

“Yes, yes, hello, I love you, I missed you,” Arizona said and quickly pecked her girlfriend’s lips. “We have a problem.”

“We do?”

“It’s a potential problem,” Arizona explained.

“Okay, enlighten me.”

“Tams is six months old in two weeks,” Arizona stated as if it explained everything.

“Yes, I’m aware. I was there when she was born. Why is that a problem?”

“Because it leaves us two weeks to plan the party,” Arizona deadpanned and Callie looked at her expressionless. “You’re judging,” Arizona noted.

“No, no! Not… judging. Hmmm… do we even do a six months birthday for a baby?” Callie asked cautiously.

“ **I** do,” Arizona stated.

“She wouldn’t even know,” Callie tried.

“But **I** would know,” Arizona said. She was so determined, it made Callie smile widely.

“Okay.”

“Yeah?” Arizona asked hopefully.

“Anything you want,” Callie assured. ‘Always,’ she added in a thought.

“But will Sofia mind?” Arizona asked in concern, and it was so sweet that Callie wanted to marry her.

“We can always tell her she had one too, but she doesn’t remember,” Callie joked and put her arm around Arizona’s waist.

“That’s mean,” Arizona said.

“But practical and I kinda want all of us to celebrate together, that way, we can,” Callie explained and leaned in to kiss Arizona tenderly.

“What was that for?” Arizona asked softly once they broke the kiss. She put her hand under Callie’s shirt on the small of her back. Callie felt like her body was on fire and she wanted to marry Arizona.

“It’s because I missed you and it was a damn long day,” Callie explained.

“It sure was,” Arizona agreed and nuzzled her face into Callie neck. “We need to get your car back. I don’t like all those late night cab rides and I’m sure soon enough we’re gonna have our hands full.”

“Okay, but the T-bird goes into the garage. I don’t want any scratches on it.”

“Anything you want,” Arizona said, ‘Always,’ she added in thought.

They still stood by the entrance door, quiet for a few moments, inhaling each other scents.

“So, should we go and find some stranger’s baby with Sofia’s general features and stage a six months birthday party photoshoot so we can show Sof a proof?” Callie asked, breaking the silence.

“You are shameless, Calliope Torres!” Arizona said and slapped Callie’s arm. Their tender moment replaced with a playful one.

“You wouldn’t want me any other way,” Callie said.

“True that,” Arizona admitted with a smile and Callie wanted to marry her. “I think it’s time to let you into the house now,” Arizona added and turned around to walk into the living room.

“Oh thank god!” Callie said and followed her. “I thought I was gonna have to sleep with you for… entering purposes. See what I did there?” she asked and slapped Arizona’s butt.

“Oh, you most certainly have to sleep with me,” Arizona said and flopped on the couch.

“Sof and Tamster?” Callie asked and flopped next to her.

“Yep, both asleep. I fed Tamara thirty minutes ago so I don’t think she’ll be up very soon.”

“That is very promising,” Callie said. She really did miss Arizona.

“I saw her sitting today,” Arizona said and smiled so brightly that Callie wanted to marry her on the spot.

“You did? God why do I keep being the last one to see all the important things?” Callie whined, trying to use her voice to mask her internal forming epiphany.

“You were the first one to see her,” Arizona said lovingly, and though Callie didn’t think Arizona was correct, the warmth in her voice made Callie want to marry her.

“Not true, Arizona. Addison was the first one to see her,” Callie reminded.

“No, Calliope. I mean you were the first one to conjure her in your mind as an idea,” Arizona explained and Callie started to feel tears forming in her eyes.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Arizona said softly, and brought Callie into her own body, letting the other woman put her head on Arizona’s shoulder. “You’re the reason we are here right now, that we have all of this. That we **are** all of this,” Arizona concluded, and Callie wanted to marry her so badly and get to call her her wife again.

It was inevitable, Callie realized. She couldn’t fight the truth for much longer. She also realized she had some planning to do.


	31. Chapter 31

It had been a month. A hard month of not blurting out her plan. Callie just got the go from Owen which truthfully, was the final step. Everything else was already in motion. Of course, she wasn’t going to let Owen know that she didn’t wait for his okay before she made the arrangements for a two week long getaway of two of his lead surgeons/board members.

All she had to do was wait one more month, and take Arizona on a surprise so called “slightly early one year anniversary trip.”

By the time they were to be towards the end of their trip, it’d be a year since Arizona kissed her in that bathroom.

‘At least it was the bathroom of a fancy restaurant this time,’ Callie thought, ‘it means we’re getting classier.’ She smiled at the thought and figured that her plan was also kind of classy.

She couldn’t wait to execute it. ‘This is how it should feel,’ she thought. ‘I’m going to marry her again and I can’t wait. Finally, I can’t freaking wait.’

She was humming cheerfully as she took the turn onto their street and was surprised to see their house completely darkened. She texted Arizona when she left the hospital, and Arizona replied with a “hurry back X”. This made no sense. A surge of panic only a mother and a girlfriend can experience ran through her veins as she broke her own rule, parked her car quickly on the street, and hurried down the path and through her own door.

When she finally walked in, she saw that the house wasn’t completely darkened. The living room was bathed in soft candle light, and Arizona was standing there, wearing a red dress and everything.

“I owe you a rain check from months ago and I’m not gonna fall asleep this time,” Arizona promised.

“Arizona?” Callie asked, a warm feeling spreading in her stomach, “what is all this?”

“Here,” Arizona said and gave Callie the flower she was holding. It was a beautiful white calla lily and Callie realized the whole living room was full of them.

“I wanted to give you a flower that had to do with music, like your name,” Arizona explained, “but did you know that the flower that symbolizes music is oats?”

“Well, that’s not good, nor pretty, nor is it a flower, really” Callie said and smiled, checking Arizona out top to bottom.

“Exactly! So I had no choice but being a cliché and get you a flower that symbolizes beauty, but I couldn’t be **that** much of a cliché so I didn’t want a rose. Not today. So I got you the Calla.”

“In plural, I’d say. What’s today?” Callie asked.

“Come here, sit with me,” Arizona requested and they both sat on the couch. The candle light fell on Arizona’s face perfectly and Callie found her to be breathtaking.

Arizona took Callie’s hands in hers and leaned in to kiss her softly. Callie hummed into the kiss until they finally broke away.

“You make me feel great, again,” Arizona stated.

“What?”

“Remember what you said to me? Years ago? About us not making each other feel great anymore?”

“Oh,” Callie said in sad understanding. She remembered that day very well. She ended them that day.

“You make me feel great again, Calliope. You make me feel amazing,” Arizona said in teary eyes.

“You make me feel amazing, too,” Callie admitted and moved a lock of Arizona’s hair behind her ear.

“I’m falling more and more in love with you every day. I mean, I’m falling in love with you all over again. Do you know how incredible that feels?” Arizona asked.

“I do,” Callie said and felt the tears forming in her eyes as well. She knew where this was headed and while it made her very happy, she also cursed Arizona for her horrible timing.

“You know, when I asked you to marry me a couple of months ago… I mean, we were sitting at the nursery and you were feeding Tam Tam, and I thought ‘god, I never want her to leave’”.

Arizona saw Callie tense at the mention of this dependency, so she put a gentle hand on Callie’s arm and started drawing soothing patterns on it.

“Not like when years ago I told you that life without you terrifies me. It wasn’t like that. I’m not afraid of being without you. I already know that I can manage. I just don’t want to,” Arizona explained quickly. “You were sitting there, and I just knew that I wanted to share everything with you. I wasn’t scared of the thought of you leaving, I was saddened by it. I think that before, when we were together but towards the end, we were happy occasionally, and got most of our happiness somewhere else. But now, I’m mostly happy when I’m with you. I love that I get to come home to you, and god, I never wanna go anywhere that is somewhere else.”

“We are different people now, Arizona,” Callie reminded, she wasn’t objecting anything, but she wanted Arizona to be one hundred percent sure.

“We are,” Arizona agreed with a smile.

“And that’s a good thing,” Callie said, mirroring her girlfriend’s smile, happy that they were on the same page.

“Yes, it is, because we’re also better partners,” Arizona added. “You didn’t want to say yes, because you wanted to have an option of a way out, even if you didn’t realize it.”

“Arizona…”

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t hurt me anymore, and it doesn’t scare me. All that matters to me, is that you don’t feel like you need a way out anymore. I can see it in your eyes every single day.”

“I don’t,” Callie confirmed, “I was probably gonna say yes the first time.”

“And now, you are **definitely** gonna say yes. Now, you’re mine.”

“I think we already established that long ago,” Callie said. Arizona gave her a dazzling smile and leaned in to kiss her with passion. Callie was just about to unzip Arizona’s dress when the other woman broke the kiss off.

“No, not yet. I’m not done, and the girls are with Meredith for tonight so I get to do this right.”

“Oh no…” Callie said.

“Calliope Torres, I know that this isn’t some crazy beach proposal or a Good Year zeppelin proposal or anything…”

“Arizona…” Callie tried desperately to stop the other woman.

“But this is **our** home. Where we were a family even before we got back together. And where we **did** get back together and where our girls spent most of their lives. This place has our essence,” Arizona explained. “I want another memorable moment here and so I really hope that’s enough.”

“It is. It’s more than enough Arizona but…”

“And this time I’m not just blurting it out. I swear. I planned the whole evening, wait ‘till you see what I did with our bedroom. I got flavored body paint.”

“You did?! Wait, no, you can’t…”

“So now,” Arizona said, her nerves making her completely oblivious to Callie’s objections, “will you marry me? Legally and all? By the time we get married Sof and Tam Tam can walk hand in hand as flower girls! Just imagine how adorable!” Arizona said excitedly, missing the mortified look on Callie face. “Oh, wow, getting so ahead of myself and totally messing this up. Wait…” she said and took a ring box out. “I never did the whole getting down on one knee thing with this leg, let me see,” she tried, succeeded, and when she opened the box to show a beautiful engagement ring, Callie groaned. “Once again, Calliope Torres, will you marry me?”

“Nooo! Arizona!” Callie whined.

“Wait, are you actually saying no again? We just had a conversation about this! You are very misleading!”

“What? God, no! I’m saying yes!” Callie clarified quickly.

“I’m confused.”

“I’m saying – yes, Arizona, of course I’m gonna marry you but no, Arizona, why did you have to propose again when **I** was planning an amazing proposal!”

“You were?” Arizona asked, smiling widely.

“Yes!”

“How amazing?”

“Vacation in Spain with the girls kind of amazing.”

“I always wanted to go to Spain,” Arizona said.

“I know,” Callie smiled softly.

“I wanted to go to Spain with you when I didn’t want kids,” Arizona remembered sadly. Callie leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.

“And now we’re all gonna go together,” Callie said. “I cleared our schedules and everything, so thanks a lot for stealing my thunder,” she teased.

“Hmm… I thought I was clear about proposing to you again, what with the word **temporarily** that you like ignoring so much,” Arizona defended. “If anything, I prevented you from stealing my already established thunder.”

“Whatever you say, moron.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Do you really have to ask?”

“I did, actually, twice.”

“How about this, I’m saying yes, tentatively, and then you let me ask you on some beautiful balcony with sangrias in our hands when we get to Spain. Deal?”

“You are so on!” Arizona said, and put the ring on Callie’s finger. It touched her beyond words that Callie remembered her long forgotten dream. Callie was granting her an upgraded version of it. The one that included all three loves of her life.  She pulled Callie in for a kiss again and they both poured every bit of their emotions into that kiss.

“God, I wanna feel you everywhere,” Arizona said but then Callie started laughing. “What?” Arizona asked in confusion.

“No, no, it’s nothing, I’m sorry, we’re having a moment,” Callie said and tried to swallow her laughter.

“What is it, Calliope,” Arizona asked, seeming more amused than upset.

“It’s just… so this is gonna be what? The third talk we need to have with Sofia?” Callie asked and Arizona smiled in realization.

“Hey, Sof,” Arizona played along, “remember how we told you mommy and mama will live in the same house again, but won’t share a bedroom and aren’t as a matter of fact a couple and the whole thing is temporary?” she asked hypothetically.

“And then remember when we told you that mommy and mama aren’t exactly as together as before but are still gonna share a bedroom and mommy might stay a while longer than expected?” Callie continued the thought.

“So now mommy and mama are actually totally back together, for good, so if you could just entirely ignore the last four years and those two previous conversations and not be entirely damaged by it all, that’d be swell!” Arizona finished and they both burst into laughter.

“I really don’t know the meaning of neither temporarily or temporary, do I?” Callie joked. “Maybe we should start with the ‘we’re going to Spain!’ part,” she offered.

“I always liked the way you think, Torres,” Arizona added. “Now, I believe you said something about it being established that you’re mine? Show me.” She said and got up, offering her hand to Callie.

“With pleasure,” Callie said and took the offered hand.

“And body paint,” Arizona added before they disappeared into the bedroom.

* * *

“So we have two research projects, two daughters, one of whom is a newborn, therapy, and actual work. How hard is it gonna be to also plan a wedding?” Callie offered.

“Yay!” was the only thing Arizona could say before they burst into laughter for the umpteenth time that evening.

They lay in bed, naked under the covers, wrapped around each other after hours of sex. They were on the floor at some point, on white sheets Arizona got especially for the artistic occasion. But that was hours and many rounds ago.

“Should we fold these sheets and put them with all of Sofia’s arts and crafts?” Callie teased as she gestured to the floor.

“I thought about it, too. It’s abstract, and very colorful, but still, I’m not entirely sure how we’re going to explain this one.”

They laughed lightly, and Callie leaned in to kiss Arizona.

“Always tell me when something isn’t okay?” she pleaded, looking into her fiancé’s eyes.

“Always. Do you believe me?” Arizona asked.

“You know the answer to that,” Callie said immediately. After all, for them that question meant more than a promise. It was a vow.

“I do, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have to say it.”

“I believe you, and I promise you the same,” Callie said and kissed Arizona again.

"You know we are not in a rush, right?” Arizona asked when they broke the kiss, “with the wedding I mean.”

“Arizona Robbins, just like yourself, I’m not a woman who likes waiting,” Callie flirted.

“Except when it’s a good idea to wait,” Arizona reminded.

“Yes. Is this the case?” Callie asked and Arizona snorted.

“Absolutely not,” she stated.

They smiled at each other quietly, enjoying the intimacy.

“I’m really happy right now,” Arizona said genuinely. She needed Callie to see, to understand.

“Me too,” Callie replied, “oh so happy.”

“Good,” Arizona said, and hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “I want you to be happy enough to dance in your underwear **with** me,” she admitted.

“That’s random, yet you keep bringing it up occasionally,” Callie observed, but smiled.

“Right, yeah, totally random,” Arizona said as seriously as she could.

“It’s something you’ve secretly wanted for a while, isn’t it?” Callie asked in realization.

“Oh, you know, not for a **long** time. Just since you’ve told me about it for the first time. Like… six years ago?”

“Arizona…” Callie said softly.

“I just want you to feel free enough around me to do anything you want, but if it’s too much I unders…”

But before she had a chance to finish the sentence, Callie stopped her with a kiss that took her breath away.

“We’re gonna have an underwear dance party in Spain,“ Callie finally assured. “I promised you that night in the nursery, remember?  I’ll pick something special for the occasion and the girls can join.”

“Not the sexy dance party I was thinking about,” Arizona admitted, “but maybe, in the future?”

“Oh, abso-freaking-lutely,” Callie confirmed.

“When are we going, by the way?” Arizona finally asked.

“In about a month. We’re going for two weeks,” Callie said victoriously.

“But that’s… the date…”

“I know.”

“I love you so ridiculously much,” Arizona said in a near whisper.

“You better.”

“We are getting married.”

“We are.”


	32. Chapter 32 - Epilogue

She was pacing back and forth due to nerves. She wasn’t nervous about marrying the person who was practically already her wife, no, that was the easy part. Oh, so easy. She was nervous about her vows. She really didn’t want to mess it up. And if **she** felt that way, she couldn’t imagine how nervous her public-speaker-phobic, wife-to-be felt.

Somehow this day felt more important than their first wedding day ever did.

She loved their wedding, she loved being married to Callie, but between the pastor’s cancelation, Callie’s mom, and Callie’s father missing until after the ceremony, something made the whole thing seem like a compromise in retrospect. Even the proposal was somewhat of a compromise.

Not today. It’s not that this time around it was some grand proposal, unless you consider Spain, but it didn’t have to be. Them, sharing an intimate moment, talking from the heart, that’s all it took. Nothing was a compromise about that. And this time, they also had a pair of the cutest flower girls a person could find, and the pair was about to walk hand in hand down the aisle. Arizona smiled widely thinking about the cute dresses they all picked together for Sofia and Tamara.

Just as the nice visual materialized in her mind, a sharp flash light nearly blinded her.

“Mom! Stop it, you are distracting me, you’ve seen this before,” Arizona whined. Her mom wouldn’t stop snapping photos, and Arizona just needed a few moments, to gather her thoughts, repeat her vows, and get the makeup artist to finish her half done make up.

“No, honey, last time everything was almost perfect, but this time…” her mom tried to explain.

“I know,” Arizona said quietly, and even though just a moment ago she was adamant about kicking her mom out of the room, Barbara didn’t miss the shine her words brought to Arizona’s eyes.

Arizona’s phone, which was on the makeup table, notified a new message just came in. April, who was the closest one, was the first one to see the photo on the screen and react.

“Oh my gosh! Tamara looks adorable!”

“Let me see!” Sofia said and jumped off the couch she was sitting on.

“Hmm, hello, I believe this is **my** phone with a photo addressed to me by **my** fiancé,” Arizona complained as Sofia, April and Barbara all gathered around the phone and gushed.

“Nothing?” Arizona asked, “no one cares what the bride has to say?

“Oh come on mama, she’s **my** sister,” Sofia said.

“That might be true but I carried her for you for nine months!”

“Yeah but mama that was ages ago! She’s been out of you longer than she was in you!” Sofia countered and Arizona groaned.

The comment reminded her of the conversation Callie and she had with Sofia a couple of months before and it made her groan again. Watching Tamara growing by the day from so close by, made Sofia curious about anatomy, and biology, and all sorts of things that forced the couple to sit Sofia down for **the** talk. The same one they thought they’d be able to avoid for a couple more years.

“They grow up so fast!” Barbara said, still melting at Tamara’s photo.

“Don’t I know it,” Arizona said bitterly and started pacing again, memorizing in her head.

“I’m so proud of you two, Arizona,” April said.

“Thanks, April,” Arizona replied, trying to not be rude but secretly irritated at the constant interruptions. All she wanted was to not mess up the vows she was about to say to Callie, why was the world against her?

Arizona loved Sofia, but right now, she was jealous of Callie for having the daughter who didn’t speak yet as company. Didn’t speak much, anyways.

“I’m serious,” April continued, oblivious the Arizona’s irritation. “What you guys have done is amazing. Just think about it. You guys were at the point of no return.”

“April, kid in the room,” Arizona warned.

“I’m not a kid anymore, mama,” Sofia protested.

“She’s not a kid anymore, Arizona,” Barbara teased.

‘World. Against. Me,’ Arizona thought. But she didn’t actually believe her own thoughts. The world was so on her side for two years now.

“Yeah, kid in the room, but the kid should know how amazing her mothers are,” April insisted and Arizona finally listened to what April was trying to say.

“Sof, your mothers tried so hard to fix something. But they just couldn’t and that’s human, and it happens and admitting so is hard and brave. But then time passed, and they tried to do something together for the sake of all of you, even if they weren’t actually together anymore, and they magically turned that point of no return, that irreversible thing into something reversible, something incredible,” she concluded and Arizona felt tears coming down her cheeks. She was happy she was only half way done with her makeup.

“It’s because they are special, auntie April,” Sofia stated and Arizona burst into a whole hearted laughter that turned into a sob a moment later.

“What is it, honey?” Barbara asked, though she had a suspicion.

“I’m getting married to the love of my life for the second time. A second time that feels like a first time. And I have two amazing, beautiful daughters, and Tim isn’t here to see it,” Arizona said and her mother nodded in understanding and walked towards Arizona to wrap her in her arms. This was exactly why the colonel decided to await his ceremonial role outside. But it didn’t stop Sofia and April from joining the group hug.

“And at least last time Mark was here,” Arizona sobbed, “but now…”

“Daddy?” Sofia asked.

“Yes, honey, your daddy. He walked your mommy down the aisle to me, and they both looked beautiful,” she concluded with a nostalgic smile.

“Today will be better,” Sofia decided.

“Yes, it will,” Arizona agreed and they all broke the hug.

Barbara, who knew her daughter could easily feel suffocated, decided to give her some space.

“I’ll go check on your father, sweetie,” she said. “Do you want anything?”

“No, thanks, mom, I really just wanna go through my vows.”

“Okay, honey. Sof, do you want to come with me and look for your grandfather?”

“Can I stay, mama? I wanna hear your vows.”

“Of course, sweetie, you were gonna hear it soon enough anyways.”

“I want to hear it first,” Sofia insisted.

“Okay, we’ll come back in a few minutes,” Barbara said, dragged April out by the elbow, and left mother and daughter alone.

Arizona’s phone beeped again and this time she was the first one to see the picture of Tamara that Callie send her.

“Your sister **is** cute,” Arizona confirmed.

“The cutest,” Sofia agreed, “but you need to do your vows!”

“Okay, baby girl, okay!” Arizona said and turned to look at herself in the mirror. Sofia was sat behind her and looked into the mirror as well.

“Calliope,” she started, “we chose this day because two years ago today we decided to become a family again even if we didn’t know that that’s what it meant yet. I never thought, never dared to dream that we’d be here again. And dream is the most fitting word, because you are the only one whom ever made me dream about this kind of future. When we weren’t together, I couldn’t even imagine it with anyone else, I just figured it was one dream that I’ll never wrap my fingers around. But that wasn’t true. It’s just that this specific dream was only meant for you. I’m only meant to wrap my fingers around yours,” she said and checked Sofia’s reaction in the mirror. Her daughter smiled and nodded, encouraging her to continue.

“We made so many mistakes in the past, and I know we’ll make some more. We are smarter, and stronger, but we’re not perfect. But I know that you will let me make my mistakes, and you’ll forgive me for them, just like I’ll forgive yours. And I also know that you make me want to be a better person, all the time. A better partner and a better mother and even a better doctor. But mostly, you simply make me dream again. After years of letting the universe pave my way, I’m reaching out to it and demanding what I want, and you did this. You did this, and so many other things. You brought us here.”

“For this, for your heart that is the kindest heart I know, for your love, for the huge TV screen you brought with you when you moved back in, and for a million other reasons, I want to marry you. I want to marry you so badly, that I would marry you every single day if I could. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone,” Arizona said and heard a cough behind her. “Except, for our two beautiful girls,” Arizona added and saw the satisfied look on Sofia’s face. “I’m here today to tell you, that I will always be there for you, I will always listen to you, and ask you how your day was, and always love you.  Do you believe me?”

There was only one way for Callie to answer that question.

* * *

Callie wanted to throw up. Except, she wasn’t allowed to throw up. She smelled like lavender, which was Arizona’s favorite scent, and her makeup was nearly perfect. She was adamant to keep her divine scent, by, for instance, not throwing up.

She was so happy, so truly excited, she almost didn’t think about the fact that she had to recite memorized words in front of an audience of people.

‘It’s only gonna be Arizona and me,’ she told herself. ‘Look into the blue eyes. Those blue eyes are the only thing that matters.’ And it was, for the most part, but then a flash light from her father’s camera hit her straight in the face, reminding her that it wasn’t just her and the blue eyes, and bringing the nausea back in a tenfold.

“Daddy, stop it, I really need a moment and this isn’t my first wedding,” Callie whined, making Addison snort.

“Calliope, I’m going to take as many pictures as I want and you’re going to pretend to like it. Last time I wasn’t here for this part,” Carlos said, trying to sound indifferent, but his voice cracked.

“I know, daddy, I know,” Callie admitted, and he could tell that she was feeling very emotional.  She walked towards him and took his hands in hers.

“You’re happy, mija, aren’t you?” He asked tenderly and Callie could feel Addison’s eyes boring into her back.

“I am. So, **so** happy, daddy. Everything is different this time. First of all, you are here,” Callie said and heard a cough behind her. “And **you** are here,” she added, turning to look at Addison. “And this wasn’t on a whim, or with a pastor’s cancelation, or a family drama…”

“Mija, your mother…”

“It doesn’t matter, daddy. Look around us, just look,” she said and gestured to Tamara. She raised her cell phone to take a photo of the girl and sent it to Arizona. “This baby girl is so gorgeous, she looks so much like her mama, and your other beautiful granddaughter is in the other room.”

“And she looks exactly like you,” Addison said and Carlos nodded in agreement.

“She does,” Callie admitted. “I’m going to be married to the love of my life, and this time, we didn’t even crash into a truck when she proposed to me,” Callie chuckled, “and then there was Spain.”

‘Spain,’ she thought. ‘Spain was **so** great. And it will be great again, and way more naked than last time.’

“We lost you to lesbian land,” Addison noted, clicking her fingers in front of Callie’s face.

“I love lesbian land,” Callie said and sighed in content. Carlos cleared his throat. “Sorry daddy. I got carried away. It happens a lot these days.”

“I’m glad to hear,” he admitted genuinely.

“I only wish Mark was here,” Callie confessed sadly and looked at Addison who wiped a tear. “Last time he walked me down the aisle, and now he’s not even here to see his daughter being the best flower girl of honor in the world.”

“Flower girl of honor?” Carlos asked in confusion.

“Come on, daddy, she’s the older one. We had to give her something higher in the hierarchy. Tamara never needs to know,” Callie said.

“Oh, she’ll know. If these girls are anything like their mother, they are going to be very sneaky,” Addison stated.

“I’m not sneaky,” Callie defended.

“Your blonde is,” Addison said matter-of-factly.

“That she is,” Callie said, “she most definitely snuck up on me. Years ago. And then she snuck up on me all over again,” Callie said with a wide smile, making the other two adults in the room join her with smiled of their own.

“Mama!” Tamara squealed and Callie sighed.

“Sneaky Arizona decided long ago that she’s the mama. Big surprise that she keeps gloating because both girls said mama first,” she complained.

“That’s cheating,” Addison added.

“I know!” Callie agreed and her eyes fell on the papers holding her vows.

“Crap! All this talking and sentimentalism distracted me! Can you guys give me a few moments? I really need to go through this,” Callie said, feeling the nausea coming back once more.

“I’ll go see if Daniel and Barbara need anything,” Carlos said and excused himself while Addison was picking a few things up.

“Okay, Tamster,” Callie said, “you have your mama’s face, so I’m just gonna pretend you are her, and if it gets weird, say ‘it’s gotten weird,’ otherwise I’ll just assume I can go on, okay?” Callie asked the baby.

“Cake!” was Tamara’s reply.

“Seriously? She can say up to like five words at her age and this is one of them?” Addison snickered.

“You’re pretending to judge but you are secretly extremely impressed,” Callie deadpanned.

“That I am, my friend, that I am,” Addison said, squeezed her friend’s arm, and was about to leave the room but Callie stopped her.

“Stay,” she said, “just in case I get all verbal diarrhea on this, but please, be quiet.”

“Promise,” Addison said and sat back down.

Callie took a breath, and picked Tamara up. She snapped another photo of her and sent it to Arizona. She then looked into Tamara’s eyes. They were the same shade of blue as Arizona’s. It calmed her down somehow, and she smiled.

“Your mama is so much better with words,” Callie said to the baby, “but I’m going to do my best, because that’s what she deserves. Here goes.”

“Arizona,” she started, “you and I… we’re **everything**. And you, I can’t quit you, and I know, because I tried. But you’re unquitable. Just like that ass.”

“Is that an actual part of it?” Addison asked.

“No, it’s just my commentary for my own vows.”

“Oh, sorry for the interruption, do continue with this inappropriate activity.”

“Do keep your promise of being quiet,” Callie noted and kept going.

“I know we’ve done this before, but nothing is the same. Or, more accurately, some of the good things are the same, some of the good things are brand new,” she said and spun around with Tamara in her hands. The baby laughed in delight, “and the bad things? The bad things we work on constantly, and so hard, until some of them turn into good things and some of them become part of life. The part of life that doesn’t feel like compromising. The part of life that feels like always striving for improvement. Which is how you make me feel about everything. I always want to be better, for our daughters, and for you. Because as you know very well, you inspire me. In a life altering way.”

“I used to be married to the love of my life. And when she was gone, my heart broken into a million pieces. But now, I’m going to be married to my best friend, a friend I haven’t had before, a friend whom also happens to be the love of my life. Someone who redefined what partnership meant to me. Someone who always has my back, if not with your own girly hands, then with a spa day, but either way, you are there for me so completely, and in so many ways I didn’t know before, and I’m never letting you go.”

“Aww…” Addison said quietly, not able to stop herself.

“Addison, you promised! Wait, are you crying?!”

“Allergies,” Addison replied.

“Right.”

“Allergies of the heart, Callie! Allergies of the heart!”

“I’m gonna finish reciting my vows now.”

“Please, go on,” Addison said and blew her nose.

“You said you wanted to get to call me your wife again, because you wanted everything with me, and every day that I wake up next to you, I feel these words course through me stronger and stronger. And I know it’ll never change. I know that. I’m not guessing that, I’m one hundred percent sure. After everything we’ve been through, and everything we came back from, there are many things I might doubt, but I’m never going to doubt you. I’m never going to doubt us.”

“I love you, so much that it hurts sometimes. But it used to hurt so bad, and now it hurts so good.”

“Might also be a bit on the inappropriate side,” Addison noted.

“I don’t care,” Callie snapped. She was on a roll, she was almost done, and she didn’t care what anybody else thought. This was for Arizona. This was for the blue eyes.

“I look at our daughters every day and what makes me the happiest when I do, is to see how much like you they are. It makes me so proud, and so filled with joy. I promise to be to you everything that you are to me, which is hard, because you and the girls are my whole world. I promise to always do what I can to make you feel the way you make me feel. I will be the person you can always lean on, but who in return will lean on you. I will want to know everything about you, and make sure you always know everything about me. I don’t ever want anyone else to know me better than you do, and I know for a fact that no one else would want to always be by your side and love you as much as I do. It’s not possible. And for those reasons, and so many more, I want to marry you. I’m always going to be here for you, and I’m always going to love you. Do you believe me?”

There was only one way for Arizona to answer that question.

And it was “I do.” 

**The End**

**A/N:**

In case you were curious, the epilogue happened about 6.5 months after chapter 31. Tamara is 13 months old.

* * *

 


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